OT, just rambling a bit again

Jeanne It's okay to post what you did here. Perhaps having those things will allow you some understanding of the whole terrible mess. And some peace of mind. And I don't know that we are most total strangers here around the cyber quilting frame.

I pray the victim support lady can get some answers for you, and if they cannot accommodate you fully in the two weeks time span, that at least they can give you something. And the promise of more to come.

G> if you're new to rctq this wont mean a thing go you so feel free to move = to

thanks, Ginger. what i mean was that i've only met a handful of folks on here. so tho maybe you're not all total strangers, you're strangers in real life. not sure i could count those i've met. some at Houston, some where they live. some i had the pleasure of spending some time with them in their homes. just most of you i've never met in real life, i only know you from here.

i thot 2 weeks seemed a reasonable time as they only need pull the papers from their files and make copys. should be easy enough. i want the originals tho, i told her that. dont know if i'll have any more answers than the zilch i know now but he tossed most of what he'd ever written in his lifetime into the rubbish beforehand without our knowledge. the notes (yup, two, one was a rough draft i think, we found it in the bedroom rubbish bin on the night so police took both of them) were the last thing he wrote. i want them, dont know why but i do. i keep hoping i'll have one whole day without any tears but so far i've not had one in 13months + 1 day. j.

"Ginger in CA" wrote ... Jeanne It's okay to post what you did here. Perhaps having those things will allow you some understanding of the whole terrible mess. And some peace of mind. And I don't know that we are most total strangers here around the cyber quilting frame.

I pray the victim support lady can get some answers for you, and if they cannot accommodate you fully in the two weeks time span, that at least they can give you something. And the promise of more to come.

G> if you're new to rctq this wont mean a thing go you so feel free to move > to

Jeanne

It's so OK to post here! We are NOT total stragers! True, I might not know you if I bumped in to you on he street (but that's OK ; I hae a hard time remembering who a lot of people are that I bump into on the street), but we're cyberfriends! We know enough about eachother through the writing. Vent dear, it's good for the soul. I really hope that someone can give you the closure and peace that you need and deserve.

Claudia

Jeanne,

You are surrounded by friends eveytime you get on here. I have not been through what you have but my brother and his wife have and observing them in their grief back then was something I never want.

I truly hope you get your answers and the things you want. I too will pray for you.

I hope that that you can get the help you need from the victim support lady. Email is a good way to start - after all cyber-communication is how most of us got to know one another. Take care, Allison

J* wrote:

I'm glad you've taken this step forward, 'though I'm sure it couldn't have been easy. I hope the victim support advocate is able to accomplish what you feel needs to be done. I know it will never answer all the questions, but at least it would be something. I'm very sure I wouldn't have been able to do it in person for myself, either! WAY too hard.

CaroleD - Retired and loving it in the foothills of NW GA >^..^< My quilts, crafts, pets, and more -

Email! What a great idea, Jeanne! I much prefer cybercommunication lately myself, my brain and health being what they are lately. I hope it all gets done by mother's day for you, but even if not, I hope it all gets done. You are absolutely right. You need to see everything, every last thing. Keep insisting on it. And we are always here for you, girl.

Karen, Queen of Squishies

(((((Hugs))))) I feel much the same way about people here. They don't feel like strangers, even though I'll probably never meet most of them face to face. Good luck with your request, hope that support lady comes through for you. And I really hope having these things will bring you some peace. Roberta in D

I sure hope you are able to find some answers jeanne. Many folks here consider you an old friend. As Polly would say we hold you in our hearts. Hugs, Taria

Ramble on! We're here to listen and send our moral support. You've been through a lot in the past year. Hopefully you will finally be able to get some closure on a lot of things. All of our prayers and hugs are with you! ME-Judy

I love you my dear friend. You deserve to obtain whatever information they have for you, and I sincerely hope they comply with the Mother's Day deadline. The fact that it's taken this long is ridiculous. Whether or not I understand your pain is immaterial...just know that I love you, and am here for you waiting with open arms, whether in cyberspace or in my home (which you know is always open for you). You are in my heart always!

Jeanne, I'm proud of you. You moved a big step forward and I know it wasn't easy. Time really doesn't heal all wounds, but sometimes the burden of those wounds becomes a little bit lighter and allows us to start walking again. Of course you need to understand. It's your right, and it's not odd or morbid in the least. I wish I lived close enough to be your 'real life' friend. Just know that my online shoulder is always here.

Hugs, Sunny

Many of us (inc. myself) are guilting of rambling here on RCTQ!! You've had a rough year and I sure hope you get the answers you need.

-Irene

i sent the email off late friday afternoon so i really dont expect any reply til monday morning at the earliest. two more days of tension for me. then everyday for the past 13months has been filled with tension as i kept trying to get myself to make that call and just couldnt. the email was my only option and i finally did it. even that was hard to write so it was somewhat coherent. we'll see how i get on come monday. thanks to all of you who replied here. it means bunches to know you still care how i'm doing. not that i gave you a choice when i post my woes. still, you didnt have to read it or reply and you did. thank you for keeping me in your hearts. love, hugz and kissez to all of you. jeanne xoxoxoxo

"J*" wrote ... if you're new to rctq this wont mean a thing go you so feel free to move to the next post about quilting.

everyday for the past year i've woken up with good intentions of calling the central police station to get the things returned to us that were taken by them on the night back in march last year.

Hugs and love right back to you, Jeanne. You are in my heart, and there you will stay. Thank goodness I'm not trying to keep you in my poor, meat-grinder of a mind. My heart is a good bit stronger and has more ability to keep things in place. ;)

Sunny

Jeanne,

You can come here and tell us anything because you know we care. Email is easier for some of us than trying to talk to someone on the phone.

It does seem that it would make it a little bearable if we understood why someone we loved so much could do such a thing. In my experience those questions have not been answered and have never gone away. The only one who could possibly have had the answers is gone and maybe he didn't even know himself. It never has stopped hurting (for me) but has become easier with time, easier to bear and easier to stop trying to figure out the answers.

Not my son but my brother, younger by 2 years.

You are in my thoughts and have been often this past year or so,

Judie

Your advocate may not have a chance to reply Monday morning, Jeanne. Lots of folks (for unknown reasons) decide that 'first thing Monday morning, I'm going to' and she may not have a chance to breathe or read her email. We are glad that your have been able to begin by sending an email, and glad that you realized that you had her email address. It is a very big step in healing. Not in getting over it. Not in forgetting. You are suffering the worst grief that anyone ever has. We know. We hold you close in our hearts and up in our prayers. Polly

Judie you are so right when you say he may not even have known himself. coming at this as a survivor i am not sure how much to say but do know ; the window in ones mind is sometimes so fogged up one can only see the dark. Perception not reality. I am so very very sorry for your hurt. Ruby

with no email this morning, i sent another 'test' of sorts with a reply request. then nothing so i sent one via their website to whomever does those. i got a standard 'got your email and will reply within 48hrs' reply. argh. then got the reply request reply in the afternoon. then finally an email from Helen arrived here about 4pm but i didnt check and find it til just a few minutes ago. replied right away. Helen asked if she could give my request and info to her supervisor as she has a better working relationship with both police and coroners office. frankly i could now care less how does it but get it done. the inquest officer i spoke to the one time all those many months back knew full well i wanted all the stuff once he was done with them. i told Helen anyone can do it as long as it gets done by mothers day. also said policeman knew and i shouldnt have had to do the asking for it after all this time. i'm not impressed i gotta say. even the victims support website says that all taken items will be returned once the investigation is finished. so why am i still waiting and have to do the asking to get it back. that really sucks. none of this is easy for those of us in the situation, its not right and really bad practice. lets see how long it takes them now. j.

"J*" wrote ... if you're new to rctq this wont mean a thing go you so feel free to move to the next post about quilting.

everyday for the past year i've woken up with good intentions of calling the central police station to get the things returned to us that were taken by them on the night back in march last year. as well as any papers sent from Uni to the police after they asked for them. i'd asked Uni but they would not send me anything so i asked the inquest officer to do it. we also never saw the blood screen report which came after the final autopsy. i also wanted to know if they'd done anything about having the wording changed on the student loan papers that loans dont have to be paid back if you die. this was highlighted on the papers we found afterwards. seemed to me he used that info to give himself an excuse or something. i dont see why anyone should have to go thru this ever again cuz of those words.

i've been trying to gear myself up to make that phone call everyday but never could bring myself to make the call. today for whatever reason i recalled i had the email addy from the victim support lady. i just sent her an email asking if she could ask the officer all those things for me. i just cant bring myself to talk to some total stranger on the phone about all this. it still hurts so much. you're probably thinking being able to type it to most total strangers here works but a phone call doesnt, how odd. sorry but unless you've had this experience in your lifetime you'll probably never understand. i asked if they can get it done before mothers day. somehow seemed like a reasonable timing request...2 weeks away. i dont know if any of what they've got will be of any use to me but i need to see it all. i still dont understand a bloody thing about what happened. i still need to understand all i can about it. thanks for being here and letting me post about all this. all my real life friends moved overseas before last year and i needed to tell someone. jeanne