share buy wedding dresses experiences

I was a very very fortunate bride. My friend and I selected a pattern together and from there, we truly custom designed how she would make it and then she custom constructed it and, of course, custom fitted it, with lots of love added in throughout the process. I feel that when other brides say they have a "custom made" dress, they won't be able to fathom what it means to have one truly made for you with love. I wish everyone were so lucky! It also strikes me as sad that in an industry that is so closely related to love, that it's so clear how little love is in the industry itself.

I'm thinking 'made to order in 'your' size' looks like a better description for these gowns. Isn't this what ALL the wedding gown manufacturers do? You go to the shop, try on several different styles, and order your gown. They send off a whole batch of orders each week/month, and the factory (usually somewhere in China these days) churns them out *in the size ordered*. Three months after you went into the shop and placed the order, your badly fitting gown arrives, and you then pay the shop a few hundred MORE dollars/punds/shekels to get it altered to fit... Call me cynical if you like...

Looking at the fabrics on the site, the choice it about as good as you'd expect for colour, and the fabrics are all the cheap end of the polyester market... This bunch seems to be passing on a nice saving to the customer by cutting out the shop bit. This may save time as well.

'Custom' made doesn't mean the same to me, a dressmaker, as couture or bespoke. These both imply designed and made exclusively for a single customer and never to be repeated. 'Custom made' would be to make a commercial pattern for a customer, paying great attention to fit and finish, and using many couture techniques. The design would not be unique to that one customer, though we *would* probably personalize it in the details of fabric choice and embelishment apllied. Couture made or bespoke means to me that I help the customer design their garments and choose fabrics and embellishments, and that these garments will be exclusive to that customer. I'll never make something the same again.

Never take your eye off the dollars! NO-ONE who is going to last is in business to make wedding dresses, hats, soap, washing machines, bread... They are in it to make money and the product or service they provide is their way of paying the bills. Some of these things are hand crafted with love AS WELL, but that isn't why they are sold.

OK, you really CAN call me cynical.

REPLY tp above:

When the shop can say they have been in business for over 50-years, then maybe I would believe their advertisement.

Would you believe: domain name is registered in China on October 7, 2007 and is already desperate enough to send spam through newsgroups on 11/8/08 using a sockpuppet.

WHOIS - shopforlover.com

Registrar: TUCOWS INC. Status: clientTransferProhibited Dates: Created 12-oct-2007 Updated 21-sep-2008 Expires 12-oct-2009 DNS Servers: NS11.IXWEBHOSTING.COM NS12.IXWEBHOSTING.COM Registrant: wei zhang No.79.1002.South Huangxing Road ShangHai China. shanghai, NA 200090 CN Domain name: SHOPFORLOVER.COM

Oh, and forward full headers to snipped-for-privacy@sewgirls.com, they do seem to take action against abusers of their system.

Beverly

My pleasure, Sun! And, for what it's worth, here is the response to my abuse report from the sewgirls.com admin:

Thank you again, [nym expunged].

I have terminated the spammer account. Also, we've added some spam protection features that will hopefully drastically reduce this type of spam coming from / showing up at our site.

Thank you again,

Sincerely, Dmitriy http://www,sewgirls.com/ So, taking the time to report these abusers may actually get results. Time will tell.

Beverly

Nice job Bev! I used to try to use the spam reporter through the Google reader but gave up when I couldn't tell if it did anything. Spam seemed to subside, but it always seems to come back in spurts.

So is this group hosted through sewgirls? I don't even remember how I found it anymore, I just get emails that new messages have been posted and they show up in a google reader.

Thanks + take care!

-Susan (aka Sunny) :)

Sunny, a word to the wise. Beverly gets very testy sometimes when people call her Bev. She's been known to jump off the computer screen and bite, lol. As to finding this group we are a usenet group, Check your newsreader for alt.sewing and join us first hand rather than second hand through Sew Girls. Juno

" By Jove, I think she's got it." You know me very well. Funny, how she didn't catch a clue when I addressed her as "Sun"... ;-)

Nah, I don't bite I just activate the killfile....

Seconded!

Beverly

Actually, I'm with Beverly on this. "Polite" is addressing people as they prefer to be addressed. In person, this is the name they use when introducing themselves, in text, as they sign their name. Abbreviating, or assigning nicknames to someone you've only just met is presumptuous.

Kathleen (Not Kathy, Kate, or Kat)

Well Tar, Since I'm the one who made the correction not Beverly and I do believe it was done in a joking manner, without hostility, perhaps you should take a deep breath, relax and enjoy the world a bit more. I also noted that you did not state a preference to how you wanted to be addressed so I'll continue to call you Tar until you Kindly note another preference. My preference is, as I will kindly note, Juno

Taria top posted:

"Wacky"??? May I assume then, that you will be fine if folks start addressing you as "Tar" "Tara" "Tiara" or "Aria"? Surely you won't be offended, you'll think of them as being extra friendly, right?

Question, how did you gather your information about what "most folks" do?

Using a name other than the one provided by an acquaintance is anything but a "polite gesture". Being "familiar" is for family and friends.

Indeed.

Beverly

Precisely! ;-)

Thanks, darlin'! ;-)

Bevelry

I'm 100% with you on this one, although I think there's even more to this than is immediately apparent.

For 20 odd years when I was working I always gave my surname when answering the telephone. The company I worked for went through a 'modernisation' phase in the 1970s, using an American firm of management consultants. One of their recommendations was that *everyone* from the MD downwards should move towards a 'first name' philosophy when talking to the customer. I hated it and refused to comply - as did my wife, who also worked for the same company!

In my book, my first name belongs to me. It's for me to invite others to use it, which I did once I'd found out how this group works and generally how friendly it is.

Sadly common courtesy and politeness seem to have died out.

And another thing, I *hate* guys who answer the 'phone as 'This is *Mister* whatever speaking'. Mr is a common politeness of address afforded to others, it's not a title to be assumed by an individual.

Now I'll climb down off me 'Obby 'Orse!

Of course, you do realise how I'd address you, Beverley, if I ever had the pleasure to meet and get to know you in person? Repeatedly! Just for mischief! :-)

Do you know how many ways there are to spell "Joanne"? Wow. Many! Add a last name that has seen many changes historically, and appears in many guises, even though the "correct" version is splashed across a certain line of low-priced sporting goods and sportswear.... well, the mind boggles. But my all-time favorite was when a co-worker in the state agency where I worked gave my name to a client....and thereafter, I received mail addressed to "Jonnie Mae Green." OK, so she didn't have the best Palmer Method cursive.

Actually Beverly, you are the only one until the rest of your little cheering party chimed in that has ever called me that. It isn't correct but sometimes folks just make mistakes and I allow for that. There is a reason this group is so little used. I had forgotten but I have been reminded. I'm outta here.

Taria

Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out! :-D

I might add that gratuitously lengthening a name also is presumptuous.

Really? What? Do tell!

We think much alike on this subject.

And I shall graciously refer to you as "Richarde", and I'm pretty sure the pleasure would be mutual. ;-)

Beverly