OT - Mom in Fla needs you again!

Well, I knew it was too quiet. I just found out that mom had a mini-stroke on Wednesday, a TIA actually. She went to her regular doctor on Tuesday and everything went well, it was a routine visit. The next day she couldn't lift her leg off the couch. She went to one of these walk-in clinics because she didn't think she could get a appt at her regular doctor. The walk-in dr said she had arthritis in her knee, gave her scripts for Celebrex and Darvoset and set her home. Her primary dr did not know about this. My sister and I did not like the sound of this and got her into her regular doctor today. He diagnosed a TIA and admiitted her on the spot. He said she is a walking stroke! Of course, my soon-to-be DIL was there and I instructed her to remove the meds and keep them with all her other pills. Mom has a habit of forgetting she took her pills and takes them again. She overdosed 3 times this year doing that, I didn't want her doing that with Darvoset. She called me and ripped me up one side and down the other. How dare I, she said. What if I am in pain. Are you, I asked. And she said no. So I said, So what are we arguing about. We aren't arguing, she said and hung up on me! She is now in the hospital and should stay there for a few days. The dr wants her to go to rehab but I don't know if she'll agree. She can't live on her own anymore but refuses to move in with my sister or me or have a live in nurse. She wants to take her own pills. That will only be a matter of time before she overdoses again. Or falls, or has a stroke in her sleep and not be able to get to a phone......... I shutter at the possibilities. I just don't know what to do anymore. She is competent so she can refuse anything. It just shouldn't be this hard.

Anyway, if you have a prayer tucked away for a rainy day, I would appreciate it if you would send it moms way. She could use them right now. I just want her to be ok..........

Reply to
AliceW
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Reply to
julia sidebottom

Alice, is there anything I can do here in Ocala? Sympathy and wishes for solutions for all concerned.

-- Dot (Flo Cala) Delete "whome" in reply address.

mini-stroke

couldn't

again. She

other. How

Reply to
Flo Cala

Prayers on the way! And ((((((HUGS)))))) all round!

Reply to
Kate Dicey

Thanks, Julia. The dr did say she would recover from this episode but that she is a good candidate for a major stroke. The problem right now is that mom is very aware that she is losing her independence and is fighting everyone tooth and nail. I don't think it would have been as bad if she lost the feeling in an arm, but not being able to walk really hit home with her. She has now been admitted but we don't know how long she will stay in the hospital. Although the dr has said he would like her to go to rehab afterwards, we don't think she agree to that. One day at a time. Thanks all for the prayers. Will keep you posted.

Reply to
AliceW

mini-stroke

Reply to
Sherry Starr

The adult child does NOT impose their judgement on the aging parent. Instead, they help the parent make an informed decision. Losing one's independence, home, and treasures is the most frightening thing in the world. The first impulse is to dig in one's heels and resist to the death. Try helping her explore the options available in the community for assisted living, part time in-home care, etc. With in-home care the medication problem is handled quite nicely. Her Doctor, hospital social worker and others are willing to help. Carolyn

Reply to
carolynbowers

She cannot afford assisted living but would refuse to go anyway and refuses to have "strangers" in the house. We've tried that, she refused to open the door. We have meals on wheels coming but she refuses to eat the meals. She refuses to move to NJ to live with my sister or me. We are certainly not imposing our judgement on her except where her safety is concerned, then I believe it is our duty to do so. I understand how frightened she is of losing her independence and what is looming in the future for her, but we are trying very hard to work with what little flexibility she is willing to exercise. We have been in touch with social services (my sister is in social services in NJ so knows the ropes), and we have looked into having someone come in on a daily basis. They charge $105 per day. That's $735 per week or $3255 per month. She cannot afford that, neither can we and insurance doesn't cover it. Plus she refuses to allow anyone in. Trust me, we've been working on this for the last two years. Our level of frustration matches her fear of losing her independence. We're doing the best we can with what she allows.

Reply to
AliceW

My philosophy is if you can't remember what it was, assume it was a 5 star meal. Sure, it probably wasn't, but you don't *know* that, do you? At least this way you can enjoy the experience without the calories! ROFLOL

Reply to
Kathy Applebaum

Reply to
Butterfly

Prayin' here for you, and for her. What is her name?

Karen, Queen of Squishies

Reply to
Queen of Squishies

Margaret. Thanks so much!

Reply to
AliceW

Prayers for your mom coming from Ohio..Michele

Reply to
witchylady914

Would Margaret like to know about us? I mean, would she like to get a card or something in the mail?

-- Lady Cynthia, Royal Musicmaker

Reply to
Musicmaker

It's a sweet offer, but mom is a very private person and I think it would upset her more to know I've been sharing her situation with you. She never even shared with us that there is a family history of heart and high blood pressure problems. Only found out when my brother had a heart attack at 44. She thinks illnesses are defects and reflect on her negatively so she never discusses them. She would love prayers though! In this case, what she doesn't know MAY help her!

Reply to
AliceW

Oh, I forgot - she does know about all of you! I talk about you all the time to her - all good stuff to be sure!

Reply to
AliceW

Nell, thanks for taking the time to respond. Mom uses these pill boxes and they only work if you remember what day it is. Her overdoses occured when she was using a pill box. We now have all the meds out of her house and we have someone who fills them for 3 days only and brings them to her. This has been working so far.

Reply to
AliceW

Just an update - Mom is now in the hospital getting probed and prodded to see what is going on. She is not being very cooperative and wants to go home. We are trying to convince her that she is better off there. She has a private room with a wonderful view, they cook for her and help her bathe. She can watch TV all day or read or nap. She has her own phone as well. We'll talk to the doctor today so we may know more by days end.

Reply to
AliceW

Well - at least you'll find out SOMETHING finally? Hope the drs. figure it out.

-- Lady Cynthia, Royal Musicmaker

Reply to
Musicmaker

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