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OT-For the wordaholics

for the wordaholics among us----

Oxymoron's

  1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

  1. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

  2. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

  1. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

  2. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

  1. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

  2. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

  1. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

  2. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

  1. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

  2. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

  1. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

  2. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

  1. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

  2. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

  1. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

  2. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

  1. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  2. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

  1. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

  2. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

  1. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

  2. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

  1. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

  2. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

  1. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

  2. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
Reply to
Lucille
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Thank you, Lucille.

You have started my afternoon off right!

Snicker,

Lucy

Reply to
Crewelwoman

A friend admits that when he had a wife to do the laundry, he had no problem using several towels for each shower, even though she made that observation.

The logic of it didn't hit home till he had to start doing his own laundry, and it seemed an awful waste of all those quarters (and hours at the laundromat) to be doing a load of towels every couple of days.

Reply to
Karen C - California

You may like the following list of the World's Shortest Books:

Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu Everything Men Know about Women Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific The Amish Phone Book The Australian Book of Foreplay Beauty Secrets by Barbara Cartland Britain's Most Popular Lawyers The Book of Motivated Postmen The Code of Ethics for Lawyers Americans' Guide to Etiquette The World Guide to Good American Beer Royal Family's Guide to Good Marriages Safe Places to Travel in the USA Bill Clinton: A Portrait of Integrity Contraception by Pope John Paul II The Complete Guide to Catholic Sex The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Foot Consumer Marketing Ethics Career Opportunities for History Graduates Easy UNIX Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette Great Women Drivers Of Today Home Built Airplanes by John Denver Things I Love About Bill by Hillary Clinton Things I Can't Afford by Bill Gates The Wild Years by John Major

-- Bruce Fletcher Stronsay, Orkney

Reply to
ricardian

  1. Why is there Braille on drive through ATMs?
  2. Why are there *interstate* highways in Hawaii?
Reply to
Magic Mood Jeep©

I wonder that one all the time!

C
Reply to
Cheryl Isaak

Bad Lucille! No grammar or spelling awards for you!

Prolly because it's the same model machine as they use for the walk ups. Cheaper to mass produce with Braille than to produce without specially for the drive throughs

Elizabeth

Reply to
Dr. Brat

I wondered about that but I was too lazy to change it. I guess that's why nobody ever offered me a job as an editor !!!! lol

Lucille

Reply to
Lucille

Giggle - love them - saved to my "Fun" file.

Marg

Reply to
MargW

Well - he didn't - even Samuel Johnson's 1755 dictionary, while sometimes credited as the first english dictionary, is not. It is Cawdrey's 1604 alphabetical list that is considered the first.

Because they also tug

Only if you don't understand that it is derived from a Greek word and is indeed spelled the way it sounds.

A suit is still a garment, and the suitcase was originally were you put your suit of clothes when travelling

You've haven't smelled a three day old towel used by a teenager.

Many glues need to dry to stick. Leave the top off a bottle of glue and you'll soon find it does stick.

Because it is an extension of a radio set - where the 'set' originally referred to the set of radio tubes

Marg (the pedantic)

Reply to
MargW

I'm going to add one more, but the credit really must be given to George Carlin

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Lucille>

Reply to
Lucille

And yet you missed bra is a short form of brassiere. Brassiere is french for bodice, ergo it wouldn't be plural unless you had more than one garment. :-)

Tara

Reply to
Tara D

Exactly - there were several more there that could also have been pointed out as non-oxymoronic (is that even a word?) I know it was a joke (although I tend to sometimes take things too literally), but there are also people who really do think these things make no sense.

Marg

Reply to
MargW

These things really don't have to make sense. Just for the heck of it I looked up the word joke and here's the Merriam Webster definition:

Main Entry: 1joke Pronunciation: 'jOk Function: noun Etymology: Latin jocus; perhaps akin to Old High German gehan to say, Sanskrit yAcati he asks

1 a : something said or done to provoke laughter; especially : a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist b (1) : the humorous or ridiculous element in something (2) : an instance of jesting : KIDDING K9=C)*R![L8J&4S.T4`.P`` ` end
Reply to
Lucille

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