TIDBITS 07/29/07

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We encourage you to forward this email to friends and colleagues. ====================================== Wedding Band of Torture Quaint title ... eh wot? So listen ... here's the hypothesis. Your mate is dying for a fling. He/she wants to nibble away at the fruit of another tree. A taste perhaps. A quick snack. Nothing more. You ... on the other hand ... stand firm ... legs apart and firmly planted on parquet flooring ... arms akimbo ... lips compressed. Nay nay sweet boid of yute. T'was for better or worse ... remember? And besides ... the wedding bands ... till death do us part and all that. Remember again?

Mate allows the slightest smirk cross his/her features. Yes yes. Of course dearie. Heh heh. Little does better half know that wedding bands are easy to remove. A little soap ... slips right off. Put it away till later ... till the trusted tryst has trundled along it's merry way.

Ah ... but here's where you have a surprise for matey. Close your eyes, you say in your sweetest. Stick out your finger. And you take off the old ... and slip on the new. A wedding band just for you me love.

Horrors! Egad. How could he/she do this to you. It won't come off ... this bloody thing. It won't come off without drawing blood ... and perhaps not even then. Needles and pins and daggers and swords. What kind of evil concoction is this? I trust there'll be no tryst, you say. And you ... eyes lowered ... crestfallen ... slink away with the wedding band of torture firmly planted on your finger.

Yes yes dear friends. This ring exists. I found a picture of it whilst walking the sidewalks of New York City. Easy to put on. Very difficult to take off. Needles on the inside swing one way. What mind thinks of these things, you may well ask. Let me say this. We live in a straaaange world we do we do.

For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits...may I direct you to my home page at

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where you will scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says Current Tidbits ... and then click on it in order to view the astounding Wedding Band of Torture.

And there ya have it. That's it for this week folks. Catch you all next week. Benjamin Mark