Sheesh, I've missed a number of posts here. I'll have to back up to catch them all! :)) Actually, if it's inside, I do it. But I don't have a paying job so the thankless one will have to do. lol I asked DD to wash the dishes one day and she said "Dad said I don't have to 'cause that's YOUR job". After I got through with him him, well all I can say is that the kitchen door has just never hung quite the same way. (vbg) And now if I ask for help, I GET IT!!!
Maureen > >
ROFL at that Maureen, you've just taken me back over 30 years to when my two boys were young. I guess no matter how many "new men" we produce the same old male attitudes prevail at times.
Like you I spent years (14 of them) at home while the children were young before returning to (paid) work and it wasn't unknown during that time for me to go on total all out strike until they sorted out their attitudes and manners. The joys of motherhood! ;-D
On Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:55:49 GMT, Maureen Miller wrote:
Maureen
Not only is doing housework thankless, it's backstabbing, too. Years ago, I worked full time and took care of ALL the housework until I overheard a family member stabbing me in the back, saying, "I know she works hard, but *I* don't see it." This was said to someone we hardly knew at the time. I was so steamed I confronted them and read them the riot act but good. Now, when they complain, I simply say, "Well, it's not like *you* view it as either "work" or "hard", so suck it up and do it or else." I've had to stick to my guns, too. People whine about no food, I tell them I won't cook until the dishes are clean, and I've even insisted on going out to eat, because I'm NOT going to do the job I delegated to someone else anymore. People whine about clean clothing, I can't do laundry if it's not sorted correctly, etc. I found you've got to be especially firm with males, because the sexist attitude is unfortunately very much alive and well thanks to TV shows in which the woman works a job and then comes home and "has time" to do all the housework as well, like it's a normal thing to expect us to have 2 full time jobs and no help from any other family members. FWIW, it doesn't take more than once of them doing a job and coming in the next day to find it needs it again to begin to appreciate what they took completely for granted before. I heard "But, I just cleaned this," the first time and I had to laugh. I then told them, "That's what real life is like. Get used to it." And I've made them get used to it. The family member never did apologize for stabbing me in the back, so every time I think I should buckle under and take something over for them again because they're trying to get away with being lazy again, I remind myself of that and make sure the work distribution remains fair to me.
Leah
Leah i admire your attitude ,,,, mirjam
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