OT: Another oldie but goodie

NEW DRUGS. Some we need, some we need for our SO's. ______________________ St. Mom's Wort Plant extract that treats mom's depression and saves her sanity, by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. _____________________________ Empty Nestrogen Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. ______________________________ Peptobimbo Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. _____________________________ Dumerol When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. _____________________________ Flipitor Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. ______________________________ Antiboyotics When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. _____________________________ Menicillin Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?" _____________________________ Buyagra Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. ______________________________ Extra Strength Buy-One-all When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. ______________________________ JackAsspirin Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. _____________________________ Anti-talksident A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. ______________________________ Sexcedrin More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. ______________________________ Ragamet When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.