OT: Humor - with apologies in advance to the males in the group

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.

That is a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into he bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part.

You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull; all the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right.

How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you.

Now let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"

Now, doesn't THAT make more sense than that bullshit about the rib?

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

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vj
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I probably shouldn't pass this one on, but what the heck:

A three year old boy in his bath examined his testicles and asked, "Mommy, are these my brains?" Mom said, "Not yet, honey."

Val (just one of the guys, capable of laughing at all our foibles)

----- Original Message ----- From: "vj" Newsgroups: rec.crafts.beads Sent: Friday, February 20, 2004 7:13 PM Subject: OT: Humor - with apologies in advance to the males in the group

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

Now let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"

Now, doesn't THAT make more sense than that bullshit about the rib?

Reply to
VManes

Splurt!! Coffee alert..

Mavis

Reply to
AmazeR

OMG. OMG!!!! That's hilarious!! ROFL - thank you for the laugh, Vicki. :)

Reply to
Kandice Seeber

:)

Reply to
Kandice Seeber

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Kandice Seeber" :

]OMG. OMG!!!! That's hilarious!! ROFL - thank you for the laugh, Vicki. :)

felt like it was needed. glad you enjoyed it!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

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Reply to
vj

Has anyone noticed that Harry and Alex are absent in this thread? ;-)

Reply to
JL Amerson

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "JL Amerson" :

]Has anyone noticed that Harry and Alex are absent in this thread? ;-)

well, i DID apologize beforehand. and i didn't aim it at anyone here. ESPECIALLY Harry. it has more to do with my soon-to-be ex and total frustration than anything else. and the person who sent it to me knew that. but i probably shouldn't have shared it openly.

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

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----------- The measure of the menace of a man is not what hardware he carries, but what ideas he believes.-- Jeff Jordan

Reply to
vj

You know, I think even Harry and Alex chuckled privately. Alex is new around here but Harry seems pretty cool.

I've heard some female-bashing jokes that, in private, made me laugh. In public, I'd have blown off the joke teller. Life is waaaaaaaaaaaaay to short not to have sense of humor, even about ourselves.

Reply to
JL Amerson

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "JL Amerson" :

]I've heard some female-bashing jokes that, in private, made me laugh. In ]public, I'd have blown off the joke teller. Life is waaaaaaaaaaaaay to short ]not to have sense of humor, even about ourselves.

well, i sure hope so. sometimes, being able to laugh at something silly is the only thing that gets me through the day.

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

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Reply to
vj

Well, do you know why the crack in your heiney goes this way (_|_) and not this way (?)? Because if you went downa a sliding board it would go Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt!

(Okay, it's a visual joke - imagine running your fingers over your lips while going Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb.)

Reply to
JL Amerson

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "JL Amerson" :

]Well, do you know why the crack in your heiney goes this way (_|_) and not ]this way (?)? Because if you went downa a sliding board it would go ]Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt!

GROAN!!!!!!!!!!! yeah, those are the ones.

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

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Reply to
vj

My husband thought it was hilarious.

Tina

Reply to
Christina Peterson

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "Christina Peterson" :

]My husband thought it was hilarious.

oh, good!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

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vj

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