This is too funny not to repost. Anyone know where Val is? If she is lucking I hope she is ok. Taria
The newlywed's first Thanksgiving dinner in their new home.
Monday before Thanksgiving phone call: Dinner is at 2 Mom, DW and MIL will pick you up about noon. Would you like me to make pies and those Parker House Rolls you love? That would be great Mom! You got it, I'll have eggs left over (I seldom eat eggs) how about a plate of deviled eggs? Oh wow! we love your deviled eggs, if you feel like doing that it would be really great! Great!
Thursday morning dawns cold but bright and sunny.... I had carefully boxed for transport.....1 Jack Daniels chocolate fudge pecan pie, one pungkin pie, one plate of deviled eggs made from the 16 remaining eggs (dozen eggs, BOGO @ QFC), left room for last minute into the oven before ETA of pick up, one plate of smoked salmon/cream cheese/dill in fillo pockets...we refer to these as 'hoovey doovies'.
11:30-ish phone call....I'm just pulling fillo pockets from the oven. MIL over slept but as soon as she swings by here to pick up DW they will be on their way to pick you up....(so much for noon, MIL lives 45 miles south of DIL, I am 35 miles north).My transport finally arrives shortly before 2pm with the announcement that dinner is running a little late.........no problem, I made two big platters of hoovey doovies ;)
As we arrive and my "sherpas' are packing me and the goodies into the house I am greeted by 2 large, friendly Rottweilers (The Ladies, Ruby & Maude, they are "family" too ya know, MIL's dogs go everywhere with her), one 90 pound *very* friendly white lab wearing a satellite dish that can receive
237 channels (Abby had eyelid surgery), one new Corgi puppy who seems to be resistant to potty training and two humongous long haired orange tabby cats who scoff quietly at the whole commotion.....and equally friendly greetings from those who arrived thinking dinner was actually going to be at TWO and I am comfortably tucked into the recliner. People are now circling the hoovey doovies like buzzards honing in on road kill, said people are being circled by dogs with the same agenda. Would you like a drink? GAWD YES.....a double......I'm soooooo glad I chose to wear black suede slack as all the dogs seem to really love me best and the cats' preferred perch is the back and arm of the recliner long ago dubbed "Mom's Throne" during festive gatherings.5:gawd knows what o'clock...announcement shouted from the kitchen.....Dinner will be a *little* late (no sh*t)....I keep smiling and contributing to witty chatter and holding my glass up for refills....No problem, we have lots of hoovey doovies (and liquor, the trick is not to get soused but judiciously practice controlled consumption and stay comfortably numb, like a mild sedative on a slow drip)......my slacks, by this time, look like Chewbacca should make Rogaine commercials and the hoovey doovey platters (six in all) are emptying fast......comments about spoiling appetites have ceased, all the deviled eggs have disappeared.
8:45 pm...DINNER'S READY!!.....(boutdamnedtime).......we all gather at the table, jockeying for position and get seated......we give thanks (boy, do WE GIVE THANKS).......and as I survey the bounty I innocently ask...."Did you forget to bring out the turkey, dear?"Little problem........"we" forgot to put the turkey in the oven........How the hell do you forget to put an 18 pound turkey in the oven on Thanksgiving Day???? (screamed silently in my head, not audibly, smile frozen in place)......this was greeted by about two heartbeats of stunned silence and then a chorus of 'there's plenty of everything else, we won't go hungry" and various other positive 'no problem' comments as dishes are being passed. Jovial story telling, table cleared, comments on deliciousness of all food (carefully staying away from all referrals to turkey), deserts were devoured with appropriate variations of 'screw the diet' comments and then mass exodus.....house is quiet except for the humming of dishwasher on round three and Little Green Machine on recon mission over the carpet where new puppy "leaked".
By about 3am only me, DS, DDIL, snoozing Abby, new puppy who thankfully doesn't leak during deep sleep and large cats (having never moved from their stations on the recliner) are in the house.....the aftermath clean up is done, turkey was put in the oven before I was tucked into their vehicle for the ride home......the roasted garlic mashed potatoes were outstanding even with no gravy.......I think I know where Taria could get some of that turkey she longs for.
A turkey in the oven is worth two forgotten on the back porch.
Val