OT: should I say something?


I'm finished with the bag, and will post photos tomorrow. But I'm in
need of sage advice and wisdom. The class was really just a gathering
of people who wanted to work on the bag. One nice soul who had
finished the bag just earlier helped us all through the process. I
arrived for the first day already exhausted and hurting and when I
turned on my SM saw that the light on the display was off. I swear, I
couldn't remember how to turn it on. I had to get out my manual, it
took a few minutes, but only of my time. I had never put in a zipper
before and the "teacher" talked me through the first one. I also had
never made a button hole on that particular SM and had to look it up.
But mostly I kept up with the rest of the class that first day (5
hours!). On the second day one of the women in the class (she works
for the LQS where we were and often teaches classes) started to talk
loudly about maybe she would teach a class in making the bag. But not
for free. Then she started in on me (!!?) saying she would make sure
that anyone taking her class would know how to use their sewing
machines and already knew how to put in zippers. Now, this "kind soul"
had required just as much help from the teacher as I had. She's a bit
of a talker, really loud. I've been with her in other classes and
typically she never finishes her projects unless she's teaching the
class. Then she went on and on about how awful it was for someone to
come to a class and not know how to use their own sewing machine.
So (that was a long story, sorry), should I say something to her
privately about how unbearably rude that was, or should I just skip
it. I will never, ever in my life pay for a class that she teaches.
And I'm really not too happy about shopping there on days when she's
behind the counter.
By that second day (6 hours) I was really tired, hurting way bad and
getting confused. I went home and went straight to bed. I do have
short term memory problems. And when I'm stressed I get confused. My
fingers just stopped responding at one point and I dropped what I was
holding. I know it was pretty obvious to anyone looking on that I was
having a hard time making my fingers work.
Ok, enough whine. I like my bag a lot. It's gorgeous. I may make more
of them and offer them for sale in a shop here. But it's a lotttttttt
of work. Now that I know how to make it, I think the second one would
be quicker. But it's a complex pattern with lots and lots of steps,
including some that are just totally counter intuitive.
I'll put up pics tomorrow of the bag.
Sunny
Reply to
Sunny
Sunny, people like "the mouth" are always going to make it hard for some of us. I too get confused and have short term memory loss and it is the hardest thing to try and remember what you have to do. I am a firm believer in what goes around, comes around and she will soon find that her mouth is too big for her face and she will soon put both her feet into it.
Reply to
DiMa
Personally, I think that there might be reasons to speak up and also not to. If you care about the success of that LQS, at least the manager ought to be made aware of your feelings, not just about the class, but in general when shopping there. If you care about that woman, and think that an objective, kind conversation is even possible, you MIGHT try. On the other hand, if she's likely to take anything you say the wrong way, or if you think you're the ONLY CUSTOMER with complaints about the woman, well, sigh. There's probably not any point.
Musicmaker, who wonders why anyone can still hold onto the idea of world peace when people like THAT continue to exist?
Reply to
Musicmaker
ñx?U?¿?Ô0 Æ{??*f?}*?+¶à??:'Q??³?y{>Ùa?ÝÍúôé§OqîF>îþ(4?iËL:{¥" Ó?F&?9=(í?uÆ.Nlú4#IÅ??Cç&òlz© N/a??:&Iø?a¹}.¸GeeÿË.!Æ??¹×x\èö°Ðbl?¸¯§2?Üe?Íþ´?hqÝËV4?¡÷$¡???ãX¥¬?g¿?VYHe?Ú²5?D]?°ËU4'?ÙÒoi@,E V?ªPhÍÒù.T²â' ¦kR?3)§ìQ­R??;#h?& ja_· ì°]B?Ô+¥B1?èGAáw¶?é?An±o-?ëA# ÆVlÁÏhL?këf?`¥ºôÑPËjÁ?V+ÑêAþÓÔAxi%? Fú???·¡Ú9?+!õ
Reply to
Mary
In article ,
Sunny, I'm so sorry that your two days of what should have been fun were spoiled. As for the woman, I doubt that saying anything to her directly will accomplish anything, unfortunately. People like her tend to think they know everything and that their opinion is the only one that counts.
However, if she's an employee of that store, the owner does need to know that this woman is creating ill will and distress among the customers. Since it's too late to do as Nel so cleverly suggested (great idea!), I'd go with what Mary says: talk to the manager in a non-confrontational manner, all concern about this jerk's health, and managing to insert how hurt this sort of thing can make others feel.
BTW, I'm really glad you posted about this right now. I'm scheduled to teach a machine quilting class at my guild next Friday, and it's good to have that reminder that not everyone is as healthy as some and that there may be people who need a bit more TLC.
Enjoy your bag -- I'll be anxious to see the photos. :)
Reply to
Sandy
Try this silly little mind game. Picture yourself with a few water balloons - loaded with slicky, slimy green pea soup. Every time one of those hurtful remarks pops up in your mind, imagine yourself hurling a load of green pea soup on top of her head. After a while, maybe even the first time, when you think of her, you'll be able to grin. Just imagine that goo sliding down her hair and dripping off her nose. It won't change her. Probably nothing will. You can only change how she makes you feel. Really. Try it. Polly
Reply to
Polly Esther
As a teacher, I'd like to know if I've done something stupid, even if it hurts to know the truth. I do think that people can change.
joan
Reply to
joan8904
I suspect you are a good teacher though, Joan. A pretty decent human being too. That makes a big difference. Someone suggested tears. Ever since I realized one of my sisters can turn the tears off and on like a faucet tears don't work anymore. (I was the last one to realize it apparently. I thought everyone else was insensitive to her) I did sit through a class with a gal that had a new machine and no clue how to even do a zigzag. It was pretty frustrating to watch her but it didn't effect my learning. I am glad you got the bag done Sunny. I hope you are feeling better today. Hugs, TAria
As a teacher, I'd like to know if I've done something stupid, even if it hurts to know the truth. I do think that people can change.
joan
Reply to
Taria
Well, I'd just ignore her or even better, laugh at her. She's an idiot.
I can't think of anything you can say that will make her any less of an idiot in future, either.
Cindy
Reply to
teleflora
On 9/12/09 09:00, in article
That, and make sure that you do make clear to her (manager) that this impacts her bottom line----that you *will not* shop at any time when this person is apt to wait on you. You might want to make sure you mention the business axiom (in case she doesn't know it) that for everyone who actually complains, you can assume there are ten people out there who feel the same way but don't say anything---in this case, who may simply quietly take their business elsewhere. And that you're telling her not to be nasty, or because you want to "get back at" Ms. NastyMouth, but because you like her shop, care about her business, and want to be sure she's aware she's got a problem.
(I don't think I'd bring up health issues; the bottom line is that she's being an obnoxious bitch to customers in a context where she represents the store. Why they do whatever they've done that triggered her mouth is irrelevant; the issue is that that mouth shouldn't be being triggered, at least as a rep of the store.)
Could be she's oblivious (Ms. NM may be careful to watch her mouth around the boss); could be that she's aware but not sure if it's bad enough to be a problem and/or doesn't know how to handle it, and an Actual Complaint gives her something to use to address the situation.
Reply to
Listpig
I'm from the camp that you should say something to the owner or manager of the store. If you don't want to do it face to face, you could type up a letter or make a phone call. If she was this rude & insensitive to you, you can bet you're not the only one she treats that way. The manager may already know she has a problem with this employee & your calling it to her attention may be what she needs to talk to this woman. I'm sorry she made the class an unpleasant experience for you, but try to keep in mind that she is the jerk & not you.
Pauline Northern California
Reply to
Pauline
The reason I put that sort of issue on a "health basis" is two-fold, actually. First, there really could be a health issue or something else horrible going on! Second, I have always found that the boss gets the message loud and clear, and is most likely to confront the employee with "Mrs. ABC said . . . ", and if it is put into an "I'm concerned" context rather than a "she is horrible" context, my own life is much more pleasant when I run into the person again -- which always happens!
Reply to
Mary
Hi Sunny, (Yeah, Sunny - not Sandy - but I'll get to that...)
Don'tcha just wanna b****slap the face off that _____?
I think it goes much further than that. This harridan (to be polite, and it's always been one of my favorite words; thanks for reminding me Nel {because I can't spell "Sartorresartus" - what does that MEAN, anyway?}) wasn't just creating ill will and distress; she was bullying and discriminating against a person with a disability. How would her employer respond had she made such comments about a person with a visible disability? In many companies, it's grounds for dismissal and in some cases, it's actionable.
I respectfully disagree with this. Whether it's effective or not isn't the issue - it's... the 21st century and beneath any woman to resort to that anymore. (DW helped me with that one.)
Yes... In the first place, I wouldn't let this person intimidate you from going into that store if/when you want to. Actually, you have the upper hand here. If she's there, then I would ask her to call the owner over, then tell the owner you'd like to speak to her (the owner) privately. This may make the offender sweat a little. Explain the situation to the owner calmly, and in terms of discriminating against persons with disabilities. If you need some fact-finding/coaching there is likely a local agency that can help you out or give you some ideas/talking points. I went to Wiki for a quick synopsis
formatting link
is the official site, but may take a bit more wading. Anyhoo, with regard to the ADA:
formatting link
Title III, no individual may be discriminated against on thebasis of disability with regards to the full and equal enjoyment ofthe goods, services, facilities, or accommodations of any place ofpublic accommodation by any person who owns, leases (or leases to), oroperates a place of public accommodation. "Public accommodations"include most places of lodging (such as inns and hotels), recreation,transportation, education, and dining, along with [STORES], careproviders, and places of public displays, among other things. OTOH, if this bully gives you a hard time again, be prepared and give her both barrels loud enough for the whole store to hear.
Unfortunately, you may have another decision to make, and that is what you are willing to do if the store owner is indifferent or sides with the bully. Stop patronizing them? More?
This is one of those times when deciding what to do may be tougher than dealing with the situation in the first place. Re-read all the suggestions given, think about it, and if you want, make a decision/ plan of action. "Not to decide is to decide" - Harvey Cox
Good Luck - Best Wishes,
Doc
Reply to
Dr. Zachary Smith
Sunny,
All I can say is that loud, rude woman must feel very small and insignificant to have to put other people down to feel important. While it might feel good to let her know what a hateful old bat she is, I doubt doing so will address the underlying problem. So if you need to do it to get it off your chest, go for it. Just realize that it probably won't change her behavior, and secondly might make for even more uncomfortable visits to your LQS.
Best regards, Michelle in Nevad
Reply to
Michelle C.
If I was ever to teach a quilting class, I would surely draw on my 20 years of public school teaching and what I have learned over those years and from all my students. Especially after a very good last year and fine start to this year as I have changed and adapted as a person, teacher, and in recognizing the differences in my students and calming down a great deal. Here would be my two reponses as a student in a quilting class or as a customer.
Class: Really (long and drawn out). Well, we are all different people and we all learn differently and we all have different skills and strengths. I'm so sorry that I'm not at your level but I am surely having a great time learning and expanding my sewing skills by making such a beautiful project. I'm sure that if I am a problem in this class our teacher will pull me aside to discuss it privately.
Store: I'm so sorry that you do not approve of my purchases but the last I knew, I am the customer and you are the store clerk. Should I ever need your opinion on anything I will be sure to ask. In the meantime, would you be so kind as to call your manager. I'm sure that she and I have plenty to talk about concerning your customer service skills. Thank you.
Just my two cents worth.
Steven, suffering from high levels of stress due to being very behind at school, the remodeling is not going well, being overloaded in my personal class, losing my computer jump drive storage device, and my Aunt dying in surgery last Wednesday. Taking a deep breath. Alaska
Reply to
Steven Cook
Yikes Steve. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. My sincere condolences about your aunt.
(((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))) Michelle in Nevada
Reply to
Michelle C.
Was she addressing you directly, or was she speaking to others in more general terms without referring specifically to you (though it sounds obvious that she was referring to to your problems rather indirectly, but not subtly)? I think that might make a difference in how I addressed the situation. I don't think it would do any good to talk to her. It might help to talk to the store owner, especially if you can put it in terms of concern for her business and for the well-being of the employee.
By the way, if my machine didn't seem "normal" at startup, I would definitely be checking my manual (and good for you for having it with you). I have made "automatic" buttonholes on my machine, but don't do it often. I always have to refer to the manual -- figure the little bit of time it takes to make sure I'm doing it right far offset the time I would waste if I skipped a step or did something wrong. Even if you had done zippers before, often bag zippers are done differently than garment zippers and a lot of bag patterns have their own methods for doing zippers. You can't be expected to know in advance how each pattern designer does zippers. That's one reason to take the class. And two straight days of class are tiring for most anyone, even those without health problems.
I'm glad you're happy with the results. Enjoy your new bag.
Julia in MN
Reply to
Julia in MN

Site Timeline Threads

  • I got so excited looking at jeanne's hug I didn't check out the mice until just...
  • previous in

    Quilting

InspirePoint website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.