OT:Please think of my family's friend

I know that I have no right to ask, but if you have a kind thought or prayer, my family's friend could sure us some about now. The wife of my late Dad's hunting/fishing/confidant friend, and his best friend since around the time I was born, passed away very early Monday morning. She had been battling cancer for well over a year having found out shortly after my Dad died. She suffered a great deal but now her husband, son and daugher are.

I know that it is only coincidence, but she was the same age as my Dad and had been married the same number of years as my parents. It has brought a whole lot of feelings to the surface again so it has been a rather sad evening. Being so far away I can't make it back for the service and I feel rather small in not being able to do so.

Thanks

Steven Alaska

Reply to
steve
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Steven I'll send warm wishes and thoughts to you as well as your friends. Family and good friends are our strength in life for most of us and a passing is a sad event. Don't beat yourself up about not making it to the service, they'll feel your love through phone calls etc. Take care, Bron Oz

Reply to
Bronnie

Prayers and comforting thoughts on the way from Australia.

Reply to
DiMa

Oh Steven! I'm so very sorry for your friends loss, your loss and send loving prayers and thoughts your way. I know what you mean about feeling small about not attending the service. I was recently faced with that same decision....my DH recently passed and with him I lost my job, then my dad called and said he didn't have much time so my son and I traveled via airline the next day to see him and then he passed away two weeks later. At first I wasn't going to go, but for me there wasn't really a choice, I HAD to be there...maybe if it were someone else I'd have made a different decision, but never the less it wasn't and once I made the decision to go I was 100% better. I think they'll understand if you can't make it....for whatever reason...you just have to be at peace with yourself. Take care Steven.

Launie, in Oregon

Reply to
simpleseven

Reply to
Taria

Steven, Prayers and warm thoughts for your family's friend's family - and for you, also. It takes time to work through a loss, as you are finding out. Will keep all of you in my prayers. ME-Judy

Reply to
ME-Judy

Prayers being sent to you all from SC. Barbara

Reply to
Bobbie Sews More

Steven, I'm so sorry. Nothing will help you to feel better right now, I know. I remember when my own father died suddenly some years ago, and my DT was unable to come from France for the funeral. She felt terrible, and all I could do was to remind her that funerals are really for the living, and that everyone understood why she couldn't come. I'm sure that didn't really help her, but I do know that my own opinion was that Daddy had seen her just a couple of months before he died, and that was much more important than her attending the funeral.

I'm wondering if you were able to see this friend when you were home not too long ago? If so, *that* is the most important thing. If not, your good thoughts are just as important. Hang in there.

Reply to
Sandy

I'm sorry Steven, I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Denise

Reply to
Denise in NH

Steve, You have every right to ask! Good thoughts heading your (and their) way. I'm so sorry. Gen

Reply to
Gen

Steve, there's something you can do for your grieving loved ones that will be very meaningful even from so far away. Jot down little notes for a few days as things pop into your head - and write them a letter reminding them of happy times and fond memories. The letters we received that shared sweet events meant so very much to us when we lost our parents; they were/still are cherished. A card or letter that expresses sympathy is good but writing a letter reminding them of better days will be both good for you and loved by them. Polly

Reply to
Polly Esther

Steven, what's this about 'no right'? If sharing your pain and sadness helps you, even a little bit, then here is just the place where you have the 'right'.

I have just read what Polly said. It is so very true. I still have all the cards and letters I received when my parents died. Many of them included little snippets of things that Polly suggested. They were/are wonderful to read. Your letter will mean much to your Dad's dear friend. . In message , steve writes

Reply to
Patti

Dear Steve, many hugs and prayers at this sad time. Don't worry about not being there. Much more important is that you let your friends know you are with them in spirit. The time for "being there" most likely will be a bit down the road when they need a strong shoulder and a good friend.

Sunny

Reply to
onetexsun

I'm very sorry for your dad's friend's loss, and your loss too. Kind thoughts and gentle hugs, my friend.

Michelle in NV

Reply to
Michelle C

When I could not get to a certain funeral, I apologized to the son of the lovely woman. He said "Pat, you were there for her last Christmas, and helped make it very special for her, that is so much more important than coming for the funeral." So, Steve, just recall the times you did spend with your family's special friend and enjoy the memories. The next time you are in her neighborhood, you can visit her folks and share the memories of their wife/mom. Hugs, PAT

Reply to
Pat in Virginia

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