OT: Who has started Christmas Decorating

Sorry - I still have pumpkins and corn stalks here as I believe it is autumn until Thanksgiving. The mess and stress of Christmas can wait until the turkey noodle soup is all gone :P

MelissaD

No way, no how.... I'll settle for getting the living room clean enough for the tree by 12/24

C

No, nothing goes up here until the first Sunday of Advent, and the Advent wreath. For me, that is when the season starts, and things stay up until Twelfth Night.

Dawne

Christmas starts on Christmas Eve, prior to that it is Advent which starts on Advent Sunday (30 Dec). Fortunately on our island the shops (both of them) don't put up very many decorations until about the middle of December and they don't have a public address system that they can use to broadcast so-called "Christmas Carols"

"Bruce Fletcher wrote

There are already some stores playing Christmas music here in Regina; a few (Walmart being the chief offender) were doing it even before Remembrance Day, which is just wrong. At the store where I work , Christmas music will start about December 1. There is a different treat for the staff every day from then until Christmas Eve (like our own little Advent calendar) which might include lunch, or our choice of greeting card free, or whatever, but one at least two days, the treat will be--2 hours without Christmas music!! Dawne

Bruce - this sounds lovely and civilized - I may wish to move there!

MelissaD

Bruce Fletcher (remove dentures to reply) wrote: > Christmas starts on Christmas Eve, prior to that it is Advent which

Bruce -

Sounds wonderful (although you meant Nov. 30th for Advent). This suits my style...I'll be on the next boat!

Sue

That sounds like me. About two or three weeks ago we brought in the huge schefflera that summers on the deck, winters in the living room, and now it's taking up MORE space than a Christmas tree! I've had this plant for

30 years, and soon I'll have to get a baby plant from it and start over, finding a new (larger) home for the "mother" plant. We have it in a plastic pot, and it's so heavy and the pot is so weathered that when we move it, the plastic pot breaks off in our hands. I have to water it slowly, because the water will just run out the holes. I don't know how I'll transplant it to a nicer pot! But I have til spring to figure it out; it'll have to be done out on the deck (no ceiling!)

Maybe we'll just decorate this plant. We've done it before! (I was still finding ornaments on it in July.)

sue

You are quite right, I meant 30 Nov. That's what comes from posting after taking my daily ration of homebrewed beer...

Up the road from where we live they have gone the whole hog, well actually about two weeks ago.

Santa and reindeer sailing across the roof which is covered in artificial snow and whole front yard full of "stuff"

I took my crochet Halloween spider web and spider down from the front door a couple of days ago ;-)

Edna in Sydney

We have a woman in our group, our Buddhist group who insists on giving us Christmas presents because it's "nice." Good, then just give at any time of the year. I don't get all caught up in the Christmas spending thing. It's annoying that people force presents down the throats of other adults. First off, I am a Buddhist and don't celebrate Christmas. I don't decorate. That's another thing; why do people have to say the minute they walk into my house "where's the tree?" I don't have a tree. I don't have lights. I don't decorate because (as they used to say) Madison Avenue tells me I should spend money, and gobs of it.

Christmas is the celebration of the life of one of the most important people of our time. Christ's teachings are magnificent. He didn't say anything about spending above our means, getting into debt, putting pressure on anyone to have to fly thousands of miles to go home for Christmas, or send cards. He was a simple, amazing man. Some would say he is the son of God. The reason for the season is not so we can get in debt and decorate. However, if people want to decorate and overspend, go for it. I have no problem. Just don't expect me also to do it. We're probably buying a brand new front loading set washer/gas dryer for ourselves. That, is a great present.

something we actually need Victoria

While I completely agree that many people are out of control with Christmas spending, and that it's not necessary to buy presents for the whole world, the pedant in me has to point out that receipt of a gift isn't really something to get up in arms about. If you like it, keep it. If you don't, get rid of it. In the meantime, you can properly assume that the adults giving you the gift are big boys and girls who can own their choices to give or not give for whatever reasons strike their fancy at the time without obligating you to do the same in return.

Best wishes, Ericka

That's fine, but this person expects something in return because, "it's nice." I do accept her gift, with genuine thanks, but it is wholly unnecessary. I don't get all up in arms, but after many repeated times of asking her to not surprise me for my birthday, or spend money on me at the holidays, that it makes me uncomfortable, I conclude it is passive aggressive and he way of mounting me like a dominant dog. You have to be here to see how it's done to understand my meaning. I always send my mother in law a Christmas gift because she is Christian and she sends us silly things like the pen the dentist gave her, the toothbrushes she gets from the dentist, a pad or a washcloth shaped like an animal then you wet it and poof, a washcloth. Silly fun things. My sister in law gets so pissed off at that. We don't. But she's my husband's mother. Eh, I just can't stand the ritual of debt people do at this time of year. Maybe with the financial climate this year it will slow it down and be more normalized. Victoria

I understand what you meant, but the bottom line is that she may intend that, but you don't have to bend to her intent. A pleasant "thank you" (whether you like and keep the gift or not) and a refusal to let her choices dictate your gift-giving will likely eventually result in her stopping the behavior if it really is a dominance thing for her. When you ask her not to do it, you are setting up the opportunity for her to irritate you by giving the gift. A corollary of the etiquette rule that you can't demand that others give you gifts is that since you do not control what others do, you also have no business telling them when *not* to give you gifts. Her game wouldn't be any fun if you didn't care whether you received a gift or not, and if she couldn't bully you into giving her a gift simply by giving you a gift.

Pretty much *everything* about gift giving would be better if everyone agreed to back off mistaken assumptions about what other people should or should not do. The only times when etiquette requires giving gifts are when you agree to attend a shower (and the custom of giving a wedding gift when you attend a wedding is so strong that it's probably best not to trample on that one). Gifts are optional in all other situations in US etiquette. Give when you want to give, and refuse to be held hostage to others' expectations. Receive what is given to you gracefully, thank the giver appropriately, and then do with the gift what you will (aside from those few situations in which the giving of the gift is truly inappropriate, as in the case of bribes or kickbacks or engagement rings from men you don't intend to marry or that sort of thing). Outside of those truly inappropriate gifts, it is actually a sort of control to attempt to tell others what they ought to be doing with their time and money. Kick back and relax and enjoy your own fiscal responsibility.

While we know statistically that too many people spend themselves into debt over the holidays, one doesn't know about any particular individual who might give one a gift unless one makes assumptions about that person's financial situation...which is none of one's business ;-) (Or unless one actually knows the other person's financial business, which is also usually a no-no.)

Best wishes, Ericka

In my family, a 'secret Santa' tradition has been instituted so that 'everyone gets something and no-one has to spend too much'. To my mind, that makes the whole Christmas thing about *getting* something, where it ought to be about the *giving*!

I like to think about each of my family members and come up with an appropriate gift for them! Since we aren't often financially flush, our kids don't get much during the year and that's why we save for a big splash at Christmas time. It's their opportunity to get big ticket items they've hankered for (although DS doesn't hanker after much at all beyond cloudy skies, rainbows and his cats).

Like you, Victoria, I reckon the whole Christmas thing has become a tragic sham. I think it was 'On the Banks of Plum Creek' (Laura Ingalls Wilder) where Mr Edwards plodded through the snow and across the swollen creek to bring the girls a tin mug and *one* conversation sweet each for their Christmas gifts. They were overjoyed and treated their gifts as if they were bejewelled! I don't for a minute think we ought to be handing out tin mugs to our loved-ones, but I do think it's that kind of simplicity we've lost to the machinations of retailers.

The Ugly Sister spends *megabux* on her kids and each year worries herself into a pretzel trying to think of something they haven't already got and might, perhaps, like to have. She's gone past sanity when it comes to buying gifts for her grandkids! They have every battery-operated electronic device that pops and crackles. They have every doll, every game, every licenced item you could imagine. And they have zero books, except for the ones I've given them. My DNiece seems to think the price tag equals some kind of 'goodness' index!

A few years ago, I gave Breanna a bag of el cheapo musical instruments: a recorder, castanets, a trumpet, a small drum and a small guitar. Zoe received an el cheapo bag of pseudo-Duplo building bricks. They played all Christmas day with these items and my DNiece was speechless that her children actually sat quietly for such a long time. And they were

*playing* cooperatively and not whining/whinging and throwing things at each other.

Funny, that.

Just as an aside, I've always reckoned kids get far better value from toys they can *do* things with, rather than the kind that requires batteries and then performs so that the kid is passive (ie just sits and watches) in 'playing' with it. The batteries are usually spent by the end of Christmas day and the novelty wears off very quickly. Give a kid a book or a game or a construction toy that stretches his thought processes and you've given him an ongoing occupation rather than a ten-minute wonder.

Of course, if you give him a *book* you give him the key to much more than any name-brand toy could ever provide.

Just to point out, I am always gracious and thankful. I don't make a big scene. However, you do make some valid points and I will take your advice. Thanks.

She continuously complains about how much money she spends on this or that. Eh, I'll take responsibility in my part of the game and will put an end to my way of thinking. Your advice made perfect sense and I thank you for the time you put into your answer. Victoria

Oh lovely, I fully agree with this sort of family tradition. Instead of getting ten junky junks, you can buy one nice one and it's easier to plan for.

Yes again. When I was a child and myItalian, Roman Catholic grandmother took me to mass, when it was said in Latin, and on Christmas Eve mass, it truly felt magical. There was a reason to celebrate and while I am fortunate to come from a family who could be generous, I always appreciated each thing I received. However, the "real reason" was not effectively ignored, as it is now. Or seems.

When she'd take me to church as a child she kept me quiet by telling me, "Vittoria, sshhhh, baby Jesus is sleeping." I always tried to see Baby Jesus! I'll never forget those magical days when I still thought everything would be okay.

I can't disagree with any of this. There is a charm which seems to be missing these days. Victoria

There are also many many people who are sincere about celebrating the religious festival, others of all faiths who give generously to charity at this season, and lots who give to family and friends out of genuine joy. Trish, I think, is one of them, and I try to be another, and I think there are many others here. I do sometimes say that Christmas is over commercialized, and I do mean it. But if twinkly things all over your lawn and mall Santas make you happy, fine with me, go for as much as you want. I like happy people, and the world dearly needs them.

And, for the record, the first words out of my mouth on Christmas morning will be religious blather, as I prepare to administer communion, and to read my favourite gospel of the year, appointed for Christmas Day in the Morning, "In the beginning was the Word..."

Karen, I hope you meet some good people this holiday season--don't give up, they're out there!

Dawne

The universe has an amazing way of meeting our expectations over and over and over again.