On Fri, 11 Jul 2003 3:47:09 -0400, BeckiBead wrote (in message ):
I don't know. I think that there are a few people who can take the blame for the way I am today. :-)
Mrs Daly. Met her when I was four years old, and we moved out of the projects. I was very close with her daughter, who is two months older than I, and I _lived_ at that house for years. Mrs. Daly was the one who taught me the refinements of English (remember that my mom is an immigrant, and I spoke only German until I started school), and was a total maniac about grammar and proper speech. She was the first person I ever met who never smacked her children. How amazing! I never knew that there were kids who didn't get hit.
My Junior High Librarian, Mrs. Hansen. She encouraged me to reach for the stars and insisted that there was nothing I could not do. She also listened when I bitched about being in cooking and sewing (our graduating class was the last one to be divided by sex), and made special arrangements for me to "work" in the library instead of sewing. In reality, she was getting me college level textbooks and insisting I plow through them. It made a huge difference when I got to high school, because I was amply prepared to get into the Advanced Placement program. (I had been invited in Jr. High, but my parents didn't want to have to transport me across town.)
My mother in law, Barbara. Not at all educated, and her world wasn't a whole lot larger than this house. But she taught me that if you want children, and it was okay not to, that you put them first. The kids are here and gone so quickly, it's not much of a sacrifice to spend those years in a more kid-oriented mode. Later, she taught me that it's entirely possible to die on one's own terms, with the people you love around you and to live every moment until the end.
My DH, Bob. He has always been on my side, 100%; even if he suspected I was totally wrong. (He'd hash it out with me, later, in private) He's advocated for proper health care for me more times than I can count, fought my parents to treat me respectfully, and shown me that it's possible to be a fun person and a good parent. Even though he's big and scary looking (to some), he's about the gentlest person I've ever met, and can take care of a baby like he was born to it.
My Mom. God knows, we've had our moments, but when she did something right, she did it outstandingly. Allowing us to use our playroom as a place for us to hang out as teens, with our friends and with nominal supervision kept us from roaming the streets, getting into trouble. Insisting that we get jobs at the youngest age possible gave us all a strong work ethic and we are all quite successful (and wicked competitive). She was never willing to settle for less than what she wanted, and showed us that if we worked hard enough, we'd get ahead. For a woman who grew up on potato peels and existed through the starvation and poverty that was post-war Germany, Mom has accomplished an incredible amount.
DD, my Amanda Rose. Teaches me more every day than I could write in a million years. Fun, loving, infuriating, so like me and yet so incredibly different, she's given me the grounding I was always looking for and made me into a much better person. The things I do for P/T D and the other kids is mostly because of her. DD makes me want to be my best self, all the time.
There are way more: My sister, who couldn't be more different from me if she tried, but is one of the funnest people you'd ever meet. My brother, who had about the most difficult adolescence possible and has grown into a man to be admired, and the father of two fantasic girls. My adopted brother, who overcame child abuse that still causes me to wake up in tears, to become a gentle, successful, loving husband and father. My father in law, Nick, who has taught me that you don't have to speak to be a loving and lovable person. And even my father, who despite his faults, gave me a spark of intellectual curiousity that has served me well. I learn for learning's sake, and the driving force behind that has always been him.
I'm a group effort. I consider myself blessed to have been able to have the experiences I've had, both good and awful. Because they shaped the woman I am today, and I like myself. (Took me a long time to say that) I hope that the people I meet as time goes on help me shape myself into something even more fun and happy.
Kathy N-V