OT - British humour

Queen Elizabeth II (sometimes ungraciously referred to as Betty Windsor) is opening a new hospital in Scotland. She inspects the maternity ward and the the ER and then walks in to a small ward at the rear of the hospital. She asks the first patient she sees "How are we doing today?" He answers "Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty Wi bickering brattle!" The Queen nods and smiles and moves on to the next bed and asks "Well now, I do hope that you are feeling better?" To which the patient shouts "Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy of a grace As lang's my arm." The Queen moves quickly to a nice looking older man who greets her with a song, "Green grow the rashes, O; Green grow the rashes, O; The sweetest hours that e'er I spend, Are spent among the lasses, O." The Queen turns to the Doctor and whispers "Are we in the Mental Ward?" To which he replies "No, ma'am. This is the Burns Unit."

Reply to
Bruce
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Bruce ,in rec.crafts.textiles.needleworkwrote: and entertained us with

It becomes clear the males around here have the worst jokes ! Jokes ? Did I say jokes ?

Reply to
lucretia borgia

Methinks the wee tim'rous Scottish lassie is incensed!

Reply to
Gill Murray

OHHHH! ouch, that one hurts.... C

Reply to
Cheryl Isaak

I am so glad I am between cups of tea - it would be all over the monitor and keyboard!

C
Reply to
Cheryl Isaak

OOOOUUCH!

ellice

Reply to
ellice

Oh, dear. I daresay that I believe Bruce has just become King of Puns!!!

Joan

Reply to
Joan E.

Oh dear. Perhaps this will correct the situation: After the great flood Noah gathered all the animals on the beach and told them "We've all survived the perils of the flood, now you must all go forth and multiply." A very small snake replied with a sad voice "I can't multiply, I'm an adder." Noah thought for a while, then he went into the forest with an axe and cut down some trees. He brought them to the beach and constructed a small wooden table. When he had finished he said to the adder: "Now you will be able to multiply even though you're an adder. I've built you a log table!" (PS Why do mathematicians think Halloween and Christmas are the same? Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec)

Reply to
Bruce

Oh dear, a nerd and a punner.....

C
Reply to
Cheryl Isaak

Nobody's perfect

Reply to
Bruce

Reply to
Melinda Meahan - take out TRAS

Good thing you`re at a safe distance, Bruce, or you might get a good slapping!!! LOL!

Pat

Reply to
Pat P

Sounds nearly so to me! ;)

Reply to
Cheryl Isaak

LOL - I think the latter implies the former, but the former need not imply the latter.

Ellice, rd&h

Reply to
ellice

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