OT: Credit Card rant -- a loooong one too!

(((Tia Mary))).....if it helps, when my aunt passed, it was the same situation, only she owed something to the tune of $15,000 to the credit card folks. Her estate attorney told my mom (her executress) that since Mom wasn't on the account, the credit card people could not harrass her and that when they called or wrote, she was to give them his name and number. (In the end, the Visa folks didn't get paid, and somehow Mom got the life insurance benefit free and clear.) I know (trust me, I know!) it's hard not to get upset, but just pass the court papers on to the lawyer. For a nominal fee he should be able to write a letter telling these, ahem, *people* to stop harrassing you, that there is nothing left to pay them with. You have more important things to be concerned with besides a credit card company.

Carolyn (who lost her father when she was 15 and still has a hard time once in a while.....)

Tia Mary wrote:

Huge hugs and at least no one attempted to steal DF's identity. Some one tried to get several loans in my FIL's name about 6-12 months after he died.

Hugs, I'll think of something to cheer you up!

Cheryl

Bingo.

They take the chance that they will run into some family member so distraught, or so easily cowed into thinking that "Mama would want me to pay off this bill, it's the right thing to do", that they might get money they'd otherwise have to write off.

Apparently, my ex-creep is behind on his bills again, because I'm getting phone calls from people who, in all seriousness, ask wouldn't I want to pay the bill current? I wouldn't have to pay the whole $5000, just the $100 past due. No, I would NOT like to pay bills he ran up since the divorce, for which I have no legal obligation. But apparently they think it's worth a try to call me and see if I knuckle under.

This can be so disheartening. We had insurance on our credit cards and when DH's hospital closed down we used that to get through. But one credit card company gave us fits and tried to stall and stall putting the insurance into effect and then reporting us to the credit bureau. Our other card through Capital One was hassle free.

Well, that probably is the best advice. There's little you can do but follow instructions and hire an attorney if necessary. They're just trying to collect their money. They might not get it if the estate isn't large enough. In the meantime, try not to let this get to you. These companies thrive on that!

I understand. My brother and I had some wrangling when my father died about 30 years ago. I didn't like my father very much and this caused a great deal of angst. But you know what? The last few months I've had the most fond memories of him, and I remembered what his sister said to me: Just have patience and try not to feel bitter. In time you will find peace. And I did. And it's really great. Not like excusing his behavior. More like acceptance and understanding.

Dianne

Hugs to you. As others have said already--let the attorney deal with these idiots. That's what he/she is paid to do.

I will defend the folks who gave you the information over the phone. They probably work for an independent inbound call center and are reading from a script. They don't have the power to make decisions. They likely do not work for the same company nor are they in the same state (or country even) as those who are sending the letters.

The finance department which IS sending out the letters is using a very cruel scare tactic. The reality is they will not go to court over $600. That is chump change to them and the court costs would probably exceed any amount they could get from the estate anyway. If they can scare any amount out of you, they'll take it. Otherwise, they will just write it off and uncollectible. These guys all know it often takes an entire year to settle even the smallest estate so they can just cool their heels.

Mayo can wait also. Make sure all government obligations (especially property taxes, if any) are met first. If you receive collection calls, just give them the lawyer's number/address and say that is who is handling the prioritizing of outstanding obligations--if they want to get on the list, they MUST contact the lawyer end-of-story. Report continued harassment to the police. These are not YOUR debts.

Do pull a copy of a credit report in your father's name to make certain all those credit accounts are really closed. Some card companies refuse to close an account with a balance due unless ordered by a court to do so.

Take a deep breath and hug the kitties. Have nice dreams of ty> OK, I'm ready to spit nails and I can hear whomever is reading this

Have nice dreams of tying down

I like that idea. MW should make them gag and beg for mercy.

Tia, would you like some nice ort collections to use in the RCTN version of "tar and feather"? :)

Tia Mary wrote:

Hey Girl - we're all here for you. Hell we all rant and rave and *go on* when the topic p***es us off - that's nothing to worry about. I've just dealt with my Mother's useless piece of crap doctor - I'd like to strangle him. She's 92 and in a special care home - and the government says she owes over $600 on income tax unless I can get a disability form signed by her doctor. We submitted her tax form in late February and this is still going on. I took the form to him, he wrote FIVE illegible words on it and charged her $50.00!! I submitted it - gov comes back with original letter to him, copy to me, that not enough info was supplied and he is to fill out the form in a better fashion. Doc's secretary just phoned me TWO WEEKS ago to tell me that the doctor needs another $25.00 to fill out the form. He's had the letter from the gov for months. Oh yeah!!! Did I see RED!!! You bet your booty I did. I told her I'd had enough with this idiot called a doctor and unless he filled the form in and sent it immediately that I was contacting my local MLA and also the media. She said she'd talk to him. I got a notice from the government a couple of days ago that a cheque had been directly deposited into my Mother's account. Threaten the buggers - tell them to contact your attorney (and hang up quickly if you don't have one) and continue to do it - they will harrass you - I'm sure they have a quota on the number of harrassing calls they are to make to you before they give up. Laugh loudly into the phone and hang up. It's probably a call centre calling you to harrass you anyway - screw them. Loosen up - you're a strong woman. Hey - and men are men ...... what planet do they really come from? :-))

Sharon (N.B.)

Tia Mary wrote: my father passed away in

Tia Mary, I am so sorry about your dad. Prayers going up for you.

You don't even have to deal with the credit card company.. Just get an original death certificate, put it in an envelope and send it to them. That's what I had to do with mother when I was executrix of what little she left. Frances

You have a hell of a lot on your plate right now, and dealing with corporate automatons is no picnic under the best of circumstances. Please see your doctor about some short term medication. It can help stabilize your mood so that you can get done what needs to be done. Remember that you need to take care of yourself too.

Sara

Tia Mary - big hugs to you. IT is always frustrating. We still get stuff, and have a huge error on a credit report from DH's mom who died in 93. We just politely, or snippily, respond with the facts.

Do as others have suggested - don't get emotional about this - no one can come after you. Mark the papers, send them back, and also give them to your estate lawyer. If you're having issues with medical bills, etc - and don't have an estate lawyer, you can likely get one for a nominal amount. This is straightforward stuff - and even if you're a normally intelligent, capable person - it's difficult to deal with when you're also emotionally distressed.

My parents passed away 12 years ago, and I still want to call them on Sunday evenings - it gets easier to cope with, but you still will have your feelings, and old habits.

It sounds like you've had a rough few years. Have you considered joining a grief counseling/support group - either through your community or the local hospital or a religious group? That may help you, and give you a venting and support network that you cannot get from your friends and family -who love you, but don't react the same way as you. Perhaps you should see if your doctor (who you like?) has some suggestions. Maybe a single grief counselor/therapist - and if you need happy pills, they could presecibe something appropriate to help you.

Good luck - and well, we all have our rant days, don't we?

ellice

You know, it just this minute dawned on me that I might have been reacting to the whole hunting thread not just because of the killing but because of the *dying*! Even tho' I didn't particularly like my Dad and I'm relieved that he's finally crossed the Rainbow Bridge, I did want to be with him when he passed. I don't really feel guilty about not being there because I was scheduled to be there the following week -- he just decided it was time to up and die. I'm still upset that he died and I wasn't there and I kept thinking about those wild animals dying and it really bothered me -- more than it ever has in the past! And don't give me any grief about the cows either or I'll have to send you a special delivery package of used cat litter or something, OK ;-) ! CiaoMeow >^;;^<

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at

That makes a lot of sense and does put some perspective on just a bit of your take on things at the moment. Grief is a very weird thing. DH spent much of the summer ANGRY at his parents and he loved them a lot, but part of grieving over losing his mom this spring was being mad at her.

I understand *exactly* how you feel, Mary, and I'm right there with you.

And ditto! (my grandmother, but yes, same effect)

AH -- but I bet you don't have any Himalayan used cat litter! As for the yard stuff -- maybe I could use it to kill off the poison ivy in the back along the garden path??? CiaoMeow >^;;^<

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at

Ahhhhh, that sounds more like you! :)

(((((((((Tia Mary)))))))))

Joan

Well, ya know, I still have the same opinions but I'm just not as intense in my desire to tell everyone about them -- LOLOL! Remember at CATS we very lightly touched on "that topic" and decided we wouldn't really talk about it because we KNEW we felt differently :-)! That's my normal mode of behaviour in public settings. Now, because you were so patient with MOI, I'd be happy to send you a nice kitty cat care package too if my kind offer to Elizabeth has you feeling left out. How's that sound (r,d&H)?!?!? CiaoMeow >^;;^<

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at