OT: Joke (philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity)

For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity:

  1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

  1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

  2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  1. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

  2. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

  1. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

  2. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

  1. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?

  2. Is there another word for synonym?

  1. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

  2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

  1. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice"?

  2. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

  1. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

  2. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

  1. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

  2. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

  1. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

  2. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

  1. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

  2. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
  3. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

  1. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

  2. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

  1. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

  2. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

  1. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

  2. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

  1. How is it possible to have a civil war?

  2. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

  1. If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

  1. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  1. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?

  2. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

  1. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

"One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young."

Reply to
LN (remove NOSPAM)
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My favorite is #36. We have lots of tourists. Polly

Reply to
Polly Esther

#24 made me laugh out loud! Thanks LN!

Laurie G.

LN (remove NOSPAM) wrote:

Reply to
Laurie G.

Hullo LN I think this is your funniest yet. I love them all! It will take several readings before I know which are my favourites. I have to say (s), because I know I'll never be able to pick just one! Thanks so much. . In article , "LN (remove NOSPAM)" writes

Reply to
Patti

So they can get government funding to help defray the costs. Now you know.

-georg

Reply to
georg

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