KATRINA QUILTS

Just wonder what it cost to ship a tote full of quilts. Email privately if you want.

There will be 25 more people feeling all your love and good thoughts. You are a wonder, Snigs.

-- Carey in MA

DH's company will be sending my little effort off to the Comfort America Project tomorrow. Just 3 little kid quilts but hopefully someone somewhere will find comfort in them.

I am sure they will. It's amazing how much this relatively small group is doing?!

Wow! Those are really, really nice compared to the whole cloth quilts I whipped out. They will make some children very, very happy. You were very generous to send special quilts you had planned to sell.

Leslie & The Furbabies in MO.

Ohmigawsh!! Don't ask. It was terrible. DS took it to mail box etc because my little home scale wasn't big enough. I'm on Social Security and I ran out of money before the end of the month. DS paid for it and he looked a little ashen when he came home and told me "don't ask". This was his contribution. Sure hope it was not for aught. For years I was one of the coordinators for the County Community Share Xmas program where we accepted donated Xmas gifts and clothing for Foster Kids and poor kids across the county. I have seen so much waste and abuse. Parents sold the stuff for drugs and alcohol or just threw it out. I found brand new - unwrapped toys - in the garbage during home visits. Many parents signed up for like programs from every agency in the area and got duplicate food baskets and toys and sold them or just threw them out. I will never give a whole turkey dinner again unless I give a cooked turkey because they would let it spoil before they would cook it. There just doesn't seem to be any appreciation for the effort. Most wouldn't even come pick them up and our social workers would have to deliver them or they wouldn't get to the children at all. I have become too cynical. But I enjoy the giving so I do it with the knowledge that it probably won't be used as I wished it to be. I just have to let it go and enjoy the giving. Sure makes me made when people use other people and then abuse their charitible hearts.

It was no hardship - the quilts were already made and just languishing in my ebay store. I would a lot rather they get some use so I was glad to do it. My garage has one less tote full of inventory taking up space that my RHS Purple Blazer will need when winter weather comes. Thanks for you very kind words and recognition.

They were thick comforter type quilts and they were fun to make.

I made 6 smallish fleece blankets, about 54" square, single layer of fleece, serged edges. In the box, they weighed about 8 pounds. To ship them from Minnesota to Texas, either by USPS or UPS, will cost about $9.00, based on info from the

Julia in MN

Thanks, Julia. That I can handle. We finished 3 baby size quilts yesterday and will finish at least 2 more today.

You might also check around to see if anyone in your area is taking a truck down. The local chapter of Interfaith Hospitality Network is taking a truckload of relief supplies on Thursday, and I will send my blankets and some other stuff (toiletries, school supplies, etc.) with them. I figure I might as well give them the money to defray the cost of their trip as to give it to the post office :)

Julia in MN

Snigs, I am not going to even try to excuse the a***oles of the world, because there is no excuse for them. There are indeed plenty of them, on both sides of the giving equation.

It is high time some common sense was thrown into the world of charitable giving.

Now, so you all know, I give when and what I can when causes come to my attention. More often though, my family and I are on the other side. Yes, we are poor. In fact, one of the jokes is we are "p", 'cause we can't afford the rest of the letters. I know that there are others out there that are much worse off than we are. In fact sometimes I get pissed off because I know that there are needier people living close by and some charity comes knocking at my door (figuratively and sometimes literally) instead. I usually try to send them in the right direction, but often they are set on who they are going to give to.

In my time, we have been gifted with food, clothes, and whatnot, and most of it was about as useful as t*ts on a boar hog.

I have never thrown perfectly good things away, I have always tried to find someone else who needs them, or recycled them into a charitable organization.

For example, one of the local churches (unasked) once brought us a turkey dinner for Thanksgiving. Delivered complete with conversion pitch and admonitions about how we were going to go straight to hell if we didn't give up sex, drugs, rock and roll, and our obviously satanic lifestyle. I guess that since we don't have a lot of money that means we are obviously maniacal drug useing minions of satan. Well even if we weren't vegetarians I didn't have the equipment to cook a damn turkey. What the heck was I supposed to do with the thing even if I planned on eating it? Stick it on a fork and toast it over a burner? Put it in the oven in a plastic grocery sack? I'm not even sure it would have fit in my oven. So I gave most of the lot to lady down the road. Even there I had to call the Salvation Army and beg a tinfoil roasting pan for her (she didn't have a phone, and was about as inclined to put her hand out as cut it off). Fortunately they not only gave her the pan but included a whole roll of tinfoil and instructions on how to cook the thing, otherwise she had no better idea of what to do with it than I did. Yeah, "Aunt Sal-ly" rocks!

Another time a social worker gave me a bag of 8 or 9 brand new dresses for my then second grader. She thought they would be so cute with tights and rumba pants. Yeah, right. I have never, nor will I ever send a 7 year old child out into January in what amounts to a frilly shirt and stockings. Nor am I inclined to send a 7 year old girl out in a dress that flashes her bottom regardless, even if I could have forced her out the door dressed like that. To say nothing of the fact that I would have had to buy the rumba pants and then a never ending series of tights. (1) The dresses when to Aunt Sal-ly.

The number of people who have thought that we would be so grateful to get their trash that we would come and fetch it is astounding. Anytime someone says, 'our widget is broken so we got a new one, but your husband is clever and I am sure he could fix the broken one. Just come and pick it up anytime between noon and 12:01.' I just smile, nod, and walk away. I don't have a car and I am not inclined to walk over to fetch a widget that I have been doing quite well without, and that probably will never work again anyway.

There have been times that people have offered me large items that we really did truly need. But we haven't had the means to go fetch them. That has not been good. Especially when they get all angry because they know we need the thing. What the heck am I supposed to do? Pull a carjacking on a moving van? Remember the thread we had on kitchen stoves not long ago? Just last month I was darn near to weeping with frustration because my daughter's landlord offered us an old Chambers gas range in beautiful condition. He had taken on a partner who owned a second hand appliance store and was replaceing all the very old appliances in his apartments with more modern ones. I met this stove, it was beautiful. One of the ones the gas company gave out decades ago to get people to switch from wood or coal to gas. But I didn't have the fifty dollars the partner wanted to shift it, nor could I find anybody to move it for less. My stove is an apartment sized thing with one working burner, one sometimes working burner, and no functional pilots so I have to light the oven from the broiler. I sooo wanted that stove!

I s'pose all I am saying is please please think before you give, and think before you condem. That social worker with the dresses gave us no end of grief about DD not wearing them, and other people have gone all superior, taking a "see what happens when you try to do good" attitude when we have not been all happy to recieve useless stuff or able to fetch things we actually needed.

If you give a box of tuna helper to the food pantry, please give a couple of cans of tuna with it. Don't assume people will be happy to haul your junk for free just because they are poor. Please don't offer people things without a thought for how they will get them home. That is just cruel, especially if it is something they need. Don't assume that just because they are poor children will be happy with any old thing you want to give them. No ten year old will be happy with a toy meant for a toddler, regardless. Don't assume that everyone knows how to alter clothes that don't fit. Don't get all offended if they do alter clothes that don't fit. Most poor people do not need cable converters, entertainment centers, knick knacks, table linens, or cordless phones. I have been offered all of the above and turned down all but the linens, they were real linen and made some mighty fine shirts, but most people wouldn't know to do that with them. The lady with the cable converter was astounded that I didn't accept it and run right out to get cable. Please! Please! Please! Do not patronize or proselytize. Poor people have as much pride as anyone else. Being given a sermon along with food is something that you can expect at a mission, but not in your own home or at a secular help agency.

It is wonderful to try and help the less fortunate. It is not wonderful to expect them to fall down and praise you for it. It is not wonderful to get all huffy when things you give do not get used as you anticipated.

NightMist We are doing a whole lot better than we used to.

(1) This was a worker who was offended for my child because this child was going to school in hand sewn and made over clothes, of which DD had plenty.

Thank you very much for taking the time to write all of this!! So many times I get the feeling people give and do to make themselves feel better rather than really thinking about what the need is and what really needs to be done. Thanks!!

Jan

snipped-for-privacy@gmail.com (NightMist) wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@news.madbbs.com:

It does make me irritated when people don't think through what they are giving... The very idea of giving a family of vegetarians a turkey makes my liver curl! I always make sure that anything I donate to charity shops is clean, in good working order (like has working zips, all the buttons, and no rips!), and fit for its purpose. Broken tat is junk, and should be thrown away in a responsible manner. Things that are good but we have finished with (like grown out of clothing from James, or shrunk out of stuff of mine) is rehomed in several ways:

Charity shop - usually Demelza House, the local Hospice for kids. Friends and others with kids smaller than James (especially those with less disposable income than us), who can use up or wear for a while and pass on his grown-out-of stuff. The dump: anything not broken or that could be salvaged for parts is put on one side for others to re-home.

I've given away: a well used but still good 3 piece suite to a young couple just starting their first new home (it was given to us, so I passed it on when we could afford to replace it)

Two double beds: my mum gave me the one my dad built when she moved house, so mine went to a neighbour in need. The other went to another young couple in need (it was one a sister gave me when she moved and no longer needed it).

A HUGE crate of excellent baby stuff that James grew out of. The student mum was ecstatic and loved everything. She was intending to pass everything on as her baby outgrew it (some of the stuff was on its fifth kid when James wore it! OshCosh jeans are expensive, but they really do last!).

All my maternity clothes - made and used for a single pregnancy by me, so still in excellent condition. They went to a charity the deals specifically for homeless mothers-to-be, who needed some larger sized preggy clothes. I was pleased the lass who got them wore one of the outfits for a job interview and got the job! (I like feedback from those places).

I sold a lot of stuff along the way too, to finance other expenditure. I sold the buggy/car seat combination and loads of accessories, the travel cot and a pile of other baby paraphanalia. I also sold DH's (dead) motorbike to an enthusiast to rebuild, and I sold a really ugly and useless antique chest of drawers. We used the cash from that to build a couple of useful bits of furniture (like the eight foot tall bookcase upstairs, and some of the shelving in the sewing room).

We are far from poor, being a one-income family of moderate means. When I have stuff to donate, I like it to go where it will be useful. I would also rather re-home something than destroy it.

I've also been on the receiving end when I could not afford to buy for myself: furniture, bedding, clothes... Sometimes the gift of a second hand bed is a life-saver, but I'd never try to give someone something they didn't need or could not make use of... If I don't need/want it, and I cannot re-home it, it goes to the shop to be sold on to someone who does want or need it, and makes a little money for one of my preferred charities on the way.

I don't need thanks (though it's nice to get it), and I don't want praise for giving stuff when it's needed. I do like to be told what is needed, and that the stuff I give is useful. I try to keep an eye on the charities and give them the stuff they can make use of. I got a marvelous Christmas present from a dear friend last year: goats for a family in Africa! I'm a great believer in that thing about giving a man a loaf and he easts today: teach him to grow crops and he feeds his family forever.

So, if anyone has a good idea about where to send those baby changing bags, drop me a note! I'd rather give them to folk who need them than have them sold cheaply to folk who like a nice bargain!

Thanks for writing all of this, Nightmist. I too grew up poor (but rich in neighbors, experiences, learning how to make and do things...) and it was one of the reasons that I was later taken from my family. Of course, that fact is not printed in any of my files, but it is there. Many more poor children than rich ones are taken into the custody of children's services.

-- Jo in Scotland