OT Rant about posts

Self-control and self-censorship seems to be a "lost art". I have young children (4&2), and get so mad when people don't watch what they say in public. They don't seem to care that things they are saying maybe inappropriate for young ears and even without the children, it is (or at least once was) considered rude and inconsiderate. Our society's manors have really gone down hill.

Ditto that. And I'll add that -- as I wrote in another thread -- discretion is usually supposed to go hand in hand with free speech.

Wendy, I don't like it when another ethnic group or other singled out groups (blondes, for instance) are made the brunt of a joke. I think in this day and age we should be beyond that. Telling jokes like those or even sending them in email at my office is a terminatable offense. I don't have enough time in the day to do the things I would like to do so I choose not use what spare time I do have to read those kind of posts - especially when they warn you ahead of time that you are going to be offended in some form or fashion. I'm the first one to make fun of myself - and most of the time it's justifiable - but I don't like others making jokes at my expense since those types of comments are usually more hurtful than funny and I won't treat others that way either (or I try my very best not to). But, that's just me.

Well said, Wendy.

Betty in WI

Hey, I was there. Last minute thing so didn't get a chance to warn you!

Betty up the road in WI

If you do, watch out for the Llama Protection Union. For too long now, poor innocent llamas have been the brunt of cruel jokes and stereotypes. If you saw the tears roll down a llama's cheeks every time it hears yet another tasteless joke about how many llamas it takes to screw in a light bulb, you'd be heartbroken. (tongue so firmly in my cheek that it hurts)

No, it's not just you. And that's my point.

Ok, well..... here I go.... stepping up on MY soapbox of the week....

For the past 10 days - I have spent the majority of the time sad and/or in a mild state of depression. Why? Because as my mother has said for years, "Tina, you are just too sensitive." Yep, I guess she's right, again.

As of Tuesday last week, I started receiving the typical pass around, garbage emails that start from a news report or paper editorial. Someones opinion on the hurricane, someones opinion on who's to blame, where the fault lies, what people should have done and shouldn't have done.

Some of the ugliest I received, blamed the victims themselves. One of the ugliest, and purely inhumane, garbage emails I received stated, "Well, if you look at the ones they were rescuing off the roofs...they were all black, welfare recipients, waiting on the government to save them..."

I was hurt. I was mad. I got really down and depressed that this kind of garbage was coming from people I knew and at one time respected.

It doesn't seem to matter to them that the people they saw being rescued off of roof tops were just flat, plain, Human Beings! Didn't matter what color their skin was. Didn't matter what their religious preference was. Didn't matter what their previous financial standing was. They were HUMAN BEINGS, in need of HELP! And I couldn't believe some of the reactions and statements I was hearing.

It occurred to me - I shouldn't be surprised. Some of these comments were coming from the same people who send (in bulk email) Jewish jokes, Italian jokes, Hispanic laborer jokes....I think you get the point.

I guess my point is - if one is willing to make light of, make fun of, or denegrate ANY other human being - in the name of humor even - then you can pretty well guage their level of human compassion and love for their fellow man.

When you laugh at the jokes, because you think, "Oh, it's just a junk email joke being sent around." Think about the person who came up with the joke. Think about the person who forwarded it to you. Did they THINK first? Did they think, "Oh, it's all in fun, it's just humor?" Or did they think, "This is making fun of someone, cutting someone else down, in the name of 'humor'?"

Yep, people now days will say and do just about anything - with no regard for how it might affect those around them or those who overhear. It's sad really. Because a lot of those same people are people I called my friends. At times, it was even myself. And that part really hurts.

I'm not laughing anymore. After the way I have seen people treated in the last two weeks, in the face of disaster and emergency - I have decided, it's not funny. The jokes aren't funny. Because the same people who were sending the jokes and laughing - are the same ones who are pointing fingers, blaming and denegrating their fellow human beings who just plain need their help, right now!

The joke is on us. When we joke, when we laugh - at another human beings expense - we are only hurting ourselves. And when we are telling others about it, and laughing - we don't know how many people around us we are hurting as well.

I have hurt so bad this week it has made me cry a thousand times. Not for myself - but for the people who are being hurt by the attitudes of those making the jokes and the comments.

It's really not funny. I have thought over, and over, and over again this week - "Does it really need to be said?" "If you don't have anything nice, good, or productive to say, couldn't you just keep your mouth shut?"

I have been told more than one time this week - "Tina, your expectations of other human beings, as well as yourself, are just too high. Then, you are disappointed when they don't live up to your expectations." Like I told that person, "Are you saying, that me, expecting my friends, neighbors and acquaintances - to treat other human beings, with basic human compassion and respect - is too HIGH of an expectation?"

I guess my therapist is right then. My expectations are too high and I'll be damned if I will lower them any time soon. Sorry for the expletive.

Tina, stepping off my soapbox, at least on the group BTW, thank you to the person who said I was happy, not in a pollyanna kind of way. My mother has said for years that I was just "too Pollyanna". Unfortunately, no, I'm not. I'm all too realistic at times, so much so that it breaks my heart.

Hey, I hope I don't hurt a llamas feelings - cuz that one still helps me laugh at times that I want to cry. When I'm really down these days

- I start to sing the llama song to myself and then, I can't help but smile!

Hugs, to the llamas too, Tina

Courtesy of Ogden Nash (ok, I stole off the internet. whaddya expect from a pirate?)

The one-l lama, He's a priest. The two-l llama, He's a beast. And I will bet A silk pajama There isn't any Three-l lllama

This one?

Tina, you're my hero! I too, have always been called "too sensitive", and told my expectations were too high. What's the alternative? To give up? Well *you* don't give up. You help others and make them happy; in turn all your actions and giving gives you happiness too. Your stories here, Polly's stories here... are uplifting. Thank you for the window to your world. When you tell us of your happiness, many others are smiling with you; when you tell us of your troubles and your thoughts, many others are thinking of you. You are not alone, my friend. What are the benefits of being "too sensitive", of having "high expectations"? I believe it is integrity, self-respect, and the respect of others.

-- Jo in Scotland

No, your expectations are not too high. That's ridiculous. Your expectations are exactly where they ought to be. The Golden Rule. That's the only law we need to live by. Why do people make it so complicated.

Maybe some people don't feel good about themselves so they have to denigrate others in order to feel superior. Humor is such a subjective call. But calling someone names or making fun of a person or a whole culture is just mean.

And I don't care how much you close you are to someone, referring to them by an ethnic slur is just plain appalling. I am married to an Italian. I live in an Italian/American community. I would sooner cut off my arm that refer to my husband or one of our friends by ethnic name. I might call them idiots, but that's justified.

Eh, that's just my 2 cents. And damn. It was such a nice morning until I got here and started reading this crap. We have NEVER had these problems before. What's changed, I wonder.

Cindy

I can't sing it to myself -- I get all twisted! LOL! But it sure is cute. :)

I forget... Doesn't "too sensitive" mean you were bold enough to speak up when someone offended you?

: >For the past 10 days - I have spent the majority of the time sad and/or : >in a mild state of depression. Why? Because as my mother has said for : >years, "Tina, you are just too sensitive." Yep, I guess she's right, : >again. : >

: >As of Tuesday last week, I started receiving the typical pass around, : >garbage emails that start from a news report or paper editorial. : >Someones opinion on the hurricane, someones opinion on who's to blame, : >where the fault lies, what people should have done and shouldn't have : >done. : >

: >Some of the ugliest I received, blamed the victims themselves. One of : >the ugliest, and purely inhumane, garbage emails I received stated, : >"Well, if you look at the ones they were rescuing off the roofs...they : >were all black, welfare recipients, waiting on the government to save : >them..." : >

: >I was hurt. I was mad. I got really down and depressed that this kind : >of garbage was coming from people I knew and at one time respected. : >

: >It doesn't seem to matter to them that the people they saw being : >rescued off of roof tops were just flat, plain, Human Beings! Didn't : >matter what color their skin was. Didn't matter what their religious : >preference was. Didn't matter what their previous financial standing : >was. They were HUMAN BEINGS, in need of HELP! And I couldn't believe : >some of the reactions and statements I was hearing. : >

: >It occurred to me - I shouldn't be surprised. Some of these comments : >were coming from the same people who send (in bulk email) Jewish jokes, : >Italian jokes, Hispanic laborer jokes....I think you get the point. : >

: >I guess my point is - if one is willing to make light of, make fun of, : >or denegrate ANY other human being - in the name of humor even - then : >you can pretty well guage their level of human compassion and love for : >their fellow man. : >

: >When you laugh at the jokes, because you think, "Oh, it's just a junk : >email joke being sent around." Think about the person who came up with : >the joke. Think about the person who forwarded it to you. Did they : >THINK first? Did they think, "Oh, it's all in fun, it's just humor?" : >Or did they think, "This is making fun of someone, cutting someone else : >down, in the name of 'humor'?" : >

: >Yep, people now days will say and do just about anything - with no : >regard for how it might affect those around them or those who overhear. : > It's sad really. Because a lot of those same people are people I : >called my friends. At times, it was even myself. And that part really : >hurts. : >

: >I'm not laughing anymore. After the way I have seen people treated in : >the last two weeks, in the face of disaster and emergency - I have : >decided, it's not funny. The jokes aren't funny. Because the same : >people who were sending the jokes and laughing - are the same ones who : >are pointing fingers, blaming and denegrating their fellow human beings : >who just plain need their help, right now! : >

: >The joke is on us. When we joke, when we laugh - at another human : >beings expense - we are only hurting ourselves. And when we are : >telling others about it, and laughing - we don't know how many people : >around us we are hurting as well. : >

: >I have hurt so bad this week it has made me cry a thousand times. Not : >for myself - but for the people who are being hurt by the attitudes of : >those making the jokes and the comments. : >

: >It's really not funny. I have thought over, and over, and over again : >this week - "Does it really need to be said?" "If you don't have : >anything nice, good, or productive to say, couldn't you just keep your : >mouth shut?" : >

: >I have been told more than one time this week - "Tina, your : >expectations of other human beings, as well as yourself, are just too : >high. Then, you are disappointed when they don't live up to your : >expectations." Like I told that person, "Are you saying, that me, : >expecting my friends, neighbors and acquaintances - to treat other : >human beings, with basic human compassion and respect - is too HIGH of : >an expectation?" : >

: >I guess my therapist is right then. My expectations are too high and : >I'll be damned if I will lower them any time soon. Sorry for the : >expletive. : >

: >Tina, stepping off my soapbox, at least on the group : >BTW, thank you to the person who said I was happy, not in a pollyanna : >kind of way. My mother has said for years that I was just "too : >Pollyanna". Unfortunately, no, I'm not. I'm all too realistic at : >times, so much so that it breaks my heart. : : Tina, you're my hero! I too, have always been called "too : sensitive", and told my expectations were too high. What's the : alternative? To give up? : Well *you* don't give up. You help others and make them happy; in : turn all your actions and giving gives you happiness too. Your : stories here, Polly's stories here... are uplifting. Thank you for : the window to your world. : When you tell us of your happiness, many others are smiling with : you; when you tell us of your troubles and your thoughts, many others : are thinking of you. You are not alone, my friend. : What are the benefits of being "too sensitive", of having "high : expectations"? I believe it is integrity, self-respect, and the : respect of others. : : : -- Jo in Scotland

It really *is* a tongue twister: I'm afraid I'd bite myself trying. That, or start spitting like a llama!! ;-))

-- Carey in MA