OT My sad news... long so please skip if you want...

Try to keep your head up. Peaceful thoughts coming your way.

Sherry Starr

Prayers and hugs coming your way!!

((((Hugs))))

If it's any consolation, divorced after 19 years and 5 kids (one died nearly

2 weeks ago) to raise mostly on my own. Had a house with a mortgage and the ex left me with a load of bills and no child support. I had to find a job after being a stay at home mom. There were many times we ate spaghetti. First it was with sauce and meatballs, then sauce and no meatballs and then no sauce or meatballs but we survived.Remarried 3 years later to the MOST wonderful man on earth and we will be celebrating 32 years this coming August. Things will get better. Just take care of yourself and stay well. Prayers for you to have courage to see this through

Oh, crap. Hugs to you, Suzie Taria

Suzie B wrote:

Suzie, first I was sad for you, then I reread your post and saw "he can't do this anymore" and thought "what a bum! Didn't he listen to the marriage vows??" And then I was angry. After reading the post a couple more times and seeing what your "husband" is going to put you through, I realized that you will inevitably be better off without him. What a bum.....

Hugs and prayers and hopes for the bright future I know waits for you. Sunny \

Hugs f rom SC Barbara

Suzie-

This is just awful. I'm so sorry that you are sad and hurting. Please be gentle with yourself, get some sleep, eat well and take some nice long bubble baths. Gather a support system of friends and family around you, be

*very* careful what you say to your fellow employees (it can bite you in the butt down the line), don't take off too much time from work (you won't feel well physically or mentally or emotionally, but you'll feel worse if you lose you job for absenteeism or being incapable of performing your duties due to the stress!) and realize that your emotions will be all over the place for some time. Now, let's get real practical here.....

Ask around and hire the meanest, slimiest, most aggressive divorce attorney you can find to fight your soon-to-be ex and get you the very best settlement possible. This is no time to get sentimental/fair/reasonable and 'share' and split things evenly and you play the nice guy. Do *not* make any decision without consulting your attorney. Your whole future depends on what happens in the next months and you must be strong and let your attorney handle everything for you. You do NOT have to buy him out of your home right away- if ever! You *can* get a monthly check from him (do y'all call it alimony over there?)

Please do not waste any time getting yourself some legal counsel. It sounds like he's been planning this for awhile and he may have done some maneuvering that you are completely unaware of..... has he cleaned out the bank accounts or put any major assets into his name or anything else sneaky???

Hugs and wishes for the best for you,

Leslie- been there/done that, closetful of T-shirts....

Ohhhh I like your advice! Please heed it Suzie!

Suzie, for sure you've gotten some strong, fine guidance here. I think I'll just send you warm best wishes for your new life and quietly tippy-toe away. Polly

So sorry, Suzie! BTDT twice (more fool me, LOL) and you have all my sympathy. Sending good thoughts and warm hugs across the pond to you.

Suzie, there are no words I can say to make it all better or to express the disgust I feel for men who do this sort of thing. {{{{{Hugs}}}}} And please take the advice you've been given about getting the best divorce lawyer you can find. Keep us posted....

Damn - So sorry Suzie.

(((((HUGS)))))))

Suzie, first let me say my prayers are with you. Second, don't apologize for the way you feel. After I retired I bought a house and immediately lost my health. I barely blinked an eye. Just chalked it up to being alive. The worst time in my life was losing the man I though would be my soul mate forever. This was almost 30 years ago and I still get a little depressed when I think about is. Third, whenever I need a pick me up I often visit your site for a lift. You quilt like an angel. I see lot of humor and much strength.

My silent number 4 is stop being so nice and hold your ground. Tell him he has to continue paying his part of the mortgage until you can afford it. I don't know how the law works over there but in SC that mortgage would still be his liability. Drag his hiney to court if you have to. In the interim it will give you more time to search for a decent mortgage. Much luv.

Oh Suzie, that's just awful. Maybe we can find a big cannon to shoot him out of! All I can say right now is chin up, and big {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}.

Vickie > Just when this year seemed that it couldn't get any worse for me (bank

BTDT - big ((((HUGS))))!!

Hubby and I made it 29 years so far and last year facing my cancer wasn't easy on him. We have our date night on Fridays....we go out to our favorite place where we can sit in a booth like kids and have our pizza and beer. Please have hubby and you go talk to somebody or begin date night. I started seeing a therapist last year and I love it. I sometimes bring my husband with me. If the sleeping machine bothers him....put him in his own room. Pami

In Scots law (pretty sure it's the same in English law) you can get financial support from your ex-spouse over 3 years. It need not be a lump sum. Do get a lawyer - you might even qualify for legal aid - and start asking questions. You have a right to stay in the marital home, by the way, even if your name is not on the title deed. Put yourself first and ask questions of a solicitor that are in your best interest... your spouse is only thinking of himself, so now it's time you do the same. Good luck, and think of the future. Someone else said you're better off without him... maybe there's some wisdom in that. I'm sure it hurts right now though... Many hugs from Scotland (((squeeze)))

-- Jo in Scotland

Suzie, I'm so sorry. If he can't take it anymore then maybe you're better off. Things will improve and soon you'll look back and wonder how on earth you managed they way you were for so long. Hugs,