OT: I need to cry...

I have this theory that you can like any job, any job at all, if you like the people you work with, and even your "dream job" will suck if you don't.

I'm not going to say you should go in tomorrow and quit, but maybe keep your eyes open for other opportunities, then get out when you find one. Being miserable isn't worth it.

Awww Kate I know how you feel. It is hard to work with people you don't like. Keep your eyes open for something new and meanwhile "kill" them with kindness. Sending lots of good thoughts your way.

You need to find another job asap or you can try the kill them with kindness approach.

I did the "kill them with kindness" routine and all I got for my trouble was "don't you ever say anything mean?"

I responded "why should I when we've got you."

My therapist told me that I should consider resigning. I just don't know how to tell Larry as we are sorta shaky financially and I know my salary is helping.

God I wish I was Sarah's age where the only thing to worry about is do I want to play in my "fake kitchen" or play with my "weebles"

Kate

If your salary is needed then you will have to bite the bullet and stay until you find something else. Don't allow those witches to get you down though because misery truly loves company. Every person that I ever knew that was nasty all the time was basically unhappy and the only way they could cope was to make someone else unhappy. I call people like that candle blowers, they mistakenly think that if they blow out other peoples candles that theirs will shine brighter. Most people outgrow this by the third grade but some never are able to. At any rate it is their problem and it only becomes yours if you allow it to.

Remember you can't control them but you can control how you react to the situation.

Yea but then you would be dependent on others to fulfil your every need or desire.

I am so sorry Kate that you are having all this stress. Some people just don't know how to be civilized, never mind kind! Perhaps before you quit or even the day you put in your resignation, you could try to go above her head, if that is possible, and let management/owners know that what you've told us here. How you love the children but others have been far from treating you common courtesy let alone kindness. Sometimes getting things off your chest is worth it and in this case, it just might help the next poor person who fills the job after you too. But whatever we all tell you, just go ahead and do what you feel is right for you. Having met Larry, I am sure that he will support you all the way.

Big supportive hugs,

I feel your pain. I was stuck in a job for a year that I hated. I was like a school girl who hated school. The night before I had to go to work I would get sick trying to convince myself I was to sick to go in the next day. I was miserable 24/7, even on the weekend because the weekend went to fast and back to that hell hole I had to go. Finally one day they announced that they were closing our department. I was lucky enough to find a job within the company and a job that I know love. There was days that I was close to calling it quits.

I suggest that you keep your eye upon for another job. Hopefully you will find something you enjoy. There are some great job searches that are available online to, you can serach for in your area. Another great place is if you have a community college in your area. I know our community college here has a job recruitment dept. and its not just for jobs at the college. Job fairs are great also. I'm sure you know all of that already, but just trying to help, I know how you feel.

If you need to chat I'm here for you.

Chrissy

Kate, I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties at work. I still say the kill them with kindness routine will eventually work, just ignore their jibes at it. Another trick I like is something I picked up from a TV show, or a movie...I can't remember..."Smile Therapy"...I found that if I put a big fake smile on my face I feel a little better, people smile back at me sometimes too. One time a stranger at the grocery store said I had made his day because I was the only person he had seen with a smile on their face all day. I didn't tell him it was fake. I just said "thank you". Most likely your co-workers will think you are crazy...maybe not a bad image to nurture! They would start saying things like "stay away from that Kate lady...she is crazy!" in the mean time keep looking for a job that will make you want to get up everyday, enjoy your little one now because they unfortunately don't stay little long and try to pamper yourself in little ways...maybe a bubble bath with candles lit or a new book or lipstick or something. Hang in there and I'll pray for extra patience for you too!!

Arleen

:::snipped long list of good reasons to hate the job:::

Wow. {{{{Kate}}}} Thankfully I've never worked for anyone quite that bad, tho one sure had me in tears often & I really wanted to quit.

Does she have a supervisor you can talk to? She sure must have little or no self esteem to have to make herself feel better by making others feel worse.

I hate job hunting as much as or probably more than the next person, but is that an option for you?

We spend way too much of our lives at work to be that miserable. Sure hope things work out for the better for you, either there or elsewhere!!!

Alicia

ROFL!

Have you considered temping while you're looking for something else? I long-term temped for several years when I moved across country. You never know where it will lead. Great things can come of it (did for me) & even if they don't, you're making income while finding some place far more suited to you than working for the Wicked Witch & her miserable friends.

Alicia

Actually that is an excellent idea, Alicia! It enables you to try different places and often in this day and age, employers use temp agencies as a means of finding qualified people that they can then hire permanently if they find them to be a good fit for their company. This actually works to your advantage too since you can always tell a potential employer that wants you, but that you personally would rather not work for permanently that you would prefer to keep on temping for a while longer. Frankly working as a consultant is how I got all my jobs in the US.

Sorry to hear that you're having these troubles Kate. I will keep you in my prayers and send some positive energy your way that things pick up for you real soon. luv Cec...xxx

Oh Kate....I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you find something soon where you can be happy and appreciated. Alicia's idea of temping is a great idea, though. I did temping after DD was born, and it lead to a permanent position I actually liked. Of course, then DS came along and I went back to a SAHM.

I've registered with so many temp agencies prior to this job that I've NEVER HEARD FROM THEM.

It is like they took my resume and then made me jump through the typing hoops and then nothing but empty promises.

I appreciate it but jobs in New York City are hard to come by.

Kate wrote:

I'm really sorry to hear that, Kate. Sure hope the perfect job surprises you soon.

Since your job sounds like a social service type, have you thought of volunteering a few hours a week on the evening or weekend somewhere similar where you'd like to work? That might lead to something that pays.

I found a great job once (the pay wasn't great, but it was a very rewarding job & a good learning experience) that combined volunteering & temping. I had been working for a computer company first as an agency temp, then as a direct temp, then as a regular employee. Then, there was a layoff (never pleasant, but really nasty at a computer company where someone packs your things for you while they're telling you in another room that you're now unemployed, & you & your belongings are escorted to the door without having a chance to say goodbye). I had a friend at the time who I'd met volunteering for an AIDS charity. He was the persistent type & happened to try to call me while they were telling me I was no longer employed. He called around until he tracked down the gal who sat next to me, who told him what had happend. By the time I got home less than an hour later, he'd set up an appointment with me with a friend of his who owned a temp agency & had a great opportunity working for another AIDS charity. The last thing I felt like doing at that point was going for an interview, but the gal agreed to see me, red, weepy eyes & all. After some hesitation due to the pay, I agreed to take the job & ended up working for a great guy. We ended up putting on 2 annual events for the charity plus another one (he opened up his own company after the first event & I joined him). When we disbanded I went to work for my old manager from the computer company who was consulting freelance by that time. He joined us for a few months, then left to work at the company I've now been with for 10 years (I had followed him there a month later). So, you never know when an opportunity will come your way.

One tip for anyone who does try temping that I didn't think of when I started. Not all temp agencies pay the same for the same job. I worked for a government contractor who used several different temp agencies for the same type of position. They paid each temp agency the same hourly rate, but how much of that went to the temp varied by company. It pays to shop around. Of course, when I found that out I was working for the agency that paid the least, but was also registered with an agency they used that paid a dollar or two more per hour (it adds up!). After my assignment ended, the company called me directly. I said I'd love to come back but asked if they'd go thru the agency that paid better instead. It didn't matter to them, since they paid the same rate to both. Instant raise!

Alicia

Kate,

I am so sorry for the situation that you are in. I know jobs are hard to come by but KEEP LOOKING ! Life is too short to be MISERABLE! Being as kind as you can possibly be is good but you don't want to be a doormat for anyone. You have to think about your emotional health as well as your mental health. If you stay too long it will effect every area of your life. You have not failed you have given this a good try and the people are cruel . Keep your chin up and like I said keep looking because you deserve to be treated better!

((( hugs )))

Michelle P.

a-scrapbook> I can't stand my new job.

scrappymissjacqui wrote: Do you get to work with the children directly at all?

Hi Jacqui,

No I don't get to work directly with the children directly more indirectly. I cheer them on as they learn how to walk with the Physical therapist or I thank them as they bring up the attendence books to me or I say good morning or have a nice night as they come in or leave.

One of them yesterday said to the jerk of an office manager "why are you so mean to Kate? what did she do to you?"

LOL

Its the weekend and I've got a date with Larry and a particularly handsome Pirate.

Kate