Talking Centipede Christmas Joke
.......Christmas was coming and a single man decided that his life would be more exciting if he shared it with a pet.
He went to the pet shop and told the owner that he was hoping to find an unusual pet. After some discussion, he decided to buy a talking centipede (100-legged bug) which came with a little white box to use as a house.
He took the box home and found the perfect place to keep his new pet .. later, he realized that it might be a good idea to take his new friend to Christmas Eve church service with him .... he asked his new friend in the box "Would you like to go to church with me tonight? I promise you that we'll have a good time outside in the snow - a White Christmas after all" No answer from the box........this bothered him a little so he asked again "How about going to church with me tonight to receive blessings for Christmas?"
Still no answer from his new pal in the box so he waited a few minutes more and thought about the situation some more. Then he put his face up against the box and yelled "HEY IN THERE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH AND LEARN ABOUT THE NATIVITY?"
Finally, a little voice could be heard from inside the box, "I HEARD YOU THE FIRST f********** TIME. I'M PUTTING ON MY SNOW BOOTS"