Poor Pitiful me

Awe Lynne sorry your class got cancelled and all the trouble you have had with friends. Is the new friend worth worrying about? Afterall she shouldnt be telling you about the calls and the fun since she would have to be blind not to know it is hurting you. Now she has the grade school attitude to be like that. A larger circle of friends is a great thing to have rather than a total reliance on one friend as your other pairing off friends seem to be doing. Keep your chin up ((((( hugs))))) Shaz

Sorry to hear about your woes Lynne. I know how you are feeling because I've been through the same thing. My husband and I had friends - 2 couples - from his work. One couple moved away and didn't really know the other couple. Then we found out the ones who lived here and we had gone on family outings with, invited the other couple to a party and they didn't invite us. I found out from my true friend, whose hubby had told her he thought we were going to be there and that was the only reason she went - she hardly knew the other wife. My true friend sat out in the car the whole time and was peed off at her hubby because she thought he had lied to her.

Anyway, I just don't care to do much with the ones who we thought were our friends so it's better for me if I don't sweat them.

(Just to let you know they don't change - we recently went to a birthday dinner for a friend and the so-called friends were there - they might have said 2 words to us and I just don't need to try hard just so I can be ignored)

I hope you get to feeling better - We love you here!!

--

**Patty H in Florida**

snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com Pages done in 2003: 31

I know what you are going through... I realized after years of being the "left behind" friend.. that I was only attracting the kind of friends that were users... they wanted my attention, my favors, me to be there for them no matter what, but didn't want to return the friendship. These kinds of friends are short lasted and flutter from buddy to buddy never having a long term friendship. Long term friends are hard to find and you are lucky to have one in your lifetime. I had two friends who I thought were my best friends.. for 14 and 9 years I was the 3rd friend, and only called when they didn't have other plans or it was a group thing.. and I was oblivious to this. I've learned to spot these "flutter friends" anymore.... the "I'll call you.." kind.. but never do. I have learned that the best friends I have are my husband and those who call me, not when they need their computer fixed or another favor from me or my husband... it seems the phone was always ringing.. the first things out of their mouths.. my computer is doing this... my car is acting funny... it wasn't.. how are you guys?? Whats been going on in your life?? And ACTUALLY LISTENING!!!!! If someone who says they want to be my close friend starts this behaviour.. I point it out to them and tell them that I know I"m a great friend to have (I really am!) and I expect to be treated with respect and they will be treated the same, that means, not calling me only when they need something fixed, but being a real friend, there with prayers and hugs when needed. I have had ONE person stay around after that talk and its still in a beginning stage here.. we will see... If you need someone to talk to, my email is here.. email me.. I'm a good listener. I've been there. Remember you DESERVE a good friend, and God will bring one to you in time.. I know he kept me alone for a while so I could find out who I really was without all the distractions of selfish people. As for the class, I'd call that LSS and demand an apology.. sometimes people won't respect you until you demand their respect.

*hugs* Im sorry your so down :( i hope you feel better soon hun!! I got the left behind thing too... but im better about it now :)

Tracy

sending you lots of hugs.

Dear Lynne,

Stop giving so much of yourself and start expecting and *demanding* more from others. Let your friends make new friends on their own. You are right, this isn't high school anymore, but it sure feels like it. It's the same thing at work, school, etc. Count your blessings. A friend of 9 years of something not everyone can say they have. Maybe she feels guilty telling you about going out with the new friend and therefore avoids you on the phone. I know this is none of my business, but maybe you could back off a little and don't start off the conversation by asking her what she did w/o you (hence w/the other friend). Remember the talks you 2 used to have before all of this started. When it wasnt so hard to think of what to say to a friend. Call her up just to say hi and let the bond between the two of you do the rest. Lynne, life is too short to be holding grudges.....and being upset gives you white hair ;)

I hope you are feeling better now.

Angie