OT Four Seasons Singles Group 'N Me- very long but funny

Yes. I went to The Four Seasons Singles Group again last night. It was a much smaller turn-out without the raucous atmosphere of the band and the rip-roaring appeal of twirling around the dance floor to the gravitating sounds of the hillbilly hymns. The cast was set when I came thru the door- they were already hard at it playing a cut-throat game of cards called Seven Up-Seven own. There was Karen, the leader, mid-60s and a BIG gal- she's pleasant and tries to keep the group talking and moving along. Clifford One- 87 who complains that his wives don't "last" long enough- has food stains down the front of his shirt. Clifford Two (related? who knows??? This *IS* The Ozarks! LOL) thank goodness he didn't start in with the "pretty lady" whispers, but he did remove his eyeballs and glue them to the front of my blouse and left them there the entire evening. Augda was there again- I didn't realize it but she was a first timer last week as well- she and Freeman spent so much time dancing that I didn't hardly see her- she's 80-ish. Freeman. Oh, he's the ladykiller of the bunch- 80-ish also! =A0 He dances every dance (can hardly walk and barely shuffles on the dance floor!), charms everyone (how?!?!?) and has Augda wrapped around his little finger and calling him "Honey" already! Then there's Alex who is very quiet and had a stroke which has affected is ability to walk but is very sharp mentally- I'd guess he's mid 70s. =A0 Carl is an old timer who was in the hospital last week- he's on oxygen and keeps saying it's so hot in here I can't breathe. (It was pleasantly cool in the room.) He looked so gray I kept reviewing my police training to recall CPR instructions. But the main thing running thru my mind was "Please God, make him have brushed his teeth today". Awful, I know..... I may be a dyed blonde, but I truly

*do* qualify!!! And then there's me.

We were sitting at the large round table playing this card game... me with the eyeballs glued to my chest. This was an interesting experience. They do not take turns.... well, they kinda do, but they forget whose turn it is. Three of the people do not have the mental ability to play the game, so the people on both sides of them are arguing which cards they should be playing. Augda has figgered out that I usually slightly raise the card I will play next or I place it to the left, so she keeps peeking at my hand so she can plan her next play since she plays right after me. Why, I have no idea, since she nearly always passes so that she can help "Honey" with his hand. "Honey Freeman" gets a hand on his thigh and a "Honey, play *this* card*" comment. He beams, plays the card, and comments on what a great day/game/group this is.

Alex plays quietly and correctly after Freeman, then Carl plays loudly and aggressively. He does NOT like it when the cards are messy or someone puts a diamond on the hearts! Well, red on red is darn close for

*this* group!!! Then he wipes his dry face and comments on the heat again. Next, it's old Clifford who often "jumps" his turn.... if he has a *hot* card he's anxious to play, he'll sneak it out there any time he feels like it! Generally, they tend to ignore him and then just skip him when he's off daydreaming. I guess it all works out as he never seems to run out of cards first- which is how you win. Then on to Clifford Two. They can tell him to play the two of hearts and he can take it out of his hand, but he cannot place it on the hearts pile! =A0 I do not understand why he recognizes it in his hand, but cannot follow thru with the recognition..... maybe it's cuz his eyes are still glued to my chest? hmmmmmm.... Karen is usually so busy chattering away, it takes some time so get her attention to tell her it's her turn, so I've taken to nudging her arm. She always acts startled that it's her again already. Then my turn again..... with Augda peeking. It was exhausting! As they say- like herding cats to the bath! Each of us manages to win a few times except Augda. I think she finds winning to be un-ladylike. She is quite disapproving of my boisterous enthusiasm, but smiles on me with an air of condensation. This coming from a skinny little gal with a balding head and a pot belly with a "Honey" with dirty teeth and little ability to concentrate but then he *is* a dancing fool..... and all *I* have is Clifford...... and my "youth"! LOL

Karen was telling how they all had attended the dance at the Senior Center the previous Friday night and they all chattered on about who danced together, who sat where and what was offered to eat. It seems sitting by the trash can or by the restrooms are the most popular choices as everybody will be passing by there at some point- or at many, many points. It's a "see and be seen" thing! The competition for the men is really brutal at that age as the men are dying off and there is an excess of old ladies. The men are VERY aware of it and it is hilarious the way they take advantage!!! Karen mentioned that she had asked Young Clifford to dance several times and he refused her. Clifford looked me dead-on and said he only dances with his mama and with pretty ladies. Oh my Gawd! He's saving himself for ME!!!! Here's where I want to crawl under the table again. Carl makes a sound of sheer and utter disgust and heaves himself up and off to the men's room dragging his oxygen tank.

The card game has broken up and Skinny Don comes in. He helps himself to a slice of pizza- better food for game night than the sandwiches at the "potluck dinner" last week! Alex and Don decide to play some pool..... Alex can hardly walk from the stroke, so I'm wondering....... Young Clifford has a "crik" in his leg (don't ask- he was staring at me when he said it!!! OMG!) and needed to walk it off in the other room. I sat there and talked with Karen for a while then wandered into the pool room. They were down to the last few balls. I watched a few shots, but since I don't know much about the rules I was fairly lost. I *do* know that you are supposed to *hit* the white ball with the stick...... which Alex seldom managed to do. Sad. But he kept trying. When Don was down to the white ball and the eight ball he had a perfect shot to the corner pocket. He did some fancy tapping on the side of the table, lined up his shot and down the ball went into the corner pocket. I did a little cheerleader rah-rah thing and he turned on me with a MAJOR dirty look and made some comment under is breath. I asked what??? He said he just lost the game! =A0 I asked why, I don't know the rules, please explain what just happened? He said he called the side pocket! What a dummy he is! It was the most perfect straight shot into the corner pocket, obviously, and he made it so WHY would he have called the side pocket??? Men! I got outta there!

We went back to sit at the round table to chat. They were eating store bought banana bread. Out of boredom I read the label..... 310 calories per 2 slices and 190 of them are fat! I nearly fainted and crossed myself- thankful that I had resisted eating anything. No wonder Karen is a BIG girl! Sheesh! Then the inevitable question..... how had I lost my weight. I explained that I had literally starved myself for 11+ months and every day I am so hungry that I want to start gnawing on my arm. It's annoying how people want to lose but have no intention of making any changes in their habits to do so..... they just want it to disappear..... and seem to resent that you have! Change the subject- quick!

Clifford must have hung on my every word last week as he is well-prepared. He tells me his mama has two quilt tops she wants me to quilt for her! Uh-oh! =A0 I tell him I don't do that kind of quilting. He asks me if I'd do it special for his mama. No. He even knows to tell me that one is a Double Wedding Ring and starts explaining about how she cut the pieces out and sewed them together..... I mean he has done is homework and is prepared with conversational material to talk with me! It was quite touching. And he washed his hair too. (He is actually nice looking- once you get past the gut! LOL) I mention several people I know who do quilting and try my darndest to side track him. Like his eyeballs, he has a one-track mind. I finally derail him with specific names and the promise to write down some phone numbers. Whew! Close call!!!

They chatted on about the people they knew- who was sick, who was getting married, life growing up in the area, places they lived and have been, family gatherings, dancing a "jig" dance (???), butchering chickens (twisting their heads off???) and many things I had never heard of before. I realized that these folks have lived here all their lives and have a long history together. They know things I will never know and some things I don't even *want* to know (twisting their heads off???). Even tho they are very nice to me I will never truly fit in here- I am from a totally different world. I most likely will not go back again after my upcoming vacation. (Did I tell you I leave Sunday for ten days with my granddarlings in NH?)

So. That ends the short but sweet tale of The Four Season Singles Group and me.

Leslie, Clifford-less and Alone Once Again

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me- My dogs aren't my whole life.... they make my life whole.

RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!"

Reply to
The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me
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you I leave Sunday for ten days

Even if you never go back you will have provided material for the gossip mill...Have fun in NH!!

lisae

Reply to
Lisa Ellis

LOL!! So when you get back from NH, will you write a report on your meet and greet with LN?? This could be *very* itnertesting ... you have a way with words! He he ... PAT in VA/USA

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me wrote: ..... cut very long and funny report on club meeting .....

Reply to
Pat in Virginia

I'm thinking she should give Clifford your name and addy, Sandy. For quilting purposes, of course.

Leslie? Am I a granddarling? :P

Reply to
LN (remove NOSPAM)

We have been going crazy making a time to meet. The time I originally made to meet with her is my regular quilting day at my house. D'oh! She's alergic to cats and can't enter my house (Leslie, does this mean I should wash all the quilts I bring out for show and tell so you won't have any alergy probs?). Sigh... So I'm canceling my quilting day for that week cuz none of the other openings in her schedule are long enough!

And I had better behave, cuz I'm sure she WILL write about it all!

Reply to
LN (remove NOSPAM)

She had better! Little to no embellishment either! Diana

Reply to
Diana Curtis

That was a GREAT report! Thanks so much for making me smile multiple times! I can't wait to hear your travelogue about LN and NH and the granddarlings!

Elena in Tx, feeling much better now.

*do* qualify!!! And then there's me.

We were sitting at the large round table playing this card game... me with the eyeballs glued to my chest. This was an interesting experience. They do not take turns.... well, they kinda do, but they forget whose turn it is. Three of the people do not have the mental ability to play the game, so the people on both sides of them are arguing which cards they should be playing. Augda has figgered out that I usually slightly raise the card I will play next or I place it to the left, so she keeps peeking at my hand so she can plan her next play since she plays right after me. Why, I have no idea, since she nearly always passes so that she can help "Honey" with his hand. "Honey Freeman" gets a hand on his thigh and a "Honey, play *this* card*" comment. He beams, plays the card, and comments on what a great day/game/group this is.

Alex plays quietly and correctly after Freeman, then Carl plays loudly and aggressively. He does NOT like it when the cards are messy or someone puts a diamond on the hearts! Well, red on red is darn close for

*this* group!!! Then he wipes his dry face and comments on the heat again. Next, it's old Clifford who often "jumps" his turn.... if he has a *hot* card he's anxious to play, he'll sneak it out there any time he feels like it! Generally, they tend to ignore him and then just skip him when he's off daydreaming. I guess it all works out as he never seems to run out of cards first- which is how you win. Then on to Clifford Two. They can tell him to play the two of hearts and he can take it out of his hand, but he cannot place it on the hearts pile! I do not understand why he recognizes it in his hand, but cannot follow thru with the recognition..... maybe it's cuz his eyes are still glued to my chest? hmmmmmm.... Karen is usually so busy chattering away, it takes some time so get her attention to tell her it's her turn, so I've taken to nudging her arm. She always acts startled that it's her again already. Then my turn again..... with Augda peeking. It was exhausting! As they say- like herding cats to the bath! Each of us manages to win a few times except Augda. I think she finds winning to be un-ladylike. She is quite disapproving of my boisterous enthusiasm, but smiles on me with an air of condensation. This coming from a skinny little gal with a balding head and a pot belly with a "Honey" with dirty teeth and little ability to concentrate but then he *is* a dancing fool..... and all *I* have is Clifford...... and my "youth"! LOL

Karen was telling how they all had attended the dance at the Senior Center the previous Friday night and they all chattered on about who danced together, who sat where and what was offered to eat. It seems sitting by the trash can or by the restrooms are the most popular choices as everybody will be passing by there at some point- or at many, many points. It's a "see and be seen" thing! The competition for the men is really brutal at that age as the men are dying off and there is an excess of old ladies. The men are VERY aware of it and it is hilarious the way they take advantage!!! Karen mentioned that she had asked Young Clifford to dance several times and he refused her. Clifford looked me dead-on and said he only dances with his mama and with pretty ladies. Oh my Gawd! He's saving himself for ME!!!! Here's where I want to crawl under the table again. Carl makes a sound of sheer and utter disgust and heaves himself up and off to the men's room dragging his oxygen tank.

The card game has broken up and Skinny Don comes in. He helps himself to a slice of pizza- better food for game night than the sandwiches at the "potluck dinner" last week! Alex and Don decide to play some pool..... Alex can hardly walk from the stroke, so I'm wondering....... Young Clifford has a "crik" in his leg (don't ask- he was staring at me when he said it!!! OMG!) and needed to walk it off in the other room. I sat there and talked with Karen for a while then wandered into the pool room. They were down to the last few balls. I watched a few shots, but since I don't know much about the rules I was fairly lost. I *do* know that you are supposed to *hit* the white ball with the stick...... which Alex seldom managed to do. Sad. But he kept trying. When Don was down to the white ball and the eight ball he had a perfect shot to the corner pocket. He did some fancy tapping on the side of the table, lined up his shot and down the ball went into the corner pocket. I did a little cheerleader rah-rah thing and he turned on me with a MAJOR dirty look and made some comment under is breath. I asked what??? He said he just lost the game! I asked why, I don't know the rules, please explain what just happened? He said he called the side pocket! What a dummy he is! It was the most perfect straight shot into the corner pocket, obviously, and he made it so WHY would he have called the side pocket??? Men! I got outta there!

We went back to sit at the round table to chat. They were eating store bought banana bread. Out of boredom I read the label..... 310 calories per 2 slices and 190 of them are fat! I nearly fainted and crossed myself- thankful that I had resisted eating anything. No wonder Karen is a BIG girl! Sheesh! Then the inevitable question..... how had I lost my weight. I explained that I had literally starved myself for 11+ months and every day I am so hungry that I want to start gnawing on my arm. It's annoying how people want to lose but have no intention of making any changes in their habits to do so..... they just want it to disappear..... and seem to resent that you have! Change the subject- quick!

Clifford must have hung on my every word last week as he is well-prepared. He tells me his mama has two quilt tops she wants me to quilt for her! Uh-oh! I tell him I don't do that kind of quilting. He asks me if I'd do it special for his mama. No. He even knows to tell me that one is a Double Wedding Ring and starts explaining about how she cut the pieces out and sewed them together..... I mean he has done is homework and is prepared with conversational material to talk with me! It was quite touching. And he washed his hair too. (He is actually nice looking- once you get past the gut! LOL) I mention several people I know who do quilting and try my darndest to side track him. Like his eyeballs, he has a one-track mind. I finally derail him with specific names and the promise to write down some phone numbers. Whew! Close call!!!

They chatted on about the people they knew- who was sick, who was getting married, life growing up in the area, places they lived and have been, family gatherings, dancing a "jig" dance (???), butchering chickens (twisting their heads off???) and many things I had never heard of before. I realized that these folks have lived here all their lives and have a long history together. They know things I will never know and some things I don't even *want* to know (twisting their heads off???). Even tho they are very nice to me I will never truly fit in here- I am from a totally different world. I most likely will not go back again after my upcoming vacation. (Did I tell you I leave Sunday for ten days with my granddarlings in NH?)

So. That ends the short but sweet tale of The Four Season Singles Group and me.

Leslie, Clifford-less and Alone Once Again

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me- My dogs aren't my whole life.... they make my life whole.

RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!"

Reply to
Elena

As entertaining as the tales of the Four Seasons Singles Group have been, this is the one we're all really waiting for! What can we bribe you with, Leslie, for the full story of the NH meet-up?

Dee in LeRoy, NY

Reply to
DDM

Send a quilt and I'LL tell you the whole story!

Reply to
LN (remove NOSPAM)

This should be interesting- she has the gift of embellishment from all that crazy quilting. I seem to have a gift for the much, much longer post. Who will win the contest of the meet-up post? She'll get off to the quicker start.... I can't post till I get home on Monday night! Waaahhhh! She has an unfair advantage of getting the sympathy vote!!!

Leslie, The Underdog needs your vote!!! LOL

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me- My dogs aren't my whole life... they make my life whole.

RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!"

Reply to
The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me

tell you I leave Sunday for ten days

Reply to
Shelly

Ooh, you honey-stealer, you! How did it feel to be the younger woman? ROFL (I hope they weren't playing for money :-) Roberta in D

*do* qualify!!! And then there's me.

We were sitting at the large round table playing this card game... me with the eyeballs glued to my chest. This was an interesting experience. They do not take turns.... well, they kinda do, but they forget whose turn it is. Three of the people do not have the mental ability to play the game, so the people on both sides of them are arguing which cards they should be playing. Augda has figgered out that I usually slightly raise the card I will play next or I place it to the left, so she keeps peeking at my hand so she can plan her next play since she plays right after me. Why, I have no idea, since she nearly always passes so that she can help "Honey" with his hand. "Honey Freeman" gets a hand on his thigh and a "Honey, play *this* card*" comment. He beams, plays the card, and comments on what a great day/game/group this is.

Alex plays quietly and correctly after Freeman, then Carl plays loudly and aggressively. He does NOT like it when the cards are messy or someone puts a diamond on the hearts! Well, red on red is darn close for

*this* group!!! Then he wipes his dry face and comments on the heat again. Next, it's old Clifford who often "jumps" his turn.... if he has a *hot* card he's anxious to play, he'll sneak it out there any time he feels like it! Generally, they tend to ignore him and then just skip him when he's off daydreaming. I guess it all works out as he never seems to run out of cards first- which is how you win. Then on to Clifford Two. They can tell him to play the two of hearts and he can take it out of his hand, but he cannot place it on the hearts pile! I do not understand why he recognizes it in his hand, but cannot follow thru with the recognition..... maybe it's cuz his eyes are still glued to my chest? hmmmmmm.... Karen is usually so busy chattering away, it takes some time so get her attention to tell her it's her turn, so I've taken to nudging her arm. She always acts startled that it's her again already. Then my turn again..... with Augda peeking. It was exhausting! As they say- like herding cats to the bath! Each of us manages to win a few times except Augda. I think she finds winning to be un-ladylike. She is quite disapproving of my boisterous enthusiasm, but smiles on me with an air of condensation. This coming from a skinny little gal with a balding head and a pot belly with a "Honey" with dirty teeth and little ability to concentrate but then he *is* a dancing fool..... and all *I* have is Clifford...... and my "youth"! LOL

Karen was telling how they all had attended the dance at the Senior Center the previous Friday night and they all chattered on about who danced together, who sat where and what was offered to eat. It seems sitting by the trash can or by the restrooms are the most popular choices as everybody will be passing by there at some point- or at many, many points. It's a "see and be seen" thing! The competition for the men is really brutal at that age as the men are dying off and there is an excess of old ladies. The men are VERY aware of it and it is hilarious the way they take advantage!!! Karen mentioned that she had asked Young Clifford to dance several times and he refused her. Clifford looked me dead-on and said he only dances with his mama and with pretty ladies. Oh my Gawd! He's saving himself for ME!!!! Here's where I want to crawl under the table again. Carl makes a sound of sheer and utter disgust and heaves himself up and off to the men's room dragging his oxygen tank.

The card game has broken up and Skinny Don comes in. He helps himself to a slice of pizza- better food for game night than the sandwiches at the "potluck dinner" last week! Alex and Don decide to play some pool..... Alex can hardly walk from the stroke, so I'm wondering....... Young Clifford has a "crik" in his leg (don't ask- he was staring at me when he said it!!! OMG!) and needed to walk it off in the other room. I sat there and talked with Karen for a while then wandered into the pool room. They were down to the last few balls. I watched a few shots, but since I don't know much about the rules I was fairly lost. I *do* know that you are supposed to *hit* the white ball with the stick...... which Alex seldom managed to do. Sad. But he kept trying. When Don was down to the white ball and the eight ball he had a perfect shot to the corner pocket. He did some fancy tapping on the side of the table, lined up his shot and down the ball went into the corner pocket. I did a little cheerleader rah-rah thing and he turned on me with a MAJOR dirty look and made some comment under is breath. I asked what??? He said he just lost the game! I asked why, I don't know the rules, please explain what just happened? He said he called the side pocket! What a dummy he is! It was the most perfect straight shot into the corner pocket, obviously, and he made it so WHY would he have called the side pocket??? Men! I got outta there!

We went back to sit at the round table to chat. They were eating store bought banana bread. Out of boredom I read the label..... 310 calories per 2 slices and 190 of them are fat! I nearly fainted and crossed myself- thankful that I had resisted eating anything. No wonder Karen is a BIG girl! Sheesh! Then the inevitable question..... how had I lost my weight. I explained that I had literally starved myself for 11+ months and every day I am so hungry that I want to start gnawing on my arm. It's annoying how people want to lose but have no intention of making any changes in their habits to do so..... they just want it to disappear..... and seem to resent that you have! Change the subject- quick!

Clifford must have hung on my every word last week as he is well-prepared. He tells me his mama has two quilt tops she wants me to quilt for her! Uh-oh! I tell him I don't do that kind of quilting. He asks me if I'd do it special for his mama. No. He even knows to tell me that one is a Double Wedding Ring and starts explaining about how she cut the pieces out and sewed them together..... I mean he has done is homework and is prepared with conversational material to talk with me! It was quite touching. And he washed his hair too. (He is actually nice looking- once you get past the gut! LOL) I mention several people I know who do quilting and try my darndest to side track him. Like his eyeballs, he has a one-track mind. I finally derail him with specific names and the promise to write down some phone numbers. Whew! Close call!!!

They chatted on about the people they knew- who was sick, who was getting married, life growing up in the area, places they lived and have been, family gatherings, dancing a "jig" dance (???), butchering chickens (twisting their heads off???) and many things I had never heard of before. I realized that these folks have lived here all their lives and have a long history together. They know things I will never know and some things I don't even *want* to know (twisting their heads off???). Even tho they are very nice to me I will never truly fit in here- I am from a totally different world. I most likely will not go back again after my upcoming vacation. (Did I tell you I leave Sunday for ten days with my granddarlings in NH?)

So. That ends the short but sweet tale of The Four Season Singles Group and me.

Leslie, Clifford-less and Alone Once Again

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me- My dogs aren't my whole life.... they make my life whole.

RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!"

Reply to
Roberta Zollner

If you both post in your own styles we'll be the winners.

Dee in LeRoy, NY ( ready to compare stories)

Reply to
DDM

I'll send the quilt with the same blinding speed that I use churning out all the others.

Dee in LeRoy, NY ( I might be slow but I'm ahead of er...um... ok then...I'm just slow)

Reply to
DDM

hmmmm... good point. Ok.. embellish away! Diana

Reply to
Diana Curtis

You're not the only one!

Reply to
LN (remove NOSPAM)

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