Oh man. I gotta go back to Batswannna.

As most of you have heard, President Bush is going to be stopping in Batswannna on his upcoming African tour. Ever since I was picked to be the liaison for the Batswannna stop, it's just been one thing after another.

First, I had to call my old friend Charles Taylor and ask him to step down. "Chuck," I said, "I just can't have W over here talking about AIDS while your savage people are hacking each other to death like stoned plastic surgeons. The Americans just don't go for that kind of shit." He argued for awhile, but he got it eventually.

Then I get a call from the Batswannna Consulate General threatening me with war crimes. All because of that stupid witch doctor. As my friends, if some of you here call them and tell them to reconsider, it would be great.

me luck. I may not return all my emails promptly, but I do readthem all eventually and throw them away. Just like Lyns reviews. You think I could get the Batwannna government to reimburse me for my laptop the rebels destroyed? I'm going to bring my receipt and wear them out. They might only be able to reimburse me with rocks and dead monkeys, but anything's better than nothing.

Take care, friends. I'll let you know how it's going. Somebody look in on Traves "Stinkfinger" Poppycock and Doug Miller. They get kind of lonely.

God Bless Al Kyder