OT:prayers needed

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I've been receiving texts from a friend in UK, whose DH has had a
breakdown & is now accusing her of murder, drug dealing, prostitution
etc.  At the moment it is being dealt with in the courts and with
solicitors, but someone has to prove that he has had a breakdown and
that she hasn't committed all these offences.

I find it very confusing as she doesn't have a landline or internet
connection at the moment, so I only get little updates on my phone by
sms.  Having not spoken to her in ages, and I know that he has had a
breakdown many years ago, I just find it strange that anyone is
listening to these accusations, unless there is a nugget of truth in it,
but surely not.

I don't know what to think, my last message from her said that they were
both to be assessed by a psychiatrist.  They have both been under an
awful lot of stress for the past 3 years, failed business, lost their
house and ended up living in a field in a caravan with 3 kids, because
he wouldn't accept help from the government.  So about a month ago she
left him and got help from the local government who have housed her and
since then he has apparently written over 200 pages of accusations and
so her nightmare has begun.  I know that he would feel a failure because
his wife has gone elsewhere for help, but they couldn't continue the way
they were.

I suppose what I am asking for is for prayers for both of them and a
speedy resolution to all of this for them.  I couldn't believe it when I
received the 1st text, still can't i suppose, but i want to be a
supportive friend but i don't know what to say and somehow it is just so
much more difficult when our only point of contact is sms or a letter in
the post, which takes so long.  I've contemplated calling her DM, but
not sure how she would react by a stranger calling and asking after her
daughter as they have quite a strained relationship.

If you have read this far, thanks, just needed to get this all out!

Janner
France

Re: OT:prayers needed


Prayers are on their way for a speedy and correct solution to  your friend's
problem.  Also for you.
Barbara in SC



Re: OT:prayers needed


Janner, sometimes all we can do is hold someone to our hearts, say a
prayer, and then turn it over to God, Universe, karma ... whatever it
is you trust to deal with matters too big to hold in your own hands.
Seems to me you have gone above and beyond. I will say a prayer for
your friend (and for the record, a 200 page accusation, that's usually
a tip-off to the authorities that they're dealing with a Uni-bomber
type) and commend her to the safe keeping of Providence. I hope you
can do the same, for your peace of mind.

Hugs,
Sunny

Re: OT:prayers needed


Thanks for all your advice, my gut instinct is that he isn't very well.
  I just pray for their sake it is all resolved soon.  Thanks for the
prayers.

Janner
France

Re: OT:prayers needed


A good listener is a good friend, you being there for her should help.
Good thoughts on their way.


On Wed, 12 May 2010 22:01:54 +0200, Janner

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Re: OT:prayers needed


On 12/05/2010 19:04, Janner wrote:
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What a nightmare for them, and a worry for you.  Prayers are on the way.


--
Kate  XXXXXX  R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
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Re: OT:prayers needed


oh dear me, Jan,
does indeed sound as if the dh has lost a few marbles along the way.
this could take some time to sort out but i'm sure it will in the end.
just keep being there to read her txts and respond with kindness and
understanding.
she just needs someone to understands her stress.
doesnt seem there is much else you can do.
hugz all around,
j.

"Janner"  wrote ...
I've been receiving texts from a friend in UK, whose DH has had a
breakdown & is now accusing her of murder, drug dealing, prostitution
etc.  At the moment it is being dealt with in the courts and with
solicitors, but someone has to prove that he has had a breakdown and
that she hasn't committed all these offences.

I find it very confusing as she doesn't have a landline or internet
connection at the moment, so I only get little updates on my phone by
sms.  Having not spoken to her in ages, and I know that he has had a
breakdown many years ago, I just find it strange that anyone is
listening to these accusations, unless there is a nugget of truth in it,
but surely not.

I don't know what to think, my last message from her said that they were
both to be assessed by a psychiatrist.  They have both been under an
awful lot of stress for the past 3 years, failed business, lost their
house and ended up living in a field in a caravan with 3 kids, because
he wouldn't accept help from the government.  So about a month ago she
left him and got help from the local government who have housed her and
since then he has apparently written over 200 pages of accusations and
so her nightmare has begun.  I know that he would feel a failure because
his wife has gone elsewhere for help, but they couldn't continue the way
they were.

I suppose what I am asking for is for prayers for both of them and a
speedy resolution to all of this for them.  I couldn't believe it when I
received the 1st text, still can't i suppose, but i want to be a
supportive friend but i don't know what to say and somehow it is just so
much more difficult when our only point of contact is sms or a letter in
the post, which takes so long.  I've contemplated calling her DM, but
not sure how she would react by a stranger calling and asking after her
daughter as they have quite a strained relationship.

If you have read this far, thanks, just needed to get this all out!

Janner
France



Re: OT:prayers needed


Oh, Janner, prayers for them and for you. It's so hard to have people
you care about at a distance, and not being able to help or even see
what's going on.

--Heidi

http://www.flickr.com/photos/32113973@N05 /


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Re: OT:prayers needed


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My 2p's-worth: paranoia is untreatable.  Don't expect any medical
intervention to do a damn thing to affect the DH's actions beyond
maybe providing a very brief respite.  He will go on and on and on
and on and on with these bizarre accusations for the rest of his
life, even from a cell in Broadmoor.

She needs to get a good lawyer and disappear where he can't find
her, ever.

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