I've officially entered my love/hate stage of the holidays.
DBrother 2 has sent no less than 3 email messages telling the entire family Xmas will be celebrated at his house (Chicago suburbs) on Xmas Day. I understand why this plan appeals to him.
A) he'll have his son, DNephew 1 with him this year, B) he won't have to drag his son away from his Xmas presents and down to my parents, C) he gets to host Xmas at his house every year anyway, just usually on Xmas eve instead (I think a lot of times to accomodate his ex-wife and her family).
But this year DSis will be visiting my parents from out of state with her family (DBIL and 3 DNephews, including a 2 month old). I guess I wrongly assumed we'd be at my parents.
I know it's selfish, but I don't want to do this at all this year. If we go to Chicago suburbs, it means we'll have to visit David's family. Which should be fine, except, they can never agree on a plan. The last several years we've gone to great pains to get gifts for at least his young nephews. We get no acknowledgement of the gifts. Most of the time we are ignored by most of the people in his family. They'll maybe say hi to us when they arrive, but don't include us in any conversation after that. I can't suggest this to David without upsetting him, but I honestly feel like they want us there only so they don't have to feel guilty about ignoring or running out on his stepmother who has speech and mobility problems; plus the extra gifts. Plus, there's never any food there. Maybe a plate of crackers and cheese. So this year, we'd be there on Xmas Eve and maybe we'd get crackers and few slices of cheese to eat all day.
Xmas Day would be a DBro2's. Again, it would be nothing but finger food. And from past experience likely nothing would be open either Xmas Eve or Xmas Day where we could get a real meal before or after the obligatory visits.
We'd also have to pay for a hotel for at least 2 nights. And for the past several years, every time we go to Chicago 'burbs for Xmas the weather has been lousy for the 3-4 hour drive up.
DBro1 is fine with whatever apparently. DSis says she doesn't care it's up to Mom and Dad who haven't weighed in, but will probably agree to whatever DBro2 wants.
Can't help feeling it would just be so much more convient for us if we could do Xmas at my parents this year and do an "up and back" trip to see D's parents later in the week when we could take them out somewhere for a meal. We'd only have to drive an hour on Xmas Day, so could probably get by without needing a hotel room. I know, from past experience, that my Mom would find beds in her house for DBrother1, DBrother2, and DNephew. (She'd probably put all the kids except the baby in one room); DSis, DBIL, and baby in another; one DBrother in the basement and the other in the 4th Bedroom. There wouldn't be any room at the inn for David and I, but with only an hour each way, we'd be fine just driving back and forth from here to my Mom's house.
I'd love to say to everyone, nope we're staying home this year, you know where we live if you want to see us, we'll ship your loot to you. And while that would make me feel great short-term, long term it would just open up a world of much bigger problems.
So I'm going to have to muster up a cheerful and gracious response since David and I long ago agreed that I deal with my crazy family and he deals with his.