Found this on WoW, I am not good enough to think of this sort of thing so am not claimimg its my work.
AlTURNative Woodturning Glossary
A ANNULAR RING Similar to an Eternity Ring but over a much shorter period.
ABRASIVE A type of wifely call to turn the lathe off and come inside for dinner.
AUGER A sharp boring article normally used to remove the heart of a subject on the lathe, not to be confused with a Mother-in-Llaw.
B BIT A technical term used by non-technical turners to describe lathe parts, e.g. "That blue bit stuck on the side of that round bit with the shiny bit on it"
BODGER Found turning in woods during the day, not to be confused with a Badger found worming in woods at night.
BOLT TORQUE A discussion or chat on the relative merits of British Standard Whitworth as opposed to American Fine.
BURR A frequently heard expression heard coming from unheated workshops in winter. (Not in common use in Australia).
C CHUCK a) To throw, b) a chicken or c) other food d)to vomit.
COUNTER BORE These people are often experienced at the time of reaching the till/checkout in a woodturning store, usually laid on both elbows reciting his successes or failures to the salesman.
COUNTER SINK As above, but laid on one elbow and thus providing an angled approach.
D DECIDUOUS The application of thought, when differentiating between hard and softwoods.
DRILL JIG An Irish military version of formation dancing, Which involves a great deal of artistically boring turning.
E ECCENTRIC An oddly behaving woodturner who is known to be slightly off centre.
EXHIBITIONS These provide opportunities for the woodturners "that can" to expose their talents and for those of us "who can't" a place to spend a fortune buying useless gadgets.
Well I thought it was funny anyway !!!
Tim