Dear people of the world,
Please help me, my name is Su Poole and I am an escapee from a country where beads are no longer used as currency. Therefore, I have found it intolerable to live there and have escaped barely with my life, my insanely large bead stash and three thousand greedy nephews, cousins, ex-husbands, former generals of the ***** army (country name deleted for security porpoises) and two suitcases full of slightly old clothing. In order to make good my escape I have placed my bead stash in the hands of my beloved third cousin twelve times removed and the only way I can get the greedy b******* to turn them loose again is to raise much money, or in the alternative start a completely new stash of beads.
I've been shopping on this thing they call eBay and have a proposition for you. Send me small amounts of money so that I can place things called bids on large collections of beads which will then be transported from other nations into my waiting hands.
What do you get out of this? Well, to be honest, nothing. Except perhaps the knowledge that you've done me the blessing of making me happy and helping me to enhance my life in full and meaningful ways. I promise that each and every bead purchased with your gullible donations will be put to some frivolous use such as decorating my house.
So, whaddaya say?
I present below the chosen items for my new life:
-Su