OT-New pics on our family website...

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "KDK" :

]well I'm getting to see this in action with my BF's 2 girls 13 and 9 - who ]seem to be at that stage where whatever 1 wants to do the other absolutely ]DOES NOT want to do that.

**sigh** that one can get really tough.

**HUGS**

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

newest creations: ----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all.

~~ Sooz

------- "Those in the cheaper seats clap. The rest of you rattle your jewelry." John Lennon (1940 - 1980) Royal Varieties Performance ~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from snipped-for-privacy@aol.compuppies (Dr. Sooz) :

]That pond is just AMAZING. Brides are always being photographed there on ]weekends.

there was actually a wedding going on while we were there.

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

newest creations: ----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all.

Oh lordy, I know how that goes too! We only have one cat right now, though, so at least they can't fight over my horizontal space.

-Kalera

KDK wrote:

Thanks! So far when no sibling agreement can be reached we do what BF wants to do :) (which is usually fine with me). I don't put a give a lot of input cuz I don't want to appear to be "taking sides"

Tee hee - well Lily (my climber) will actually climb UP me if I'm standing and she decides she needs to be on me. She's silly.

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "KDK" :

]I don't put a give a lot of ]input cuz I don't want to appear to be "taking sides"

smart lady!!!!!

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

newest creations: ----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all.

On Wed, 7 Apr 2004 3:42:17 -0400, KDK wrote (in message ):

a few solutions: Rock, paper, scissors, cutting a deck of cards, flipping a coin (one flips, the other calls it in the air)

or - marking on the calendar whose day it is to be in charge. In charge means first at all things, not just the good stuff. Sure you get to pick where we go to dinner, but you also are the one I'm going to pick to clean the bathroom. And if you stall too much cleaning the bathroom, so sorry, we all have to stay in and have braised liver for dinner, and it will be your fault. (last portion for the benefit of the sibling who is just out of sight, but avidly listening to the whole conversation in case she can point out some tidbit of favoritism)

I do have to point out that ages nine and thirteen are totally different, developmentally, and neither age is particularly "easy." The younger one is just getting to discover the glorious world of cliques, and no one posting could cover the insecurities and hormones that is the world of a thirteen year old girl. Doing some separate activities and some "family" activities can be really helpful.

Even your family things can have elements that appeal to both ages - here in Boston, I can think of the Museum of Science (let everyone scatter for an hour, then meet at the gift shop.), a Duck Tour, going to the outdoor fruit and vegetable market, whale watching, going to the beach, driving to every MacDonald's you can think of, and buying one happy meal, which you all share. (I did that once with a vanload of kids, and we hit at least 15 MacDonalds in an afternoon. It was hysterical to see them doling out french fries one at a time). Things that keep them physically on the move are great, because they can get a lot of their pent up feelings out without arguing.

If you're just going to kick back for the weekend, I strongly suggest allowing each girl to bring a friend. Sure, it's twice the kids, but it will only be half the work. Each girl will be too busy plotting with her own guest to waste time messing with her sister. The worst combination of all is allowing one to bring a friend, and not the other. No matter which way you do it, two of the kids are going to gang up on the third.

If at all possible, let each girl have some small space that is hers alone, that she doesn't need to share with her sister, and can escape to when things get to be too much. If they have to share a bedroom, consider putting up a folding screen to divide the room (with a full easement on one side of the room, so the other sister can get in and out the door.) I strongly suggest that each kid have her own Walkman that stays at your house, too - music is so personal and important at that age, and it's a way to tune out your obnoxious sister. Label each walkman with the owner's name, to prevent fights.

Hope this helps,

Kathy N-V

Thanks! I think my sis gave me the best advice before I met the girls (this is the first guy I've dated that's had kids) - she told me to treat them like little sisters. That's been working so far.

Great advice - as usual - Kathy. Unfortunately he only gets them every other weekend, so there's not much of an opportunity for 1 on 1 time.

And oh yeah the diffs between 9 and 13 are HUGE!! They are both pretty good at going along with whatever the plan for the day turns out to be. And I think we are at the one girl gets her pick one Sunday and the other the next Sunday stage. Now that the weather is nice, we've been mostly doing outside stuff - gets them outside and exposed to nature - and uses up some of their energy - and lets us (we're both nature freaks) be outside as well on Saturdays.

Also right now the space situation isn't great. He lives with a roommate (roommate owns the house- and it's a small house) so while they are there there isn't much space of their own. That may be remedied in the future :)

Thanks for the advice!

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "KDK" :

] she told me to treat them ]like little sisters. That's been working so far.

**smile** it will work until the first time you have to "exert authority".

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

newest creations: ----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all.

That sounds like perfect advice!

-Kalera

KDK wrote:

Does that mean you can punch them in the face with impunity, until they get bigger than you are? Once they're bigger than you, you'll have to move.

;-0

Kathy N-V

Yes but I'm the adult older sister :)

Actually I had them all by myself Friday and they were fine. They actually didn't argue much at all (argue = pick at each other as only siblings can do)

only when the nails need to be trimmed - which is NOW!

Ha ahahahahaha!!

My little sister outgrew me quite a while ago - fortunately there were enough years between us that we never did physical fighting.

vj found this in rec.crafts.beads, from "KDK" :

]Yes but I'm the adult older sister :)

**smile** there is that. you have to hear "you're NOT MY MOTHER, I DON'T HAVE TO MIND YOU" only so many times.

]Actually I had them all by myself Friday and they were fine. They actually ]didn't argue much at all (argue = pick at each other as only siblings can ]do)

good deal! possibly because SO wasn't around for them to bicker about/around/to get attention from?

----------- @vicki [SnuggleWench] (Books)

newest creations: ----------- I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising liberty and justice for all.

Well so far I haven't heard that lovely argument - thank goodness!

And I think you may be right about the lack of a "target" for the bickering. They already no I don't react to it.

Kathy K