how do you tell her ? about her Non fitting style

I have an aquaintance who wears non fitting her style. Everytime i see her, it is a pity to the eye, [not a matter of taste at all], she buys clothes that COST A LOT ,,, but i keep wondering why the shop keepers don`t tell her to take different more fitting clothes,,, ? She could have looked Much better in another style ,,,, I tried once and got an unkind answer, Lately another aquaintance [who didn`t know i tried as well ] told her bluntly that she should change her style ,,,, and got flamed ,,, So i see her , and close my mouth ,,, mirjam

Reply to
mirjam
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Rather than 'That is wrong on you', tell her 'That's ok, but why not try this? Just put it on and se... WOW YOU look fantastic!'

She may have some hidden reason for hiding her light under a bushel. Treat the whole matter gently.

Reply to
Kate XXXXXX

I've developed a pretty keen eye for what does and doesn't suit my wife. My favoured comment is 'Well, it shows you have a sense of humour!'

Reply to
The Wanderer

This reminds me , when i am asked [ as curator and artist ] in public to say something about some art :" i have never seen anything like that before !!!" They love it !!! and i mirjam

Reply to
mirjam

Thank you Kate !! i do like to Compliment freinds and colleagues [and even strangers ] when i think something is nice, but this one is Touchy ,,,, mirjam

Reply to
mirjam

How very diplomatic! :)

Reply to
Kate XXXXXX

Thank you Kate , the only time i can be `undiplomatic` , is when i curate an exhibition , during the Prepration period, than I CAN REFUSE any art piece, if i think it isn`t Fit to be part of the exhibition ,,, Notwhen i visit an exhibition , and it is already displayed. mirjam

Reply to
mirjam

Oh, that's good! (Writing it down to remember.)

Others I've heard, and used: "Isn't that special!" "That's truly unique!"

Reply to
Pogonip

"Oh, how INTERESTING!" "You must have found that in a specialty shop!" "That's truly one-of-a-kind!"

Beverly

Reply to
BEI Design

Mirjam--

I often wonder what else is at play here...for example, for the last several years, i've been VERY heavy. I've recently lost 40 lbs, and while i have a ways to go, i have dropped a few sizes. I'm fortunate that my 14 year old daughter (who seems to think she is the final answer on fashioin!) will say to me "mom, that is just too big. you look homeless"...while i look in the mirror and see the same person. I finally bought a few pairs of jeans that fit, and some simple tops, and the change is immediate.

is it possibley the same for your friend? has she gained/lost weight? changed shape? perhaps, she looks in the mirror and sees something that we don't!

betsey (oh, i like that color! is always a good line!)

Reply to
betsey

Thanks. (Writing furiously to get it all down.)

Reply to
Pogonip

"Wow, that must have been REALLY EXPENSIVE!" (Riiight)

"That color is perfect! (Not sayin' what it's perfect FOR!)

"I envy your ability to wear ________!" (I wouldn't be caught dead in it)

"My mother has that same ______!" (This one's a real killer)

Beverly

Reply to
BEI Design

singerlady.reno.nv.us.earth.milky-way.comhttp://members.tripod.com/~bernardschopen/Joanne ,,, hahahha i know those as well ,:>:>:>:>:>thank you mirjam

Reply to
mirjam

Beverly !!! join the club !!! mirjam

Reply to
mirjam

Thank you Betsy , i have thought about the points , you brought up. And some could part of the answer. But i am not in a position , to analize why people do wear this or that [ if it not a religious rule or choice]. I just look , have this inner feeling that , a change or two might do good , but i don`t feel i really should speak up , i might upset or insult her/or for that matter other people who dress up in those ways....It is also a matter of taste ??? It is a dillema , i am thinking and pondering seriously about . mirjam

Reply to
mirjam

BEVERLY ,, now you made me laugh , and i am going to surprise you [i hope] I do my own sewing , knitting , crocheting etc, i like skirts shirts dresses, very much my own style .... And still i can see i make those little changes that make it `contemporary`, [quite some people tell me i am Trendy , which is not 100% . Ps i keep joking that i have `an aritistic allowance to dress as i like :>:>:>] thus i am sometimes on the recieving end of such remarks ,,,, Which i take with a pinch of salt and big smiles....

If this comes from somebody who knows me [and my own sewing] Thank you for the compliment !!!! If it is somebody who doesn`t know me , i might joke [depends on the circumstances] It is from a very special Boutique !!! I must tell here that YEARS ago , my hasband and his work colleagues were invited to the President`s house , in Jerushalayim , we got a card with instructions to dress up formarly, i called and asked waht they meant exactly [it was at midday ] ... And here i was we were a young couple with young children , i went to a shop that sold such clothes ,,, it was way over my budget,, thus i thought about it. Found a wonderful striped cotton it had blue, gray lilac light blue, stripes some were coarse, some were delicate and flat,,, [ in fact it was an upholstery cloth meant for mattresses] . I sewed this it into a ankle long skirt. To this i sewed myself a White Peasant shirt , gathered around the neck with elastic , and i also put elastic at the ends of the short sleeves. And thus i appeared in the ceremony. The Wife of the Than president the late Nina Katzier was known for her Chic,,,, when were were introduced to her , she looked at me and beamed , I love your clothes , later she asked me twice ,. where i bought them , i admited to her, they were my own creation. She told me i had Parisian Chic !!! esp since i dressed as it fitted my shape, and the right way colour shape etc for the occasion. So you see ,, the above remark might ,be a good one !!!!

that is one i never heard !!!!!probably my colours aren`t ever That perfect :>:>:>:>

Aha ,, that one is easy ,,,,, : And i am facinated by your choices!!!!!

hahahhaha i got this one once in a bit different version,,,, 'I got "you remind me of my mother -she used to wear such clothes ,,,, " my ad rem answer was 'Your mother had a wonderful taste !!!!'

Ok joking aside , many things are taste related , [economic and ideological] related , and we have to consider that , when we see hopw people dress. My late mother never threw anything out , Dresses / clothes were made and or bought , and when new worn in Holidays, than she wore them in her shop and everyday outingings , than later it became in the house clothes or was cut up and used as aprons , etc,,,, mirjam

Reply to
mirjam

You're going to love this-

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Reply to
Pogonip

If you said someone was special in France it would mean you thought they were a bit challenged in the thinking department. I found this out when I first moved here and used to say that a child was special, in return I would get odd sideways looks from the parents until a kind friend enlightened me. LOL

Claire in Montréal. FRANCE

Reply to
Claire Owen

It has that meaning here, too, but not exclusively. Rather than call children "retarded" we now call them "special needs" children. We put them in "Special Education" classes. But "special" can also mean something out of the ordinary without a negative connotation.

Reply to
Pogonip

I hate that label, those labels. I hate labels on children when it comes to education. Most of the children labeled as special needs are very bright and need additional help in certain areas. The label carries the connotation of being "slow or retarded." If a child has an obvious physical disability we treat them one way, if the disability takes they form of reading or math difficulties or any other educational difficulty,then we treat them differently. They need support in the areas that are problems. I've been on my soap box about this for years. I'm not ranting at anyone here, I'm ranting about labels. Juno

Reply to
Juno B

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