OT Christmas Bloopers

You just are not ready for this one. I was on red alert to try to think of everything. The Grand Pizza production made sure I could feed anyone at anytime no matter what their notion of pizza topping was. Guess what the screw-up was? The pizza pans I bought so I could have plenty for everybody to top and to bake when they wanted to were too big for my oven. My year-old beautiful perfect wonderful oven. ( It's not like I was using one from the singles apartment building in Japan, for Heaven's sake.) Not one of those stoves where there are two ovens and neither one is big enough for anything. Just one great big oven. Poor dear oven did really well 'not quite' shut. Who would ever had thought to see if the pans would 'go' in the oven? Mr Esther asked me if I wanted to saw off part of the pans for next year. Nope. I think we'll just make an interesting bend at one edge. Anyone else have a blooper that we need to prepare for? Polly

Reply to
Polly Esther
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Oh yeah, a real blooper. Although Polly, yours is quite wonderful. (Please somebody reprint my post so Polly can see...) We planned mashed potatoes, green beans with almonds, rack of lamb with a crust of smoked paprika, garlic, rye bread crumbs and olive oil. Yummmmmm. And oldest son won't eat lamb, so I defrosted two pork chops and (through the snow and all) grilled them with BBQ sauce -- my homemade BBQ sauce -- special for the boy. We sit down to eat, everybody takes that first delicious bite and (drumroll please) oldest son says 'this tastes funny' and I try it and by George, it tastes about as ruined as any mean has ever been. Didn't smell bad. Smelled great. Had been frozen since purchase. But there went his dinner. We're about to take him out to the only restaurant open in town. Coincidentally younger son is working there tonight. So oldest son is about to have pancakes and fries and youngest son will be sullen because we came into his restaurant.

Other than that, the lamb was divine, the Shiraz was also divine and diviner when paired with the lamb.

Merry Christmas and to all a good night!

Love, Sunny

Reply to
Sunny

Reply to
Dee in Oz

One from my childhood, so there were probably dinosaurs in the top left of the map...

Dad ordered a turkey from the local farm. Nice old fashioned running about for a few weeks black feather turkey (this being Days of Yore, before turkeys turned into factory made white things). When he went to collect it, the farmer said he could have the ordered turkey if he wanted it (bird of about 8lbs), or he could have this larger one that had run into the fence and broken it's own neck rather than waiting to be despatched properly: perfectly OK, but with this big bruise on it's neck, not saleable... OK, says dad, seeing a bargain, we'll have the big one!

Yerse... Ended up being roasted propped up on it's pope's nose and drumsticks, this being the only way to fit it in the oven!

The damned thing weighed about 20lbs, and there were three small children (all under five) and two adults, and we didn't own a freezer in those days!

Reply to
Kate XXXXXX

Kate XXXXXX wrote:

It's been YEARS since I have heard anyone call the tail of a turkey the pope's nose! Must be a British/Irish thing because Granny was from Ireland. This same thing happened to my DSis the first year she lived in a new apt. Wasn't at a holiday (She's Jehovah's Witness so doesn't celebrate) but she was cooking the turkey because they were on sale. For her, the Dh had to beat the livin' bejayzes out of the breast bone to get it to break a bit so that the bird would fit into the over -- LOLOL! For me -- this year -- I have been baking like mad for the last week. one of the things DD requested I make was fudge. I made a HUGE batch and it turned out lovely *until* I ate the first bite. Seems I hadn't paid close attention when I bought the walnuts and used Black Walnuts. Now, none of us care for them -- we like regular walnuts -- so there sits a whole tub of lovely firm fudge that no one really cares for. VBS what can I say, it's not as bad as the Lemon Meringue pie (DD's favourite) that I forgot to put the lemon juice & zest into the lemon curd!!! I had saved it back to put into the meringue!!! Fortunately I came to my senses as I was whipping the egg whites so just put the zest on the top of the pie and popped it back into the oven to brown a bit. Well, **brown** it did :-))). I forgot to set the timer and went on to make the cheesecake. The lemon meringue wasn't actually burned -- just a nice shade of toasty brown. I'm sure the squirrels loved having it for their Christmas dessert -- LOLOL! CiaoMeow >^;;^<

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at

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Tia Mary

Reply to
Roberta

Yesterday was Christmas Dinner and beforehand I had purchased "good" paper plates and also the Styrofoam ones, and paper napkins, and plastic forks & such. We invited friends, 68 anniversary for them and another couple. (For the past 3 weeks I have been recovering from flu.) So yesterday I was feeling really bad so DH said he would warm up our dinner that had been ordered from the local grocery store. Took 2 hours to warm everything! He then decided we wold eat off a :real: table with nice china plates and silverware. Well, I was sick and he was the one to do the cleaning, so what did I care. Took him another 2 hr. to divide up the left overs and clean up everything. But it was GREAT! Barbara in FL

Reply to
Bobbie Sews More

My blooper for this year was with cookies. Have a great chocolate cookie recipe - with a note to use the same one for sugar cookies minus the cocoa. However, I forgot I needed to make up the dry ingredients with more flour so I had taffy to scrape off the pans since I preloaded the entire batch onto the cookie sheets prior to discovering my error. Then I guess I just really flustered myself and forgot to add about 2/3 of the sugars to the choc. chip cookies. They were actually pretty good - just not quite as sweet as normal.

It's now been snowing here for about an hour and the street is already covered. Grassy areas are starting to get covered as well.

Kim in NJ Hunkering down for the 20 plus inches of snow expected through tomorrow AM.

Reply to
AuntK

well, here goes....(i don't usually share my bloopers..) since moving to California, my DS has requested homemade fudge. now...my mom has a recipe for great, and i mean great, fudge. no melted chips, no cheating...real, good, fudge. so, i thought i'd be Betty Crocker and make it. well...after 2 days in the fridge, it would not firm up. i really think i totally forgot at least 2 ingredients. i'm not sure which ones, but i know i forgot them. i ended up with a chocolate syrup/gooo thing. the only upside was, now we have it to use to make chocolate milk.

i'll have to call my mom to see what i did wrong....could be in the cooking part...hmmm.

BTW i love black walnuts, so if Tia Mary wants to forward that to me.....

Reply to
amy in SoCal

I usually bake a hungarian goodie called isli tea sutemeny, people often just call them Emperor Franz Josef cookies. They are two hazelnut wafers with apricot or raspberry filling between them, the top is dipped in chocolate and adorned with a blanched almond. They are a great favorite amongst everybody that eats my baking.

The first thing that went wrong was hazelnuts not being available for love nor money. OK, in a pinch I have used almond meal and flavored the wafers with a dash of frangelico, so I figured I could do that again. Of course I forgot the frangelico. Took the wafers out of the oven, turned around and there was the unopened bottle sitting next to the cooling racks.

Then DH brought home raw almonds instead of blanched. OK, no big deal, I have used those before, though these are now starting to turn into a completely different cookie.

I went to the pantry to get the pastry filling. Gone, vanished, nowhere to be found, neither raspberry nor apricot. I couldn't even find the turkish apricot paste that was stowed away for just such an emergency. Fine! says I, I am inventing something completely new! So I snagged a jar of hungarian sour cherry preserves and used that, working around the whole cherries, and just using the jelly and the little bits of cherries that wouldn't make for an unstable cookie sandwich.

I stacked my cookie sandwiches on a plate and set them in the pantry to set up so they could be dipped.

And promptly completely forgot about them.

I rediscovered them this afternoon when I went in there to snag some ramen for lad.

I have taken them out and set them on the table. Let all who wish to eat them do so! I am done with them!

NightMist

Reply to
NightMist

Roberta, my eldest son is not by any means 'a regular carnivore.' He has refused to put beef in his mouth since he turned 3. Heard on TV about mad cow disease and informed me that he would never, ever eat anything again that might have said disease. Twenty years later and he's kept to his word. Many, many foods don't meet his requirements. Lamb is just one of them.

Sunny

Reply to
Sunny

My own Bloopers continue but not as bad as the pizza pan size. For Sunday morning breakfast I thought it would be great to toss in fried crumbled bacon leftover from the pizza production. Wrong. Where in Sam Hill did I put the bacon? I looked everywhere logical and some places not so logical. No bacon. I scrambled eggs unadorned but really wondered if it would turn up in the wii or the sack of wadded gift wrapping. Aha. The bacon was hiding behind the refrigerated cheese cake that I also forgot. Finally there is nothing I 'have' to do or just must do. Peace. Ah. How lovely. And to all of you, Peace be unto you. Polly

"AuntK" My blooper for this year was with cookies. Have a great chocolate cookie recipe - with a note to use the same one for sugar cookies minus the cocoa. However, I forgot I needed to make up the dry ingredients with more flour so I had taffy to scrape off the pans since I preloaded the entire batch onto the cookie sheets prior to discovering my error. Then I guess I just really flustered myself and forgot to add about 2/3 of the sugars to the choc. chip cookies. They were actually pretty good - just not quite as sweet as normal.

It's now been snowing here for about an hour and the street is already covered. Grassy areas are starting to get covered as well.

Kim in NJ Hunkering down for the 20 plus inches of snow expected through tomorrow AM.

Reply to
Polly Esther

On Sat, 25 Dec 2010 21:07:47 -0600, Polly Esther wrote (in article ):

No bloopers yet. But we are heading to Glen Ellyn later today to see David's family. There are so many things that could go wrong there.

I'm just praying that there aren't any truly horrid gifts.

Maureen

Reply to
Maureen Wozniak

Got to share this one with you all. An 'on the other side of the Swamp' neighbor's 3 year-old nephew was visiting with her early Christmas Eve. As you would expect, she asked the question, " And what is Santa Claus going to bring you?" " I want a bell, " the little guy said. "A bell? What kind of bell? Why do you want a bell?" With the clear logic of a 3 year-old, he answered, " I want to go stand in front of WalMart and ring my bell and everybody that comes by will give me money." Next year, Mr. Esther wants a bell too. Polly

"Maureen Wozniak" No bloopers yet. But we are heading to Glen Ellyn later today to see David's

Reply to
Polly Esther

Reply to
Susan Laity Price

=A0Polly- Hide quoted text -

The culprit in our family for years was my DSis and ex BIL. They were always notoriously late. My mother got to the point that she would tell them dinner was 1-1 1/2 hours earlier than planned just so they were closer. I have to say we can't blame in all on ex BIL. DSis is better but still not quite there. I was amazed that when Dad said dinner was to be at 1:30PM on Christmas none of the stragglers arrived until then or later. Granted, food was ready 30 min. earlier so it was a little tepid for all but still...don't you usually arrive at least a few minutes before the planned meal time????

Kim in NJ

Reply to
AuntK

=A0Polly- Hide quoted text -

Sunny, FWIW - baked ziti and lasagne seem to hold pretty well for pasta dishes. Not sure what was on your menu. We do an open house each Christmas season and the baked ziti is a winner. Follow the directions on the box of ziti. I did 2 lbs worth. Made it up a few hours in advance and then re-heated for a few minutes prior to serving. Granted, it's a very casual 'eat at your own pace' type event. We also generally have a spiral sliced ham and a turkey breast along with various side dishes. All buffet style. And we now have our very own warming plate - about 4 ft. long - that keeps the hot stuff going for hours if needed. No one seems to complain. I'm usually one of the last ones to get food and it's still hot several hours after removal from the oven. Just a thought.

Kim in NJ

Reply to
AuntK

So GLAD Kim that you've survived the snow storm blizzard! We were hoping to hear from you. As to 'when' to arrive at a special dinner - I thought I knew but maybe need updating. Emily Post would say one thing and probably lots of others something else. Recently I unfortunately overheard an enraged hostess because a guest arrived about 10 minutes before dinner. Honestly, I thought that was close to right. Earlier - she might have found the hostess with mascara on only one eye and the QI inspecting the floral arrangement on the table. If you say: dinner at one .... when do you think the guests should try to arrive? Since we're a world-wide bunch of feelings, I would love to know what is locally acceptable. ( Anytime after one with major excuses like 20" of snow is pardonable but mostly Not!) Tell us what your custom is. Polly

"AuntK" >

The culprit in our family for years was my DSis and ex BIL. They were always notoriously late. My mother got to the point that she would tell them dinner was 1-1 1/2 hours earlier than planned just so they were closer. I have to say we can't blame in all on ex BIL. DSis is better but still not quite there. I was amazed that when Dad said dinner was to be at 1:30PM on Christmas none of the stragglers arrived until then or later. Granted, food was ready 30 min. earlier so it was a little tepid for all but still...don't you usually arrive at least a few minutes before the planned meal time????

Kim in NJ

Reply to
Polly Esther

And that's why, Susan, I decided to do the Grand Pizza production. We had early, we had on time, we had late and much later. Even later than that. If there's a way to serve a happy meal ( with apology to McDonald's) for both me and the guests who all have challenges of their own, I've never attempted a better one. Not even Cecile B D'Mille (sp?) could have managed the comings and goings of our kin. I just don't know how your beloved little momma would have thought about pizza for Christmas dinner. She might think everybody was happy and never even noticed. Polly

"Susan Laity Price" <

Reply to
Polly Esther

Polly, around my family we usually try to give both an "arrive around" time and a "meal served" time. But we need to up the lag for my sister from 1 to 2 (or more) hours.

This year I checked with my neice (3 small kids, a nice home and the torch for hosting the holiday gathering has passed to her) about 10AM for times and such. She told me that my sister had been told 1PM. I said that means at least 2, and she agreed. We drove down to Marana from Phoenix (a bit over 100 miles) and got there by 1:30. Sis didn't arrive until almost 3:30.... she found some gifts that had been stashed. Sigh. (She was also late to her own weddings. My first wedding was delayed because she was late, but with the MS it is getting worse.)

Pati, > So =A0 GLAD =A0 Kim that you've survived the snow storm blizzard! =A0We w= ere

Reply to
Pati, in Phx

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