Im going to do a quick explanation with no gory details about my operation so everyone knows that I didnt get sent through a wringer. I had the type of gall bladder removal they used to do, and still do sometimes, instead of the easier to recover from laparoscopic type they prefer to do. So, instead of a set of tiny cuts I have a larger one, stapled shut, and two drain sites. The other part of the operation was a strange one where they ran a camera and other gizmos to the site of the stones via the mouth and got some out of the ducts. The reason my gall bladder needed this more invasive set of procedures was simply that there were so many stones and because they were large. Coctail onion size they said. While in the hospital I thought about what might and could happen while in surgery. I guess its inevitable to face ones own mortality, especially when we know we would leave precious little ones behind, but when I read the messages Mike printed and brought in from all of you I realized two things. Many of you had lived through these procedures and are happy for having done so. Second, I was not going to entertain the notion of leaving. Dying was not an option. I learned too that love can float around me and cradle me in times of fear. I felt very little. I dont know, or care what diety or entity you sent your prayers towards. I still feel them. They help me heal, because a body cant help but heal better when it feels happy, valued and loved. hmm...people have accused me of being effusive. Ill add maudlin to that list. Its your own problem if it seems over the top. In fact.. let me know if its over the top and Ill privately email you with MORE! buwahahahahahaha!!! hey, I dont LIKE whats happened to me... it hurts, but dang, you guys know how to do that love thing so nicely. My individual thanks will come as I have time and energy. I have a lot of them to do. I will do them with joy. Its so odd to feel so wonderfully happy. my love to you Diana I should probably let this sit overnight to edit later when Im not so high.. but.. i dont know.. is there a reason why I should not be this open with my feelings?
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