This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to a Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!
NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION:=A0Company's President or Vice President.=A0But seriously, whatever's available.=A0If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY:=A0 $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION:=A0Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING:=A0It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:=A0Any. PREFERRED HOURS:=A01:30-3:30 p.m.=A0 Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:=A0If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?:=A0On the job - no!=A0=A0On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:=A0Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.=A0Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
***Old People Rock! ***37 for 05
4 cardsOKC Dave