Funny or Stupid Questions I Hear at Shows

How 'bout the one that spends 10 minutes telling you about the one her grandmother had while you want to talk to other customers. Of course she doesn't buy one daggone confounded thing. Glenn Hodges Nashville, Ga

it's worse when you give them a cell phone and call them and get "hi! how did you know where I was?"

when you get to that point, "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you" is pretty effective..

Actually not too bad a question now - with call forwarding and cell phones. But, yes, "Are you home?" still sounds odd even though it is a good question.

Sorry, the stupidest phone question is from my days in dorms and barracks.

The phone in the hall rings until you or some other sap goes to answer it.

"Hi, is Charlie Potatoes there?" "Who?" "Charlie, lives in 322." "This is the _first_ floor phone." "Well, could you see if he's there, it's kind of important?"

Well, stupid enough to answer, stupid enough to go, and no, he's not there.

"He's not there."

Then - the stupidest phone question:

"Do you know when he'll be back?"

That's a good one. I'll be using that if you don't mind:)

One I hear a lot is 'do you make this?'

Probably the most annoying comments I get, other than people pretending to hit one another with spurtles and dibbers, is 'Beautiful work' as they glide by my booth with hardly a glance. I'm always sorely tempted to reply 'yes, I know' but I suspect that sarcasm is beyond their intellectual capacity. Second most annoying is 'its such a lot of work', from people who have absolutley no idea of how much work is involved, or more importantly, how much skill is involved.

I do my best to educate people about woodturning and fine craftsmanship, but in too many cases its just a waste of breath:(

"Are you home" is one thing. But if I'm talking to her on a telephone it should be intuitively obvious to the most casual observer that I am within talking distance of the phone on which I am talking.

"But you didn't make this one."

"Sure I did."

"You couldn't have. Your name isn't on the bottom like the others."

I thought he was joking at first, but he was dead serious. I informed him that I hadn't gotten to signing them all yet, and was in that very process. Although he was a bit suspicious at first, his suspicions were allayed somewhat when I showed him three or for other pieces still to be signed. I think it helped that I had my special pen there too. He ended up buying it, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

If they mean "There" as a specific location, you may not be 'there', but somewhere else - forwarded to your cell phone or a neighbor's house. I know it sounds dumb but in a way it is a legitimate question.

Considering the number of booths at a lot of "craft" shows selling made-in-china/taiwan/other-slave-labour-country, that might be a pretty fair question.

Not just to pick on you, but I have found a lot of complaints in this thread odd. It is as if you might expect your customers to be turners or at least craftsman; not only are they not, true craftsmanship is getting so far from your typical urbanite that they have no clue. This is not stupid, it is sad.

PK

Fortunately that doesn't happen too much around here, and I wouldn't go back to a show which permitted this.

I agree with you totally. Like I said, I do try to educate people as much as I can, but often I will quickly realise that the ROI is going to be nil, and that they are determined to buy something with santa painted on it. They are better off going to another booth that suits their requirements, leaving me free to make a pitch to a better qualified punter.

Having said that, we still get people come into the studio, look through the viewing window into the workshop, and still ask if I make this stuff here. I think my response is usually based more on their attitiude and tone than it is to the actual question. I must admit that I respond better to the intelligent and inquisitve than I do to those lacking in those qualities.

To refresh your memory, my original observation was:

"I'm reminded of a girl I used to date who one day called me up and when I answered the first thing she said was "Are you near a phone?""

Note--NEAR A PHONE. Not "there". Not "home". Please try to read more carefully in the future.

Of course, I realize that this is a 'fun thread' for all of us to laugh, scratch & share with each other. In the world of shows, it's best to explain why their question is funny and make a friend. Probably best not to mention stupidity; that's often in the insensibility of the beholder. Some mighty smart people don't know much about woodturning. They might be thinking of buying a turning for someone who knows more then about the craft than I do.

I'm still smarting from the smirks & laughter at an EMT meeting years ago in which I mistakenly thought 'running lights' meant thru 'stop lights' instead of having their lights flashing. Stupidity is often confused with not knowing the jargon.

Turn to Safety, Arch Fortiter

Code Two.

Another twist to the "dumb" questions from customers: I attended a workshop on sales techniques that was put on by Bruce Baker (somewhat well known in the crafts world for his tapes and articles on the subject). He suggested that the "dumb" questions like "did you make this" or "how long did this take you" are really not requests for acutal information but what he calls "giving you permission to sell". The concept is that the customer is just saying something, anything, to get you to start talking about your work. It's not about the actual question, but about the customer wanting to know more about the work and letting you know it. This really opened my eyes to a new perspective. So know when they ask how long it takes, I launch into a description of the process, or my inspiration, or anything I can come up with. But the question that really makes me roll my eyes and groan is "what is woodturning? what is a lathe?"......

CD boulder, co

About 300 million years ago when I was in high school everybody knew what a lathe was and nobody knew what a hard drive was. Now they all know computers inside and out, but don't know which end of a gouge to sharpen! I haven't done craft shows in a number of years, but when I did I always wanted a TV/VCR sitting there showing how a bowl is made. I figured it would draw a a crowd and explain a lot at the same time.

Never did get around to doing that but if I ever start doing craft shows again I well may. My wife bought a small TV w/built in VCR so it would be a breeze to set up...

...Kevin

I did a pictorial essay, and I have it on the table with my bowls. It saves me a lot of breath. The people all think that my bowls were turned from the end of the log, and are really surprised when they see the steps involved in turning a bowl from a log to the finished product. Glenn Hodges Nashville, GA.

Not exactly at a show, but I was showing some pieces to a saleswoman at my local Saturn dealership, since she had expressed an interest in them while we were in the process of buying our latest Saturn. Anyhow, an older gentleman "greeter" was standing close at hand, looking at the pieces as well, and was admiring a 10" cherry semi-closed-form bowl. Holding it gingerly and turning it over in his hands, he asked, "Did you ever think of painting people's names on them, to personalize them?"

(Uggh!)

I said, "Uh, no, I don't think I'm going to be trying that."

-- Chuck *#:^) chaz3913(AT)yahoo(DOT)com Anti-spam sig: please remove "NO SPAM" from e-mail address to reply. <

September 11, 2001 - Never Forget