Yes, I said "Faux Paws", because it is inhumane that innocent bystanders are forced to look at what is stuffed into some of the following garb. And I expect each of you to contribute to the 'Too Ugly To Be Seen In Public' file, wherein one can list their pet peeve. Lurkers, get thee hence. This is your chance to contribute something useful, to End The Suffering of Humanity! Too Much, Too Public: Po-lice Women in tight uniform pants. The ratio of hip-to-waist seems Barbie-esque when viewed from behind. These uniform victims can be found singing soprano at the Bad Boys when they cuff them, as the proximity of pants crotch to tonsils forces their voices into the higher register. Pitch of voice worsens when they have to bend over or exert themselves in the line of duty. How you gonna get the Bad Boys when you look like one of the Bad Girls? Makes a moral lesson hard to teach. Too Much, Too Soon: Young, obviously well-fed/over-fed young women/teens in blue jeans with no skivvies. Blue jeans wear like a western cattle brand, with the arse forming a large UU when viewed from behind. Worse yet when the pretense of underwear is a thong worn as outerwear, pulled up under the bust. Looks like 'Prostitution At The Mall', which is another category entirely; although seemingly related to the above social grouping, it actually belongs in the following category, yet, further research could throw it into the 'Early Preventive Support to Delay The Effects Of Gravity On The Female Form' Grouping. Time will tell. Scene of The Crime II: Prison Garb Run Amok. Horizontal stripes. Cute on 18 YO, or the anorexic. These stripes are meant as fabric decoration, not as surface definition. Truly offensive when cut from a stripe knit fabric which rolls across the bust and belly of a 50 Y.O.woman. Spandex pants spandexpants spandexugly. Are ya buff? Are ya underweight? Are ya truly trim? Eyeball Research proves that 99% of spandex wearers are not. Studies of traumatized citizens quote prolonged viewing of spandex-clad fannies as the reason they went "off the deep end", to use a highly scientific medical term. Now soliciting additions to the "Wish I Can't Touch-This' file. Humor and gentle sarcasm a must. Please name your category appropriately. Cea
- posted
19 years ago