On 2005-03-15 snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com said: >Newsgroups: alt.sewing >Just for you cea- my American friend sent me these Dog Haikus >Michelle >Italy Oh fine! Michelle.
May I even up the score with:
CAT HAIKUS
The food in my bowl Is old, and -more to the point - Contains no tuna.
So, you want to play. Will I claw the dancing string? Your ankle's closer.
There's no dignity In being sick -which is why I don't tell you where.
Seeking solitude I am locked in the closet. For once, I need you.
Tiny can, dumped in Plastic bowl. Presentation, One star; service: none.
Am I in your way? You seem to have it backwards: This pillow's taken.
Your mouth is moving; Up and down, emitting noise. I've lost interest.
The dog wags his tail, Seeking approval. See mine? Different message.
My brain: walnut-sized. Yours: largest among primates. Yet, who leaves for work?
Most problems can be Ignored. The more difficult Ones can be slept through.
My affection is conditional. Don't stand up, It's your lap I love.
Cats can't steal the breath Of children. But if my tail's Pulled again, I'll learn.
I don't mind being Teased, any more than you mind A skin graft or two.
So, you call this thing Your "cat carrier." I call These my "blades of death."
Toy mice, dancing yarn, Meowing sounds. I'm convinced: You're an idiot.
Mechanical sound. I don't need an audience. Comes now the hairball.
[with affectionate thanks to whoever posted them, probably to the Net-Tamer (e-mail & browser program) forum sometime in the 1990's!]
Tom Willmon Mountainair, (mid) New Mexico, USA
Where did I get all these kittens? - Mehitabel
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