wedding wear

A cocktail dress, a suit (skirted or pants), or party-wear would be perfectly appropriate. From the way you say "a non-Indian wedding," I don't know if this would be helpful -- but the type of thing people would wear to church on Easter Sunday would also be okay.

How old are you and what do you generally like wearing for fancier occasions? THat might help people narrow things down to things you might actually like.

I'm not sure "party wear" would be a good term to use, today's standards seem to have changed, and, what some would wear to parties, wouldn't be acceptable for a wedding....

I would think, for an evening wedding something along these lines....

That should give you enough to get an idea of evening wedding attire :-)

I'm a guy and ignorant about the nuances of women's dress; but can't a woman wear appropriate and becoming Indian dress at a wedding? I would find it charming and it would give a cosmopolitan flair to the affair. The one rule I do know is: don't outshine the bride. I don't know what that means in practise.

Max

Not white (only for the bride) or black (only for funerals). Although I've been to weddings where both rules have been flouted, Miss Manners wouldn't approve. Also, if you get a matching dress, coat, hat, shoes and gloves everyone will think you're the mother of the bride.

Why not a sari, if you find them comfortable and they're what you'd usually wear to a wedding? If I were invited to a Pakistani wedding I'd wear my usual Western-style dressy trouser suit rather than salwaar kameez.

If you usually wear a sari or salwar kameez to weddings, wear that. Certainly in the UK and Indian person at a standard UK wedding would look fine in what they'd usually wear to a family wedding. Possibly a little exotic, but not out of place. I've been to weddings where there were saris, suits and posh frocks, kilts, and traditional African dress all going on at once. Much fun was had by all.

My sister went to a Mendhi (sp?) party last night, and they were going to find her a sari to wear to the reception next Sunday. She hasn't worn a sari since she was a student in the 70's, and is looking forward to it. She and another of the brides friends from work look like being the only white faces at the whole shindig. Sounds like glorious fun. Big Sis promised to take pix for me.

I know how you feel - but there's no need to stress! Some invites give a dress code like "formal", "smart casual" which helps. The other thing I've done is telephoned the person doing the inviting and asking about the dress code. I hate to say this - but unless you happen to only know the gentleman of the pair and he's good about describing clothes - ask the bride! I've had a couple of - shall we say interesting(!) results by asking the groom about the dress code!!!

If you are refering to indian weddings as meaning India/Sri Lanka/Pakistan etc.. then I'm sure a pretty sari or salwar kameeze (apologies for spelling!) would be more than acceptable.

Personally, I'd aim for something a bit smarter / prettier / posher than normal but not super formal. Above all, wear something you're comfortable wearing - you'll enjoy the event better and thats the important thing. Over the last couple of weddings I've been to, I've found what guests wore varied greatly - the wedding I went to most recently had everything from very posh to what might be termed vaguely smart casual (and that was the brides brother who turned up in black trousers, a black jacket and had a thin round necked jumper on underneath!) - so you can see its not something to worry about too much. One wedding I went to a couple of years back included a barn dance - so I made very sure what I wore was suitable for dancing - just don't do what I did and wear 2" heeels! (lets just say there was an ouch moment that evening!).

HTH

Sarah

Sarah wrote: ...

A barn dance in a barn, or traditional country dancing in a reception hall?

--Karen D. who does not own any shoes having heels, since that's what I do just about every weekend

Hi Karen,

It was billed as a barn dance, but was held in a reception hall and was I suspect (being no expert on these things!) more traditional country dancing than barn dancing. I don't think the UK has quite the tradition of barn dancing that the USA does.

I'd made sure my outfit was loose and had plenty of movement in it, but was vain enough to wear my best shoes with the 2" heels (chunky heels not spikes!)....... luckily I only turned my ankle over rather than twisting it. Still, I had a great evening - quite wore myself out.

I learnt my leason well - the next wedding I went to included a celeigh (spelling!) and I wore close fitting shoes with only a small 1" heel of the very chunky variety - much better and the only thing stopping me dancing was exhaustion!

Sarah

Barn dance = traditional country dance. Generally, when folks hear "country" and "dance" used in the same sentence, they come in boots, jeans, hats, big belt buckles, and Western shirts, expecting to do line dancing without a partner. "Barn dance" pretty well conveys "this is a hoedown and similar to square dancing."Biggest difference is the venue; barn dances tend to be held, um, in a barn.

Flat-soled shoes. Make the outfit fancier on top (or wear a big necklace); no one's looking at your feet.

ceili is another (a bride once wrote me about "kayley dancing" and I knew what she wanted)

Natural fabrics are your friends.

At contra dances (the modern equivalent of a barn dance) the best dancers wear the flashiest clothes. Y'all quit thinking about ballroom fluffy sequin gowns. I'm talking about 4 yds of a nice design of quilter's cotton made into something with a lowish neckline, short sleeves, big skirt, pockets. Seasonal prints are a big hit. My dancing Santa couple & elves hits the stage on Friday!

--Karen D. BYO mistletoe

It means that they don't know themselves!

What's appropriate for a wedding varies with region, with social groups within regions, with the time of year and the time of day and the whim of the bride. The only constant rule is that you can't wear a white dress unless you are the bride -- and I'll bet *that* varies too. (Aren't there places where the bride wears red?)

Wear a sari -- it's the only sure way of fitting in. (If it encodes an inappropriate meaning, the other guests won't be able to read it.)

I have seen skirted business suits at weddings. At the latest wedding, the mother of the bride wore a maroon suit with matching shoes. (I think the all-matching rule is a new one; nobody mentioned it in 1964.)

This is the wrong newsgroup entirely for the following remark:

This discussion reminds me of a scene from Bujold's "Cetaganda" -- student ambassador Miles, about to attend a formal affair of empire-shaking importance, where the social rules are very complex and completely unknown to foreigners such as our protagonist, is advised: "Wear your uniform. A uniform is always correct, or at least not your fault."

Joy Beeson

Yay! Another Bujold fan!!! ;-)

I learnt so long ago that I don't remember where or when, that a military uniform is correct for any occasion. A friend has a framed invitation from Queen Elizabeth (the present one, not the old queen)--or the secretary who writes "Her Majesty has commanded me to invite you...." in which the dress required for men is either lounge suits (what we would call a suit) or dress uniform.

"Cetaganda" -- student ambassador Miles, about to attend a > > formal affair of empire-shaking importance, where the social > > rules are very complex and completely unknown to foreigners > > such as our protagonist, is advised: "Wear your uniform. A > > uniform is always correct, or at least not your fault." > > > > Joy Beeson > > Yay! Another Bujold fan!!! ;-) > --

Hi Joy,

I love these books - I've not managed to read them all yet. Miles reminds me a bit of one of my friends........

Now my library has finally got online access I shall have to find time to see if they have any more of them available!

Sarah

i'm a big Bujold fan too. I'm not short, just....concentrated.

------------------------------------------------------ Wendy Z Chicago, IL (Moo) Wench Wear Costumes