OT: completely and utterly off topic

In article , snipped-for-privacy@removethisbit.gmail.com says... Wow! You are taking that a lot more calmly than I would have ... One question arises for me, which you haven't covered: have you told his wife about what he is doing? You might at least get a reason?? Or she might know that he has done this sort of thing before?

Good luck for a peaceful outcome.

Pat on the green .

No I haven't told his wife, because if I ever call he answers the phone and she talks to me via him :s We used to speak via emails, as apparently he doesn't understand computers, however, I don't believe that.

Of course since saying out loud to close friends what has happened, apparently I am not the first just in our little commune! She believes everything that he says, I think more out of fear than actually believing him, she has several accidents in recent years, all caused by accidents involving him. Help has been offered to her and in fact she was coming to our bookclub until she was getting too friendly with all us other ladies...

I may seem calm, but inside I am seething with rage to be honest, but I've found him to be an attention seeking person, hence why I haven't answered his threats but reported them, as I think he will only twist and twist and try to manipulate anything that is said. In all honesty I would love to go round to his house and have it out, but he would love that.

Fortunately/unfortunately my parents live by, but their response was, well that's what you get for being too sociable. I was only friends with his wife and he offered to do gardening work for us, which never happened, he just kept turning up to apologise for not doing it and then planning when he would, eventually followed by I'm not doing it, which was fine by us, as we had had enough. As for being too sociable, it is a difficult situation as I am in local elections and you have to be seen, so unless I leave and go live in a cave, I don't have a lot of choice. He is very clever and manipulative and I am angry with myself for being taken in like this, but whats done is done, just want our lives back to normal.

Janner France

Can you change the answering message on your phone to: Warning. Your message is being forwarded to Police Captain Pepe l'Phew. (you would want to explain to your Mom in case she needs to call at 3 am). Additional thought: You can't change him or his wife but you can change how his calls affect you. Polly

OK, ever get the feeling you have "mug" or "idiot" or "gullable" on a big arrow above your head? Cos I do! A friend's DH has taken to phoning in the middle of the night leaving threatening messages against me but not my DH, as he's a nice guy! Yesterday woke up to find answermachine flashing with a message left at 03.00! Long story short was friends with his DW, but he keeps her under control, she has no freedom to do anything without him there. Now I think that he believes that he can bully me in to the same behaviour, OH NO, that aint going to happen.

Have filed a report at the local police station and now wait to see what happens. My major worry is that he is mentally unstable and owns a gun.... Trying to live my life as normal, have told everyone I know, who may have contact with him to be careful.

Just wanted to tell someone and I know that you are full of help and words of wisdom here ;) DH reckons he's a coward and that he won't do anything because it is the middle of the night when he left the messages, we haven't responded to him directly, just via the police.

Even in sunny France there are weirdos and no he isn't French he's English! The only other thing that may have rattled him, is that I have been invited to stand in our village's elections as a councillor and I think that he has a problem with strong women, so that may have unbalanced the situation aswell.

Thank you for letting me rant :)

Janner France

More than 10 years ago I received a middle-of-the-night phone call on my answering machine and I took the ans. mach. tape to the police department and ask them what could I do. (Now I had a formal complaint.) They told me to try to get a name before they could do anything. So maybe if you can take a tape to the police and file a complaint------????? They MUST have a record of a complaint! Hope this helps! Barbara in FL

--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: snipped-for-privacy@netfront.net ---

Yep have filed a complaint and he has done the same to a friend of mine, so she and her husband have filed a complaint aswell. Have arranged to have our phone number changed and going ex-directory. I don't think that the police are that happy that we've done that, because they want to collect evidence, but my Dr advised us to do this, as he had similar probs himself. So fingers crossed.

Janner France