So fed up (and not entirely OT)

Hi all,

I thought that I might rejoyce since my health insurance promised me some household help. I had been struggling on my own, plus the paper war with them and then, on Friday, the lady told me she'd take care of it since I had nobody from my family to help (different form, you know). I called yesterday to hear if she had found somebody but she hadn't gotten through to where she wanted to get the help from.

Today she called to say that she had called three different organizations and two of them were running low on staff due to holiday times while she still hadn't reached anybody at No. 3 (they're moving). I almost broke down when I heard that. She didn't seem to have made a great effort, either, and why should she, it would cost their money, wouldn't it? I just told her that I felt totally let down by her insurance as well as the docs and then put down the receiver and cried. Really, I'm done with them, I changing my health insurance asap.

And I'm so fed up with everything. Fed up with having to take those rotten painkillers to be able to sleep at all at night (and who can guarantee that these aren't the first signs of an addiction?), fed up with the incompetence of the whole healthcare system and their indifference to the individual's suffering, and fed up with not being able to take things into my own hands. I feel so depressed about the state my place is in (and believe me, I'm not too fussy), normally I would just whip out the dusting kit and set to work, but I can't, not if I want to get better in the long run.

But, to tell you something uplifting: I ordered some fabric yesterday to make a little fish-shaped bag for a friend's daughter (the lady who's room I shared when we both had to lie flat on our backs with premature contractions). She made a hand puppet for DD as a b-day present, a little piggy my DH christened 'Mr Pommeroy' (in Germany a good joke but hard to explain to those unfamiliar with German TV traditions), and which is dearly loved by DD.

I ordered 40 cm of this one:

the body, from the remnant box, for 10 EUR. Then I got 3 m of each ofthese two:?product_group=900208&product_code=BM01-0002for a lining and the head and tail.Well, mainly I got that much because I want to make nightshirts from it.Although they are marked 100 % organic cotton in the English version, theyare actually a mix with 14 % Kapok. They tell all kinds of wonderful storiesabout the lightness and the sweat-absorbing qualities of this fibre that Iwas really curious. What can I say, I 'left their shop' EUR 108.00 poorerbut very satisfied. Do you think I should seek counselling because ofshopping addiction? ;-) Anyway, I can't wait to get my hands on that fabric, it's supposed to be silky and all, and I won't bother to get a fancy pattern. I need instant gratification and therefore will use a medieval pattern, meaning rectangles put together, with perhaps a couple of pleats here and there for looks and comfort. As for the fish-bag, I'll sit down and make cardboard pattern as soon as I've sent this.

U.