willpower needed

You need a break - give in to yourself and take up the new project, maybe it's a symbolic thing.

Sorry to hear your father died but I am sure you and your mother will find the way to carry on.

I'm sorry for your loss.

And I think that if taking care of yourself means starting a new project even though you have old ones waiting, you should do it. You'll get back to those other ones eventually, but now is a time to treat yourself gently and well and if that means starting something new and fresh, have at it!

Elizabeth

Absolutely the way to go. Now is the time to do what you want, when you want and how you want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. If starting a new project will help you cope, go right ahead.

When my husband died I found myself buying several pair of new, uncomfortable but pretty shoes, none of which I needed. For some odd reason I found it comforting to spend money on stupid things like that. After some time I looked at the boxes and decided to give them to a charity to be sold in their thrift shop and felt even more satisfied when I did that.

Anything that will take away some of the pain is a worthwhile thing.

You go girl !!!!

Lucille

LInda,

Starting a fun new project will be totally therapeutic. Go for it. However, once the calming effect kicks in, you may want to work a little at a time on UFOs.

I have a drawerful of UFOs which I promise myself will be completed by New Year. They mostly need final stitches, beads, charms, laundry etc.

It is the "bait"of doing something new, that will bring the other projects on.

gillian

Linda -

First - my prayers are with you.

Second - I understand. My husband has been going thru cancer treatment and surgery and I've been trying to stay strong and sane for him and deal with all the family &$#& that has come up as a result. I'm tired and I'm sure you are too.

You have every right to want a new start. I quit stitching quite a while ago and now find I am constantly doing something. It is therapy! And as a very good friend said - it is definitely cheaper than going to a psychiatrist.

Don't beat yourself up because you want a change - go for it.... You've been strong, supportive, caring and everything you needed to be for everyone else. This is for you - it's OK.

God bless

As some of you know I've spent the past 1 1/2 years helping my Dad deal with terminal lung cancer. My Dad was in hospital from August

12th to Sept. 10th, and I took time off from work to care for him. Dad died of lung cancer on Sept. 10th, and I'm now helping my 80 yr. old Mom cope with all of the changes in her life. It's not easy, but we're getting through it...

I knew I was getting better when I got the desire to complete a quilt I had started 2 years ago. The quilt is finished and I'm working on a few different projects.

Now here's my dilema... I want to start new projects even though I have at least six I could be working on, but I want something new and fresh to do. Am I crazy??? Have any of you gone through this same thing?

take care, Linda

P.S. Btw, one of the projects that I'm dying to start is "Charlotte" by John Clayton. She's a beauty!

Linda D. said

First please accept my condolences on your loss.

Second, do what makes you feel good.

My sincere condolences.

After my mother died 2 years ago my father came to live with me and I would sit with him in the afternoon and was half way through Raja's Feast when he died in June. After he died I did not want to carry on with it. Eventually a few weeks ago I started on a couple of smaller projects (cards, bookmarks etc). I found that I gradually got more enthusiastic about stitching again, and last week went back to Raja.

I felt small projects had more chance of completion. You can come back to the UFOs when you and your mother have had time to come to terms with your father's death.

Helena

If anybody deserves that "high" you get from starting a new project I think you do.

You've been a great daughter, making your parents your top priority, which is just amazing. Your Dad is gone, and I'm sorry for your loss. Starting a new project would be very symbolic, you are starting a new phase in your life. Why not do something that makes you happy?

Caryn

However - a new project is probably just what you need right now - a new beginning, so to speak, and will end up always reminding you of your Dad in a positive way.

In any case, it`s all supposed to be a hobby and a pleasure - do just what you like WHEN you like. (It`s one of the few avenues of life when you CAN do just that!) So go on - spoil yourself.

Pat P

Hugs, lots of hugs. I've walked that route with DH twice. It's not easy.

Definitely a good sign!

Do it, do it, do it! Any time life starts getting stressed, I start a new project. I do tend to make it a small project so I can finish it and start a new one if needed. No lingering guilt over UFO's.

Yes - I have been there, done that. Over the last 10+ years, there are plenty of opportunities for stress and I keep picking up new projects, be it knitted or stitched, and needle my stress into submission. Cheryl

And you have mine!

I've been in those shoes with my DH. Make sure you take some time for yourself. Do you have someone to lean on? I never would have made it with out a few friends.

Take care,

Cheryl

Absolutely you are not crazy Linda! First my condolences on the loss of your father. My father died - suddenly - and I helped my mother to cope. And my mother died of cancer and I took care of her. So I know what you are dealing with.

New projects get you started on a new outlook - help you to cope with other new challenges - help you to progress and get on track again. Start something new - and let us know what it is and how you are doing.

JonquilJan

Learn something new every day As long as you are learning, you are living When you stop learning, you start dying

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I have tears running down my face as I type this. It's so incredible to have so many of you share your stories and understand what I'm feeling and going through. I know I'm on the road to wellness, but it's sometimes a long and lonely road. I've experienced so much over the past 18 months, I will never be the same person I was, but I hope to be a better person because of all I've been through. I often look back and wonder where my strength came from, it was just there when I needed it. Now I have to be strong for my Mom, and some days it's overwhelming. I've gone to bed many nights in tears when images of my Dad's final days come into my mind. I know these images will fade, but never go away...

I am having 'me days' where I relax and do whatever I want for most of the day. Some days it involves housework, some days it's just stitching. I am so glad I took extra time off from work to get my life together.

All of you have encouraged me to do something new and fresh, and I think Charlotte just might be the right choice. She is so beautiful, I'm sure I will enjoy every minute of her. OTOH, I'm kind of thinking one of the Pat Rogers samplers I have on hand might be good to start too, as the feeling of accomplishment as I complete each letter might be good...decisions, decisions. What the heck, I'll start both! I'll just tell DH, "But the RCTN girls and guys told me to!"

With many thanks...Linda

Good for you!! Get pleasure and peace from whichever you choose. Maybe both; the letters in the sampler would be short-term gratification, and a piece of fulfillment, and the larger piece leaves a whole new future for you!!

Keep smiling

Gillian

I've been in those shoes with my DH. Make sure you take some time for yourself. Do you have someone to lean on? I never would have made it with out a few friends.

Take care,

Cheryl

Thanks, Cheryl. Like Linda, this group has been a comfort with the sharing and support it offers, but I have also been blessed with some amazing friends - You know yourself that there is sun again somewhere and with lots of love and help, we'll get there. Hope things are better for you -

Sisters in stitches

Kathie

After my father died, out of the blue, I found it very difficult to make decisions for my mother. The parent child relationship somehow reversed and it felt very strange, but like everything, we women do adapt when needed. Take the me days and use them as they refresh you ready to cope with tending to your mother.

Yes, I do have some wonderful friends :) One of them has been absolutely wonderful. I also have another friend who is dying of cancer and she is so remarkable she is helping me through this and has helped me right from the beginning.

It's so amazing how some situations bring out the best in some people :)

take care, Linda

And how - I watched my MIL get more bitter and nasty and my FIL become calm and focused. Same disease, very different ends.

Cheryl