Thank you all. Grandma is out of the hospital and back at the nursing home, but no hospice, by choice of my Aunt as the nursing home has services available. Paralyzed on one side and not recognizing anyone but she is being fed by the staff. From what I've seen the past several summers, the staff is very kind and attentive.
There is bleeding on the brain, not a stroke, and it will not end so only a matter of time. She's being kept comfortable which is good.
No, I can't really make it back there. At least not in any meaningful time. Alaska to Michigan is a days travel and then a three hour drive from wherever I was to fly into. I've decided that when I need to I will take a walk in the woods for and by myself. Talked with my sisters today via three-way call. One is saddened and dealing with it well considering she specializes in geriatrics and works at a senior center. The other is jaded and curt from issues in the family from last summer, with me mostly, and doesn't really care what I decide. Mom is dealing with memory issues of her own but doesn't care to see her mother in this state. Aunt has made "arrangements", whatever they may be, so I'm still in the dark on most things.
No matter what I decide I'll be damned if I do, damned if I don't. Being somewhat positive I'll be upholding my black sheep status in the family.
Families can be so difficult and sad to say I'm glad I'm thousands of miles away. Bert held me close in bed last night. Didn't talk, just held me tight. Taking deep breaths to get through this and the next two months of school and everything that is coming due.
Thanks for listening.
Steven Alaska