The Annual Awful Christmas Jokes

This is such fun. I think Jo and Jenx are ready and everyone else who's willing to toss some real corn our way. Polly

Why did the Three Wise Men drive big red trucks?

because they were coming from afar.

Reply to
Polly Esther
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The talking centipede joke has become Polly's favourite one this year: Enjoy, jennellh

......Christmas was coming and a single man decided that his life would be more exciting if he shared it with a pet.

He went to the pet shop and told the owner that he was hoping to find an unusual pet. After some discussion, he decided to buy a talking centipede (100-legged bug) which came in a little white box to use as a house.

He took the box home and found the perfect place to keep his new pet .. later, he realized that it might be a good idea to take his new friend to Christmas Eve church service with him .... he asked his new friend in the box "Would you like to go to church with me tonight? I promise you that we'll have a good time outside in the snow - a White Christmas after all" No answer from the box........this bothered him a little so he asked again "How about going to church with me tonight to receive blessings for Christmas?"

Still no answer from his new pal in the box so he waited a few minutes more and thought about the situation some more. Then he put his face up against the box and yelled "HEY IN THERE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH AND LEARN ABOUT THE NATIVITY?"

Finally, a little voice could be heard from inside the box, "I HEARD YOU THE FIRST f********** TIME. I'M PUTTING ON MY SNOW BOOTS"

Reply to
Jennifer in Ottawa

LOVE IT!! Let the *reindeer* games begin!!

Nana.......Had Enough sadness recently .....need a little Christmas NOW!!

......Christmas was coming and a single man decided that his life would be more exciting if he shared it with a pet.

He went to the pet shop and told the owner that he was hoping to find an unusual pet. After some discussion, he decided to buy a talking centipede (100-legged bug) which came in a little white box to use as a house.

He took the box home and found the perfect place to keep his new pet .. later, he realized that it might be a good idea to take his new friend to Christmas Eve church service with him .... he asked his new friend in the box "Would you like to go to church with me tonight? I promise you that we'll have a good time outside in the snow - a White Christmas after all" No answer from the box........this bothered him a little so he asked again "How about going to church with me tonight to receive blessings for Christmas?"

Still no answer from his new pal in the box so he waited a few minutes more and thought about the situation some more. Then he put his face up against the box and yelled "HEY IN THERE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH AND LEARN ABOUT THE NATIVITY?"

Finally, a little voice could be heard from inside the box, "I HEARD YOU THE FIRST f********** TIME. I'M PUTTING ON MY SNOW BOOTS"

Reply to
Nana.Wilson

ok, this one goes to work with me! I have taken Polly's each year with the "afar" punchline. thanks,

G> The talking centipede joke has become Polly's favourite one this

Reply to
Ginger in CA

Reply to
Nana.Wilson

We are missing a couple at least. The last time I heard from Jo in Scotland, she was letting Tristan feed himself some pumpkin pie. I suppose she's busy cleaning up the both of them. Do you all remember what it was like when a little fellow decided he could handle a spoon by himself?

"Nana.Wilson" Sent this to DH. I was just trying to get him to hurry up & he replied

Reply to
Polly Esther

In Russia there lived a man named Rudolf. He and his wife had several children and, one day while getting everyone dressed and out to school, Rudolf mentioned to his wife that it was raining and the kids needed their coats and boots. His wife said to him that he was wrong and it was actually snowing. Rudolf insisted it was raining and his wife insisted it was snowing. This went on for several minutes until Rudolf settled it by looking out the window again, and saying to his wife....

"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

Reply to
Jo Gibson

In Russia there lived a man named Rudolf. He and his wife had several children and, one day while getting everyone dressed and out to school, Rudolf mentioned to his wife that it was raining and the kids needed their coats and boots. His wife said to him that he was wrong and it was actually snowing. Rudolf insisted it was raining and his wife insisted it was snowing. This went on for several minutes until Rudolf settled it by looking out the window again, and saying to his wife....

"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

Reply to
Jo Gibson

Third Sunday of Advent and the jokes are here!

Wonderful >g< . In message , Jo Gibson writes

Reply to
Pat S

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