OT Pastry Wars

well, in our family if I don't make the pies they are likely to be store bought things. Nobody even much knows enough to argue. Glad you have your dh there watching your back. : ) Glad you are looking well too! Taria

I have seen more of my relatives recently than I have in the last thirty years. After they get past the "My you are looking well!" or, "I thought you were sick!" stage, they have tended to fall back on "What are you doing for the holidays?" This usually comes around to cooking as a safe topic for conversation, plus they can offer to bring something over. Yesterday I had an Aunt, two grown cousins, and a cousin in-law descend together, representing three different family nodes. Is it nodes or clusters? clumps? oddball groupings? Oddball certainly describes much of that side of the family well. When we fell to talking about holiday cooking the poo hit the fan.

We got past the profound lack of poultry or pork products in my holiday meals. (but Uncle X's Johnny has so many extra geese this year!" Could somebody explain to me why grown men edging up on 70 are still Johnny, Joey, Timmy, or Tommy?) I skillfully directed the conversation away from marshmallows on squash. Jello salads were consigned to the children's table, nobody killed anyone when green bean casserole was mentioned, and there was no dressing versus stuffing controversy. In fact I was praised as an innovator (all credit to DH and his mother who could actually cook) for having dressing on the table with no bird.

Eventually we got around to pies. We got past most of the fruit and cream pies. We swapped spice mixtures for pumpkin and had some spirited debate as to the merits of canned pumpkin versus sugar pumpkins versus butternut squash, and are neck pumpkins a butternut squash variety or a pumpkin? Then followed a minor squabble over what color of corn syrup to use in pecan pies that was quickly resolved by Blaming It All On Men. Then came mincemeat.

If I had realized that mincemeat pie was a religion I would have attempted to divert the conversation. Apparently lattice versus solid top on a mincemeat pie is a whole denominational battle. When the in-law cousin said that a real traditional mincemeat pie was made with puff paste instead of shortcrust, and one of the other cousins agreed with her, I thought for sure I was in the midst of the Crusades. Really, I was just waiting for the swords and armor to come out. I foolishly attempted to derail the line of conversation by piping up with the fact that I make a wholly vegetarian green tomato mincemeat. Heresy! Mincemeat is supposed to have meat in it! or so I was told. Of course my nefarious ploy did sort of work. After they finished schooling me on what mincemeat actually was they fell to discussing the various merits of venison, beef, and such things in mincemeat. That was about when DH rode in to my rescue with a dish of my mincemeat for them to taste. It was declared a nine days wonder because it tasted like mincemeat :rolleyes: Then DH told them they should taste my gingerbread. The stinker!

NightMist Oh yeah, they were off and running again...

You are THE BEST storyteller!! I always look forward to your descriptions of people and incidents. I'd like to be a fly on your wall! KJ

I was So hoping that you were going to ask for a grand pastry recipe. I have one that never fails even a beginner and uses cream cheese. No matter. I enjoyed your tale so much. Don't get to do that much here in the Swamp. I can't seem to get them to try anything that doesn't begin with a stick of butter and 1/2 cup bacon fat. Polly

I'd really like to hear about your gingerbread! One of my all time favorites for Fall. Bonnie NJ

DH says is doesn't sound like they eat too healthy there in the swamp. Paula Deen would be at home there and I could probably be really happy there too. So I'll ask for your pastry recipe. I just use a basic one. I don't do many pies here any more but occasionally I just need one. Taria

I was So hoping that you were going to ask for a grand pastry recipe. I have one that never fails even a beginner and uses cream cheese. No matter. I enjoyed your tale so much. Don't get to do that much here in the Swamp. I can't seem to get them to try anything that doesn't begin with a stick of butter and 1/2 cup bacon fat. Polly

Do you think it is just possible, therefore, that I might be able to

*make* pastry? I have been *buying* it ready-made for many years ... ... because you could pave a garden patio with mine >g< (sad but true - I once made 'fool-proof' bread rolls from a packet mix that were so hard my DH had to drill holes to hang them out for the birds - and they ignored them >gg

That would come down to which one?

I am pretty sure DH meant the cookies I use for gingerbread Houses, men, women, and animals for Christmas. Even there I alternate between the recipe I like best, and one that uses honey that DH is fond of. Of course with honey prices these days that recipe may not be making an appearance again anytime too soon.

Then there are the gingerbread recipes that are cakes. I have a favorite that is pretty standard, then there is my gingerbread fruitcake, and my gingerbread apple upside down cake.

Let me know! Or should I just post all of them?

NightMist

Cream Cheese Pastry for beginners

1 'softened' 8oz pkg cream cheese 1 cup margarine ( that's 2 sticks) (also softened) 2 cups flour ½ teaspoon salt

Mix cream cheese and margarine until well blended. Add flour and salt; mix well. Form into a ball, chill. Divide dough in half. Lightly flour a sheet of plastic wrap. Place half of the dough on plastic, lightly flour and cover with another sheet of plastic wrap. Gently, gently roll out into a circle. Place in pie pan. Trim, flute, prick. Repeat with other half. Bake at

450° about 12 minutes or proceed with another method. The plastic wrap is really not necessary for experienced pastry chefs but surely is helpful for those of us who don't bake pies very often. Polly

post it please, Sandy, so we can compare stuff. what fillings do you use with your pastry? j.

"Sandy" wrote ... Polly, I also have a cream cheese pastry recipe, and if yours is anything like mine, it's heavenly! :)

"Polly Esther" wrote:

Polly, what fillings does this recipe work with? j.

"Polly Esther" ...

Cream Cheese Pastry for beginners

1 'softened' 8oz pkg cream cheese 1 cup margarine ( that's 2 sticks) (also softened) 2 cups flour ½ teaspoon salt

Mix cream cheese and margarine until well blended. Add flour and salt; mix well. Form into a ball, chill. Divide dough in half. Lightly flour a sheet of plastic wrap. Place half of the dough on plastic, lightly flour and cover with another sheet of plastic wrap. Gently, gently roll out into a circle. Place in pie pan. Trim, flute, prick. Repeat with other half. Bake at

450° about 12 minutes or proceed with another method. The plastic wrap is really not necessary for experienced pastry chefs but surely is helpful for those of us who don't bake pies very often. Polly

Just about anything, Jeanne. It is a very fine but quite basic recipe. If you're tempted, you could sneak in a little lemon zest for a lemon pie . . . etc. If I'm baking a 'wet' pie such as pecan, I paint the pastry with egg white and bake it for about 5 minutes before I add the filling. That's sort of like a coat of shellac but tastes better. Polly

I concur! I, too, look forward to NightMist's posts!

-Irene

I have just made mincepies using a Mary Berry recipe:

6oz. plain flour 3oz butter cut into cubes 1oz icing sugar finely grated rind of one orange 1 beaten egg

Flour, icing sugar, butter, orange rind wizzed in a food processor till it looks like fine breadcrumbs. Add the egg and pulse the blade until it forms a ball. (you could do this using a fork and rubbing in by hand if you didn't have a food processor), Knead gently by hand on a floured ball. Roll it out on a floured board as required. I cooked at 180 degrees C in my fan oven - gas mark 6 or 200 in a non-fan oven for 12-15 mins. I shall do the same for vegan daughter using non-dairy marg. and water instead of the egg.

I have just had a couple of years of abysmal pastry but this was wonderful.

My m> Do you think it is just possible, therefore, that I might be able to

I wouldn't mind all of them, but please start with the cake version. I love to put lemon sauce on top but dh always wants whipped cream. That leaves more lemon sauce for me ;-). You can follow with any other of the recipes. I also am known as a cookie monster! Bonnie NJ

I made a copy of the recipe Polly. Not sure if I'll every make it but it sure sounds wonderful! Bonnie NJ

I was thinking the cream cheese would be a great crust for lemon. My all time favorite, well along with coconut cream and apple, and banana cream..... thanks for sharing! Taria

Just about anything, Jeanne. It is a very fine but quite basic recipe. If you're tempted, you could sneak in a little lemon zest for a lemon pie . . . etc. If I'm baking a 'wet' pie such as pecan, I paint the pastry with egg white and bake it for about 5 minutes before I add the filling. That's sort of like a coat of shellac but tastes better. Polly

thanks for those ideas, Sandy. we do small, perfect size to go with a cuppa, size tarts. mince, lemon curd, might do some pecan this yr, almond? hmmm, google that one i think, fresh strawberry now too as we're picking lots at the moment...high season in our backyard, lol. a wee bit of whipped cream on top of some of those at the last minute always goes down well too. sometimes i roll, other times i press the pastry to fit. it varies according to the mood i'm in at the time. thanks again, j.

Mine is identical to Polly's, Jeanne! I love it in mince tartlets or with an almond filling, but you could use it with any filling. The advantage to tartlets is that you don't even have to roll out the pastry; just take a little ball of it and press it into the tartlet pans. Yum! Sandy