OT New Poll - other things we do?

Shoulda said so. Coulda nabbed it when you were here. It lives in that book case on the third floor. It's on my get to list, but I haven't gotten to it yet, so it could come visit you.

Elizabeth

Here's a place to start:

It's kinda hokey, but I found a lot of it really helful, especially the part about cleaning your sink every night and committing to spend just

15 minutes on something. I was amazed at how much weeding I could get done in 15 minutes. Three 15 minute sessions and my yard's done. 15 minutes cleans the bathroom. Anyway, I recommend it as worth a try for those of us who aren't born organized.

Elizabeth

Coming late to this but I do all kinds of needlework. Lately I'm knitting more than stitching.

My biggest hobby is my dogs. The older one competes in agility and obedience. The younger one competes in agility and breed and is training in obedience and tracking.

My house is under renovation, so I spend a lot of time painting and patching and scraping wall paper.

I also sew, collage, bead, read almost any kind of fiction, garden (day lilies!), sing, and spend time on the computer.

Elizabeth

Thank you!

Cheryl

I've been trying to fly - it has some good stuff, but other parts are a bit sappy.

Cheryl

LOL, that's the only thing I've been unable to kill. :-)

It's been in the spare bedroom (very little light) about 6 months now, and I haven't watered it since it went in there. I put in there until I could repot it or toss it out. Repotting seems to the winning options since it still keeps growing.

Tara

Full agreement here...

Addie

Yep. I kept trying to impress on the ex that if he would take two seconds to wipe up spilled food when he spilled it, it was faster than leaving it for days so I'd have to spend 5 minutes chiseling it off.

Ditto the bathroom: wipe the sink/mirror/tub when you use it and that's one less chore for Saturday.

Because I put things away daily, it took me 45 minutes on Saturday to do the whole apartment, while the clothes were in the dryer. By 11 AM Saturday, I was out to play. Same apartment, only difference that DH had moved in, it took all day Saturday to pick up and put away. Took me

45 minutes just to get the kitchen clean enough to start cleaning, because of course, if we take something out to reach what's behind it, we cannot possibly put it back on the shelf it came from.

Hi all, I love a lot of outdoors sports. I like to bike, rollerblade, hike, swim, kayak, and in the winter I like to ice skate, ski ,and snowboard. I also play ultimate frizbee but am slowing down now and don't know if I'll play next summer. I also do aerobics and weight lifting at the gym on my lunch break from work sometimes but that's less fun. I like to travel when I get the chance. Cross stitch is great for me because I'm a fidgeter and I enjoy doing it in the evening while watching TV after the kids go to bed. Oh yes, I also enjoy going to Patriot and Red Sox games with my husband and we often take the kids to the baseball games. We have season tickets for both teams! I crocheted once, but everyone in my family hates the afgan I made because it has too many holes so I kind of gave that up. I don't enjoy yard work or cooking much but of course I have to cook some sometimes because my kids get hungry and ask for dinner. Even though I don't like to cook much I do love to eat! We probably eat out more than we should. -Evelyn

HOW long ago was that divorce? Karen, it really might be time to move on. Given how often you post about him here, I'd say that man takes up far more of your emotional and intellectual energy than he deserves. And don't try to say he doesn't. If he didn't, you wouldn't still be telling stories about him. Living well is the best revenge and living well means moving on!

Elizabeth

I don't know about that - I have fully moved on from my divorce - over 20 years ago, but I love telling stories of some of his stupid moves. Of course, it doesn't reflect well on me for having continued to date him/marry him after some of them. LOL, you are only young and stupid once!

Cheryl

Nope. Won't cut it. As much time as I spend with you, I've never heard any of those stories and until last week when you posted something about husband #1, I hadn't realized you ever were married before. So maybe you tell stories, but it doesn't make up the bulk of your conversation. There's a difference between telling the occaisonal story and not having moved emotionally beyond an event. I know because I still struggle with my Dayton experiences and making a conscious effort not to talk about them actually does help make them less emotionally present for me.

Elizabeth

How true it is. I am a slob, but my wife is totally organized. The rules are that whoever goes to bed last, cleans the sink every night. She goes to bed at 10:00 and I go to bed at 11:00. Works for her. Bathroom gets cleaned by the last person to use it. During the week, that's her. Weekends, it me.

15 minutes organizing stash doesn't even put a dent in it. Weeding is strictly me, or half the plants would be gone. Some people can't tell the difference between a weed and something you're trying to get to grow. Plus, some of us just have to much stuff and are pack rats.

George

Amen to that.

The only thing I could do with my stash in 15 minutes is make a bigger mess by dumping out the boxes preparatory to organizing it.

There's always a stage in every organizing project where things look worse than when you started, and, with apologies to FlyLady, I prefer to save that stage for a day when I can get through it in one sitting, rather than leaving the bigger mess for days. Especially because, with the girls "helping" by scattering piles, I'd spend most of my 15 minutes each session re-stacking the same things that I had stacked yesterday (and the day before and the day before).

There's also a difference between a divorce that ends all contact and one that just *starts* the aggravation.

You can't forget someone who won't go away. He popped up again not too long ago, to make sure I remember him. Ten years after their divorce, he still had his first ex's address and phone number stuck on the side of his computer; he made sure I never saw the phone bill, which I suspect was because he was making long-distance calls to annoy her.

Doesn't matter whether it's me picking at the scab or him picking at the scab, the end result is the same: he's rarely far from my mind.

I have to think about a lot of things differently than most people -- my first day of vacation, someone was inside the house making a long distance call to my hotel. When I called the pet sitter, she swore she was at work when the call was made, and told me things I'd left on the counter for her weren't there when she arrived after work, and the note with the phone number was on the floor (the stuff I left her had been used as a paperweight). Most people don't spend their vacations wondering what the ex could do in a week of unsupervised access to their home; I have actual proof that mine comes in and prowls around in my absence.

He works at the airport. Last time I flew, unfortunately, I had to check in during his work hours, and spent the whole time worrying that he would see me on line and know the house was his to prowl through for the weekend. Both pieces of my luggage were opened by TSA ... which may mean that he told them to keep an eye on me. Mom's first question on seeing the inspection notices was, do you think they told him?, so I again had to spend my vacation wondering what I'd find when I got back.

I don't know that I agree 100% with that. DH's buddy (the one you heard about last week) talks about his ex ALL the time, but I would say has mostly moved on. Sometimes, the amount of time elapsed since you spent with someone is not directly proportional to the amount of influence they hold over time.

(boy that is awkward)

After all, a gold Firebird can still hold a sick fascination for me. Reminds me of the good and the bad. If Karen is reminded of him while dealing with house cleaning, well, I can not smell, let along eat, certain foods with out getting really annoyed. (ham pizza and Big Macs)

And remind me to tell you a few of the stories some afternoon over a cup of tea! Cheryl

I think we all have to deal with different upheavals in different ways and hopefully we find the one that is best for us. That is why I have big doubts about these 'counselling teams' that move into schools after a school bus crashes, or a child/children from that school is killed. That's just one example that comes to mind.

Everyone deals with death, divorce, emotional events very differently. I would hate to have someone probing my emotions like a dental hygenist with a pic and I know other people who say the same. It's like a bull in a china shop to send in people to deal with others in a mass absolution way.

I think had I been divorced I would have bled but would now feel at ease enough with myself to laugh about aspects of the marriage and divorce which would have been far too painful at the time. Perhaps for some, being able to discuss that is indeed the sign that they are over it.

My brother was killed when I was sixteen. It took me until after my father died suddenly in my early 30s for me to be able to even mention his name. I finally understood why and how I felt as I did but nobody could have helped me with it till then.

Tried it. It actually *almost* worked for me, too, but I didn't quite get to the point of "28 days makes a habit". sigh. I did print off a bunch of their hints and put them in a binder (see, I was *kinda* organized!). I didn't join the yahoo (?) group but had emails coming into my mailbox. That's where I went wrong, I think, cuz there just got to be too many of them to deal with everyday (especially since I mostly just do my email at work). I will have to try get into again one of these days.

Thanks for the reminder, though!

Joan

We do that when we really have to get some sort of order in the garden - we set the cooker timer for a half an hour - or sometimes an hour and no matter what stage we`re at, when that buzzer goes off we STOP! We get far more done just racing the buzzer, but don`t feel driven to go on for hours and wear ourselves out. That way we don`t mind doing the same thing again the next day. It`s a useful scheme for many boring chores.

Pat P