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OT: daughter's friend!

OK, still reeling after the weekend.... DD#2 turned 10 last week, so we had a party on the weekend. All were well behaved and polite except for

1 girl, who is new at school, so we don't know her that well.

To cut to the chase, they played happily with DD's toys, but this new girl asked if she could have some of the cutlery and plates from my daughter's dolls house (Madeline - the Paris house, now discontinued! grrrrr). We said no, because it is part of a set. She was fine about it, but after she left we went to tidy up all the toys and guess what, the pieces that she had picked out and had asked if she could have were missing.

Well, we've tried not to jump to any type of conclusion, but we've hunted high and low for them, to no avail! Since this incident, DD has said that there was a query whether she had taken one of the other friend's keyrings, whilst at school a couple of weeks ago. She was the last person seen with it, and no-one knows where it went. It is difficult to ask, my French aint that good! she is new in school and her parents aren't very approachable. I've suggested that she asks her friends when she goes back to school after the holidays, if they may have seen them, in the hope that this girl confesses.

We've tried finding replacements on the internet and they either don't exist or they are in collector boxes and cost a fortune.

Anyone else ever an incident like this and what is the best way to deal with it. I feel hurt that we welcomed her in and this is what she did, my daughter is heartbroken to think that a friend could do this. I suppose the only thing is it is all part of growing up! and finding out that not everyone is so respectful.....

Janner France

Reply to
Janner
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Is there a way you could give the child an opportunity to make things right? What about something like inviting her back to help you search for the missing items? It sounds like this child needs help even though you and I are not pediatric forensic psychiatrists. Children can be so cruel. If this little girl is branded a thief, she'll have to carry that perhaps for the rest of her life. I'd put a lot of prayer and thought into what to do. Polly

Reply to
Polly Esther

This happened to a friends DD and we discussed what to do. The only thing we could think of was to talk to the child's teacher and see what ideas the teacher had! As with your situation, the child in question was also suspected of taking other things from other kids. The teacher finally spoke with the child's parents at conference time. Finally, missing things started to turn up in the classroom, sealed in paper bags with the name of the child who had "lost" the items written on the bag! I'm not sure if this approach is something available to you but it's worth a try. CiaoMeow >^;;^<

PAX, Tia Mary >^;;^< (RCTQ Queen of Kitties) Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their whiskers! Visit my Photo albums at

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Reply to
Tia Mary

I must admit that I'm glad that it is holidays here this week, gives a chance for the upset to calm a bit and hopefully rational thought to intervene.

I know the teacher at school quite well, because I go in and help out with lessons, so a quiet word might be the answer. Inviting her around to help find the missing toys is also worth considering and I'll give it thought. At this age they really don't needed to be branded a thief, but I don't think that she is thinking through the consequences.

Thanks again

Janner France

Tia Mary wrote:

Reply to
Janner

We had this happen at our house. The "child' was in high school and was staying the night with us. After the child took a shower and had night clothes on my DD saw this friend in my DD underwear. DD didn't say anything to child, but told me," mom if the child needs them that bad as to take them without asking, she can have them." Then there were other things that had turned up missing from DD room now and again, each time after this child visited. Once a cheapy necklace came up missing and soon after DD saw child wearing it and questioned her. She made a lame attempt to say she bought it from somewhere, but couldn't remember where. I finally put my foot down and said,"This child will not be invited to visit in our house." And that was that!

Launie, in Oregon

Reply to
simpleseven

Well, something is wrong, really wrong, for a kid that age to steal. I wouldn't venture to guess whether it's that she truly has nothing or that she's acting out some problem at home. Kids don't just start stealing like that for fun. Stealing little things from friends is very different than stealing a candy bar from the corner quikmart.

I like the idea of a quiet word with the teacher. That's probably the best way to broach this with the parents. Teachers usually know about problems at home. Or at least have an idea.

Hope it all turns out for the best. I know your dd must be hurt at the loss of her things.

Sunny

Reply to
Sunny

yup, thats exactly what i was thinking too, Sunny. sumpin is going on at home or connected to home somehow and she possibly feels unable to tell anyone about it. if she does something that gets attention, maybe someone will ask her what is going on and she can then talk to someone she feels trust in so she wont get into trouble over whatever is bothering her. tho i'm guessing whatever it is is not her fault at all. kids dont understand that or they believe what is told to them cuz they've no other source of knowledge but what they are told. good grief, sorry about that convoluted msg. j.

"Sunny" wrote... Well, something is wrong, really wrong, for a kid that age to steal. I wouldn't venture to guess whether it's that she truly has nothing or that she's acting out some problem at home. Kids don't just start stealing like that for fun. Stealing little things from friends is very different than stealing a candy bar from the corner quikmart.

I like the idea of a quiet word with the teacher. That's probably the best way to broach this with the parents. Teachers usually know about problems at home. Or at least have an idea.

Hope it all turns out for the best. I know your dd must be hurt at the loss of her things.

Sunny

Reply to
jeanne-nzlstar*

Thinking the same as you, Star. Wonder if she needs more than just a teacher's intervention here. Moving may have really traumatized her. Wonder what all she had to 'leave behind', and I'm not just talking material things.

Butterfly

Reply to
Butterflywings

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