Perfect for this group!

Oh, I can do it... But it's like family ironing: only when all other options fail! I can do grocery shopping on line if I must, but not the ironing... :P

You're welcome, love.

Gotta love you, Beverly. You didn't have a lot of choice because you are the kind of person that you are. Others seem to be operating from a different set of standards, and don't come anywhere near meeting yours. You have always shown class. I suspect that you are more like your MIL than you realize. Not showing your grief or sorrow, not wearing it like a placard, but still feeling it inside, putting a good face on and getting on with bidness, that's what I suspect. You just aren't a wallower, or someone who thinks she's owed something by everyone. You go, girl!

Feeding, I can understand........but up the nose????

My father died very suddenly 3 months before I got married. From her demeanour at the wedding no-one who did not know my mother would have thought it was so recent. Some of us just do not wear our hearts on our sleeves. Doesn't make the agony any less, but there's no point in letting it spoil what you still have.

The biggest outward sign was that she stopped dying her hair. She only did it because he hated to see her with grey hair.

I remember your telling us that before and I was very sad for you both. It must have been very difficult for *you*, too. DH died about a year before younger DD met her future husband. It made planning the happy event difficult at times.

I agree, and I think I manage most of the time to enjoy my children and grandchildren, travel, reading, gardening, sewing, etc. I did see a grief counselor a few times, and it helped.

Good for her! I let Mother Nature have her own way with my hair color, too.

Beverly

Wow, Joanne, I wish I measured up to the paragon you think I am. I have always found it exceedingly difficult to repress tears, either of joy (I cry at every wedding, birth, graduation...) or of sorrow. There have been lots of time in the past several years I have had to flee a room in order to avoid breaking down completely in front of others. That's less and less common now, but it still hits me once in a while.

You're right that I get on with the business of living, and I have a great deal to be happy about.

Beverly

Up.... something.... ;->

Beverly

Well shoot, of course you cry at weddings, graduations --- how about those pageants the little ones are in? Real tearjerkers, they are. Don't forget Bambi, Old Yeller, and that bunch. Danged Disney, anyhow. But you've proved me right --- when it's *real* you flee the room. You don't put on a show, tearing your hair and clothes, you quietly slip out and have a private moment.

There is a great deal to be happy about, even when we are knee deep in it. Every day I get up and check the paper, and if my obit isn't in there, I have a great day. ;-)

I knew it!!

Dear Beverly, Grief is the most difficult emotion for anyone to deal with,I think. But you have done so well. I came to this group about the same time you came back as a regular. I have always admired your ability to speak of your DH with so much feeling. I don't think anyone every gets over the pain, it becomes less obvious to others but there is always something there. Tears are the best way I know off to deal with joy and sadness, I just wish others understood that sometimes. I too cry at happy as well as sad occasions. I don't care who see my tears, they are part of me. I'm sure there are those who see your tears as a sign of weakness. I know they are the tears of strength. Only a strong person has no fear of showing emotion. Hugs to you, Juno

Yup! And Hallmark commercials... And granddaughter's dancing. And grandson playing his grandfather's instrument in the school concert, and...

I am not a "pretty" crier, I turn red, my nose runs, my eyebrows crinkle, I sob aloud, I hiccup... I have to exit, everyone would gag!

So true, although I gave up reading the obits, too many of my generation seem to be there now. :-}

Beverly

I agree, and our society does not make it any easier.

I doubt I will ever really get over the loss. DH and I had many great years, and a couple of difficult ones, and we had found our way back to such a warm and tender relationship. For the most part we were each other's best friends. I suppose that has madeit harder.

Thanks, Juno, that is so kind of you. I don't fear showing emotion although I'm occasionally embarrassed by it.

Beverly

;-)

Beverly

Yes!

Don't forget the headache.

Reno is still a small enough town, that all too often there are people we know in there.

You too? ;-}

And the sore throat. There was a time I wondered what a "lump in the throat" was. Now I know.

Portland is only about twice as large, still small enough I see obits for people I know.

Beverly

I hate to cry. I do sometimes, not often. I nearly lost a friend because I didn't cry on 9/11. She thought I should have.

Just 'cos you don't cry, doesn't mean you don't feel. I must admit that I can't watch the wreath laying on Remembrance Day (11/11) without my eyes oozing - that seems to affect me much more than 9/11.

Lizzy

Oh lord yes. I snarfle and my eyes get red and my nose swells up and my mascara runs. It frightens the dogs.

It's the same for me, except it's when I hear TAPS being played. When 9/11 happened, I was too stunned to show any emotion till after I returned home, I was shopping for a new TV that day. Emily