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Checking in-long

I thought I'd better take a few minutes and check in with everyone. As I was warned the Holidays were rough, but we got through them. I think the hardest by far was the day we celebrated Christmas with all DH's family and although they were the hardest I'm glad we did attend.

DH didn't want a memorial service. He always told me throw me a big ars party! I am hoping to have a celebration of life around his birthday (end of March), but am not concerning myself too hard on that right at the moment. I'm just trying to deal with the simpler things like cleaning out the "junk" shaver he refused to get rid of cause he might need it. And just the day to day things, like what to cook for supper.

I still have to contend with the van that was purchased and no longer needed. It's wheelchair accessible and expensive.

I carry a deep sadness within me like a second skin and there are days I go without crying, but still feel kind of like I'm just functioning alot of the time. On top of all this I'm about to lose my dad to lung cancer. He is getting closer to being with my DH. At this point I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, fighting depression and am taking the time to regroup, along with seeking professional help to get me through this.

I did get two new QI's. They are sisters. One is called Night, she's completely black with amber eyes and she likes to wake me up between two a.m. and four a.m. This morning she was a little late, it was quarter to five. Her sister is Gabby and she's a gray tabby. She's a little more laid back, easy going kind of gal. They have brought some much needed laughter to my son and I. They were strays and I adopted them from a friend who'd rescued them. They are strictly indoor kitties and would love to get (or make) some type cat climbing furniture. I'll have to add a picture or two to my webshots album.

We had two feet of snow here and then back and forth of snow and ice. This has happened about three times in the last twelve years I've lived in this house. My gutters are all ruined and will have to be replaced. I'll add it to my list!!!! UGH!!! It was so bad here the garbage trucks wouldn't come out. I finally had propane delivered yesterday. It was scarry out low the tank was! Now it's just raining and alot of people are worried about flooding in town. Thankfully I'm far enough away and I don't think I'm in any danger for that.

I haven't done much in the sewing/quilting department, other than think about it. I'll get there soon enough.

I think about you all and for those of you who are not doing well I'm sending prayers and positive vibes your way and sending a Hoorah to those of you who are doing well.

Sunny, I'm so sorry the study wasn't what you'd hoped for. My step-mom has lupus and is fighting a flare up. I don't know too much about it, other than it's not a good thing.

Launie, in Oregon

Reply to
simpleseven
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Reply to
Joanna

Launie, One day at a time. dont forget that. You're in good shape for the shape you're in.

keeping you in my P & t's.....glad to hear about the new QI's. I'm still debating on that score.

amy in CNY

Reply to
amy in CNY

Clearing the junk is one of the sadest things you will have to do. All those little things he had but that really don't matter... It feels like you are betraying their memory, being disloyal... But you really aren't. Take anything that still has use to Goodwill, keep the important things, and the guilt will go when the stuff goes.

Advertize it in a suitable place. You may take a loss on it, but it will make it affordable for someone who needs such a thing and couldn't afford it new.

It takes about a year to get over the first set of 'humps' in the grief process. There are a lot of things that you'll be doing for the first time without him. It does get better. Don't rush it. Recognizing that you are in need of help and making that happen are HUGE steps forward. Well done!

It seems to be easier to get used to the loss of a parent (as an adult) than to the loss of a partner or sibling. More in the natural order of things... Very hard that this sorrw comes so close on the heels of the other. And no wonder you are feeling battered by the whole lot. Focus on what you CAN do, not on what you can't. Be practical, if it helps.

This sounds like an excellent pair! And an excellent start to the new year. And laughter heals enormously.

ARGH! We had an old cast iron gutter and downpipe freeze and then shatter and fall through the conservatory roof once many years ago. It dug a hole in the floor, too. Ice everywhere! Some of the icicles were yards long, as we had several feet of snow that slowly compacted and then went through a long thaw/freeze/thaw/freeze cycle.

I'm glad you have heating though. It's cold enough here!

Take all the time you need. No hurries!

You are doing amaizingly well, and I admire the progress you have made. Take care, won't you. Those kitties will be a boon, I'm telling you.

Reply to
Kate XXXXXX

Thanks for checking in and letting us know how things are going. I think you're doing just fine considering what you all have been through and are going through. Just keep taking it one day at a time (or even one hour or minute at a time). Even though your life will never be the same for you again, you will establish a different life with a lot of wonderful memories of your love. I'm glad to hear you decided to get QIs. We have two new ones, as well, and I know what you mean about bringing laughter into your life.

Don't forget to check in every once in a while - we miss you.

Reply to
Louise in Iowa

So very glad you checked in Launie. I've been thinking of you a lot, and wondering how you've been managing. Because, of course, that's what you are doing for the moment - just managing: putting one foot in front of the other and getting from A to B. You may find that when your dear Dad dies, you will feel the weight of dread lifted from you. You will be sad, naturally; but it is more in keeping with the usual way of things that a parent dies - even if it is nevertheless too soon. You won't have to fear its happening, though; and that fear is probably with you all the time. You don't know how you will manage that sadness too.

I'm so very glad you are seeking professional help. You most certainly need it and this will help you get through the worst of times.

How lovely that you have two new kitties for you and your son to look after. If you look up 'cat climbing frames' on Google, you can get an idea of what to make, or buy. We have bought several over the years. Do shop around - the last one we bought we found exactly the same unit at literally half the price of the first place we looked at. Our current one has three places to sleep (we didn't put the hanging tunnel on, because we knew from experience that they never used it - I gave it to me bunnies for a tunnel to run through!! They love it).

Thanks so much for getting up the strength to come and let us know how you are. Never forget that many people care about you. Store up that knowledge and draw on it when you need to. . In message , simpleseven writes

Reply to
Patti

Reply to
Estelle Gallagher

One day ar a time, one step at a time. My thoughts and hugs are with you.

Claudia

Reply to
claudia

It's so good to hear from you, Launie. You were on my mind all during the holidays. I'm glad you participated, and felt the reward of doing so. That deep sadness will always be there from now on, but as time goes buy it won't be so sharp and stabbing. You have my prayers, and my hugs.

Karen, Queen of Squishies

simpleseven wrote:

Reply to
Karen, Queen of Squishies

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