OT: Stupid Question (or maybe I'm old fashioned)

It means respond to the invitation with either a yes I'll be there or a no I can't make it. It's not passé. In my opinion, it's just plain rude to ignore and RSVP.

Not a stupid question at all.

OH my gosh you've brought up a sore spot with me and no it's not you Kate....hehe it's the RVSP ignorers!! I've had many parties over the years and no one seems to get it. NO ONE! Few people seem to take it seriously. I get that people don't know it's literal meaning [French phrase Répondez s'il vous plaît ("reply, please")], but I'd think you'd have to be raised in a barn not to know that RSVP means "Please reply." I refuse to think that everyone I invite is just stupid, :) but what I do now is I call everyone myself and personally get their RSVP. Still there are people who say they'll be there and don't show for the dumbest reasons. That's why I if someone doesn't show for a party they never get invited to another party. Yeah yeah if they were in the emergency room I'd of course understand, but that has never happened. Not one excuse has ever been worthy of wasting my time, money and spot at a party that I could have invited someone else had I known they weren't coming.

I'm thinking maybe we should start using "please reply" instead of RSVP. I've even offered a prize to the first person to RSVP and gotten no replies. I really don't know where some people's manners are.

Sorry sheepishly stepping off of soapbox.... how the heck did I get up there! Lynne

I agree people should RSVP. I'm lucky that my ladies here normally do. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that we do a pot luck before we crop with everyone bringing a dish and the fact that I use Meetup (yes it does cost me money, but I've started charging $5 per month to cover that and tool use). Meetup does all the reminding for me, emails them when I set up the meeting, 2 weeks before, one week before and one day before. So I usually have most of my ladies registering that they are coming. However, they don't always remember to say that they aren't. When that happens, I email them the next day to let them know they were missed and ask if they are OK.

I just think that people don't all calendar stuff and especially young moms can have something come up at the last minute. I always feel sorry when I'm doing a party though and fewer people than RSVP'd show up as it always upsets the hostess. Frankly, people RSVPing and NOT showing up is pretty mush par for the course in the direct sales business, annoying, but I say, on to the next party. Like so many people told me, it takes a while to get a monthly crop going.

Hang in there Kate and it will turn around for you! M-C

I agree people don't seem to RSVP any more. We were actually discussing this at work a few weeks ago. My little sister had a halloween party invited 15 kids from school, 4 RSVP the other 11 said yes but no confirm. A few days before the party my Mom called the children's parents and 10 parents said yeah I'll be there my son/daughter got directions from your daughter in school. Hello! So that would have been 10 extra kids that my mom didn't account for. The other thing that gets me is a girl at work her 13 year old DD had a sleepover party (co-ed) and the parents called to confirm but never questioned a co-ed sleep over. Maybe I'm to strict but I think 13 year old co-ed sleepover is trouble and not RSVP is rude! Thats my two cents.

Chrissy

I find it VERY rude when people don't reply. For Emilee's b'day I'll send out invites about 1-1 1/2 weeks ahead asking to RSVP and I will not prepare for those that don't reply, if they show I'll say oh, sorry I wasn't expecting you and the party is set up for the x# of guests that replied. I realize this is punishing the child for the parents rudness but I think some parents will only get the message this way. I already talked to Emilee about this and she is fine with it! Barb:o)

I really get uptight about that too, people are so "busy" so they say anymore, NO that is not it. There just is no cortesy and respect anymore. It is a "All About ME" world.

The last time I invited several friends/neighbors over to a cookout, well one couple told me ok, then didn't. They told me next day that so and so came so they wouldn't. Another person, same party, told me they felt bad because they could not bring anythin (HELLO< I am providing it all, all you have to do is come!) So after that fiasco I am thru. No more from me, and I hardly go anywhere anyhow. i can not take the cigarette smoke - BLECCCHHH!!

OKC Dave

Check out my pix and crafts!

This drives me Crazy. RSVP should always be put on party invites... and people are rude. Etiquitte is flying out the window in everything. People convienently don't care to RSVP or tip service providers. It's all part of the downward turn of our American society. Rudeness rules!

Since my now 12-year-old was 5 years old I've had problems with birthday parties. Now we don't throw birthday parties all because of the RSVP lack of response. When he was very small we had parties, expensive parties. A good birthday party cost about 200 dollars after all the party supplies, food and drink to feed all the kids and their parents, etc. Problem was, Dane's 6th birthday, no one rsvp'd... not the people who didn't come and not the single child and parent who did come. The following year, Dane was 7, again, no one rsvp'd but you've got to be prepared for everyone to come and then, no one came... it happened every year through age 9. So I stopped throwing birthday parties for his friends from school to come. I couldn't afford to throw away the money on parties where no one would show up and no one was respectable to show up. So his birthdays turned into my adult friends coming over for his birthday, because otherwise no one would come and that's just plain sad. Every kid should get presents for their birthday... fortunately my adult friends care enough about my child to be willing to do this... still the cost still worked out to be about two hundred but at least my kid felt special for a day and got a few toys to satisfy his "birthday." This last birthday, it was just our household. He's growing up, almost a teenager and doesn't really need toys anymore.

Pathetic & sad but true.

Melissa in Seattle

The last invitation I received said "RSVP Regrets Only" My children are also required to send Thank You notes.

Sandy

I think RSVP means Response Sent Via Post.

Ok, here it is from the dictionary. It is French and says repondez s'il vous plait which means Please Respond. rsvp from the sender to me, means they want to know if you are coming or not, so they can plan their menus or figure out how much to spend on each guest or the party.

I agree with everyone here!

As someone who's planned parties proffessionally and personally, it makes me nuts having to track down how many people are planning to attend. It's just common courtesy to say YES or NO, or even Maybe - but to ignore completely is plain rude!! (Course, my BF happens to be one of the worst of these - but that's a whole other issue!)

Even worse, is people who say they're coming, then don't show, without calling to say they won't make it!!!!!! I really hate this, to me this is the pinnacle of rudeness.

I love throwing parties, but the last few years, I've lost some of thepassion for it, epecially my annual Xmas party, just because I end up with only a minor handful of RSVP's, and half of them don't show even if they've said yes.

I think in general basic good manners and courtesy are on a major decline. It makes me very very sad. I try to be respectful and courteous at all times. It's not that hard! And it makes people's day, earns you respect, and is jut a better way to live life.

I could go on and on and on on this - let's just say it's a major major pet peeve of mine!!!

So no Kate, you are not wrong at all in frustrations. :)

Jessica

a-scrapbook> What does the phrase "R.S.V.P." mean to you?

RSVP to me means you want a 'yes', 'no', or even a 'maybe' would do. I've been exactly where you are Kate. I honestly think it's just a part of the direct selling business. It's frustrating, but a fact none the less. A good rule of thumb I use is to invite 3 times more than you have room/space for. For example, if you want to have 10 people there, you invite 30. As a hostess and demonstrator, I usually contact those I've invited to confirm whether or not they're coming. I do put RSVP on invites, but like you experienced, most people just don't RSVP. So I give them up until 24 - 48 hours before the event to RSVP, then I contact them myself.