obviously since I haven't posted since January.
Latest is that my son is being bullied at school and the school isn't handling it
Mother has applied for a job down here and now we are looking at potential housing for her should she get the job
WAY too much crap is going on for me to even think of quilting or sewing or blogging or anything
Then the thing to do is to put yourself first and take care of yourself. In an aircraft, what do they tell you? To put on your own gasmask first before helping someone else. Same with this. Plan in some You-Time every day to soothe and calm.
And I hope the other stuff gets sorted. I've lived in a Soap-Opera for far too long to hope for quick solutions, but permanent ones when they arrive is nice.
Good luck! And visit when you can... Nel
Hope you can get your life back! Barbara in FL "off kilter snipped-for-privacy@somwherequiet.net" wrote in message news: snipped-for-privacy@y31g2000vbp.googlegroups.com...
We had the same problem and ended up home schooling for 5 years then an alternative school for 2 more. He had lots of good relationships with 4-H, curling, karate, scouts, junior olympic archery programs, etc. etc. Must have done something right though. He's now a Tang Do So black belt, Eagle Scout, and just got accepted at 4 engineering colleges with merit scholarships and wait listed for 2 more out of 7 applications. Still waiting to hear from that one.
It is work, and I gave up a lot of my free time but home schooling is easier than you would think with today's availability of cyber schooling and prepackaged curriculum in subjects you're not strong in. There are also lots of support groups out there and the kids can have a wider range of good relationships in other social groups. Don't count it out, even if for a year or two to help his self-esteem.
Diana - PA
My hair stylist's daughter was bullied for 3 or 4 years. He and his wife had gone to the school several times, to the school board a few times, and no one would do anything about it. He enrolled her in a martial arts class, and that gave her the confidence to know that she could take care of herself if it was really necessary. She is 15 now, and isn't afraid of them any longer. He said he has had to tell her that she can't start it just so she get a few kicks in because that puts her in the same category as the bullies. Texas is beginning to wake up to the fact that bullying is a real problem.
Sherry Starr
Scream if you need us, and feel free to vent any time you like. Lots of hugs on their way...
Well, apparently I got my point across. Let me set the tone, but bear in mind that they see me as a SAHM who volunteers and wears jeans and ts with slip on sneakers....
Tuesday, after sending an email stating I would be at the school, with the resource officer at 8am (NOT asking to meet, stating I expected to meet!), I pulled out the battle gear: dress slacks, tailored top, 3" heels, and full makeup - so not what they are used to...and when you add 3" to my height, it makes me just shy of 6' tall.
Spoke to the resource officer first and was told he couldn't do anything until it escalated to physical violence. Ok. I told him what had been happening and that we have told our son that he has the right to stand up for himself....basically giving him permission to fight back if it continues. Officer said he even tells his own kids that (so did karate instructors). We added (to son) that he needs to get loud so the teacher turns to see what is going on so that she catches the entire thing, not just our son fighting back. Also said that I wanted to bring officer up to date because, since the principal hadn't handled it completely the first time, my confidence that he would handle it THIS time was nil, and that because of this, I expected to see him before the end of the year.
After speaking with resource officer, went to speak to principal. Pointed out that i had mentioned 2 boys from the first incident and either he didn't get the point across or the 2nd child was just too dang stupid to get it because that particular child was continuing to harass my son. I also pulled out the school handbook (again) and pointed out that, so far, in 2 incidents, my son has been subjected to: assault, battery, bullying, and harassment and that it need not continue or else I would pursue this matter through other avenues. I currently have a draft of a letter to the school superintendent regarding these incidents should they continue.
Since this has happened, I have notified the teachers that, because the school is in no way supportive of my son or me, I could no longer support the school. As such, they could no longer count on me to help out in the classes in any way, take 2 days to make copies for them (10 teachers between 1st and 5th grades), or anything else that i may have done in the past. I did not get into detail with them except to say it was an issue with the school and how poorly things are being handled. One teacher was afraid it was something with my daughter, but I reassured her it wasn't. So that's that...at least for the time being - and this weekend I got recruited for helping out next year when my son goes ot middle school...well, the lady tried, but I don't think so.
Now, mother is still waiting to hear about the job. Since I know the people that she would be working for, I called to make sure that her resume was received (I hand delivered it on the day it was due, but the lady it was to go to was out of the office). Yes, they got it, along with 400 other applications!!! So, that's going to be a waiting game. Meanwhile, she's still got issues with her tenants and I can't help her with that...but Ken and I are going to try to look at other housing options for her this week so that she has the information, should she end up coming down here after all.
Deep breaths are the only thing keeping me going...well, that and trying to get things handled to the best of my abilities since I seem to be the best person suited to managing the household, fighting with the school, paying the bills, planning trips, etc.
Phew!
Larisa...still confused by how different children get different treatment even though they all have to follow the same rules and code of condcut
Larisa~*~*~*~ I AM GIVING YOU A STANDING OVATION!! YOU GO GAL!! I AM BEHIND YOU 100% I am so very proud of you!! I just feel in my heart you will get good results!!
Nana CLAP CLAP CLAP
"off kilter snipped-for-privacy@somwherequiet.net" wrote > Scream if you need us, and feel free to vent any time you like. Lots of
Well, apparently I got my point across. Let me set the tone, but bear in mind that they see me as a SAHM who volunteers and wears jeans and ts with slip on sneakers....
Tuesday, after sending an email stating I would be at the school, with the resource officer at 8am (NOT asking to meet, stating I expected to meet!), I pulled out the battle gear: dress slacks, tailored top, 3" heels, and full makeup - so not what they are used to...and when you add 3" to my height, it makes me just shy of 6' tall.
Spoke to the resource officer first and was told he couldn't do anything until it escalated to physical violence. Ok. I told him what had been happening and that we have told our son that he has the right to stand up for himself....basically giving him permission to fight back if it continues. Officer said he even tells his own kids that (so did karate instructors). We added (to son) that he needs to get loud so the teacher turns to see what is going on so that she catches the entire thing, not just our son fighting back. Also said that I wanted to bring officer up to date because, since the principal hadn't handled it completely the first time, my confidence that he would handle it THIS time was nil, and that because of this, I expected to see him before the end of the year.
After speaking with resource officer, went to speak to principal. Pointed out that i had mentioned 2 boys from the first incident and either he didn't get the point across or the 2nd child was just too dang stupid to get it because that particular child was continuing to harass my son. I also pulled out the school handbook (again) and pointed out that, so far, in 2 incidents, my son has been subjected to: assault, battery, bullying, and harassment and that it need not continue or else I would pursue this matter through other avenues. I currently have a draft of a letter to the school superintendent regarding these incidents should they continue.
Since this has happened, I have notified the teachers that, because the school is in no way supportive of my son or me, I could no longer support the school. As such, they could no longer count on me to help out in the classes in any way, take 2 days to make copies for them (10 teachers between 1st and 5th grades), or anything else that i may have done in the past. I did not get into detail with them except to say it was an issue with the school and how poorly things are being handled. One teacher was afraid it was something with my daughter, but I reassured her it wasn't. So that's that...at least for the time being - and this weekend I got recruited for helping out next year when my son goes ot middle school...well, the lady tried, but I don't think so.
Now, mother is still waiting to hear about the job. Since I know the people that she would be working for, I called to make sure that her resume was received (I hand delivered it on the day it was due, but the lady it was to go to was out of the office). Yes, they got it, along with 400 other applications!!! So, that's going to be a waiting game. Meanwhile, she's still got issues with her tenants and I can't help her with that...but Ken and I are going to try to look at other housing options for her this week so that she has the information, should she end up coming down here after all.
Deep breaths are the only thing keeping me going...well, that and trying to get things handled to the best of my abilities since I seem to be the best person suited to managing the household, fighting with the school, paying the bills, planning trips, etc.
Phew!
Larisa...still confused by how different children get different treatment even though they all have to follow the same rules and code of condcut
And from me - CLAP CLAP CLAP
Zero tolerance is the only acceptable way to go.
Well done and good luck to your son.
BRAVO! [[[[CLAP, CLAP, CLAP]]] you go girl! i'm so proud of you! keep telling the school and anyone else who will listen just what is going on at your son's school. eventually someone will open their eyes and ears and DO something about it.
so proud...
amy in SoCal weeping with pride..
Thanks everyone. I appreciate the support. I was afraid that it might cause further problems for DS, but he just had art again ( the class where BOTH incidents happened) and said that he didn't notice the loud mouth saying anything to him, but it might have been because he wasn't paying attention to him (way to go DS!! lol). I told him to keep that in mind and do his best to ignore him if he tries anything again.
Teachers are concerned, but we are working on having them understand the situation and my viewpoint. On one hand, I don't feel right supporting the school (as mentioned earlier), on the other hand, I
*like* helping the teachers, and it wasn't ALL the teachers that were involved in this (only the art teacher and DSs homeroom/math teacher). But, until I get my point across, I feel this is what needs to be done. It's shocking how much work I'm getting done around the house - particularly during the hours that I would have been working at the school. So...with any luck this will be resolved...the principal acts pleasantly surprised if he sees me at the school (book fair week, so I had some shopping for my kiddos to do - Easter presents since we don't "do" candy so much). VP and I don't get a long and haven't since last year, so we tolerate each other. Ah well...pretty soon this school year will be over and next year he'll be at middle school and DD will be in 2nd....scary, huh?? lolOff to take them to school
((((( Larissa))))))) Life can get crazy, especially when you have kids -- we minimize our own problems lots of times and magnify theirs. It's normal parenting. Like everybody says, care for yourself, try to find time for you if possible. If quilting is out, then maybe see if you can find another outlet, less time consuming and demanding, to give you a bit of creative fix that is so good for us all. I find myself suddenly gluing buttons on a pair of white tennis shoes right now. It's not what I want to do exactly, but it's sort of fun and looks pretty wacky. Hug DS for me. Tell him he's a good kid and that your friends love him, too, because you've shared him so much with us. Then tell his mom that we love her, too, because she's shared her life with us so much.
Love, Sunny
Buttons
Occasionally kids give off 'victim vibes'. This is in no way fair, an open invitation to be bullied or harassed, and nor is it the victim's fault in any way. Such kids need extra care and protection from the potential bullies. The last thing they need is to be told to toughen up, or be blamed if they are provoked into reaction and that reaction is all those in authority see of that incident. Refusing to be the victim, LOUDLY, is a good defence. And some kids bully because they are jealous of a particular person for whatever reason. Sometimes you never get to a reason. And sometimes your kid being a little bit different in some way is enough for them to become a target even if they don't give off 'victim vibes'.
James was subject to bullying by a particular kid for a while. Luckily, when it came to a head and he finally reacted physically, there was a history of reported incidents. It took a looooong time for the bully's parents (a lovely couple who were very supportive of the school) to accept that their kid, on the surface a nice, polite, intelligent lad, was the biggest and most persistent bully the school had had in years, and was sneaky and underhand with it. You have my sympathy and understanding, both from a parent's point of view, and from that of a staff member in schools where bullying was not tolerated but still occasionally reared an ugly head... If you have a bully, it's often hard to break the circle, and being caught in it is very unpleasant.
Best of luck with mum as well: I have been in her situation - one of
400+ applicants for a job! It's a bit of a bugger.
Agreed, I have one of those, he is thin, spindly & academic, not great at sports and shy. At primary school he got "protection" by helping one of the less bright but physically more imposing boys with his schoolwork. They both benefitted from the arrangement.
All too true. DS2 recently had his ears pinned back to reduce the name calling, and when he moves up to senior school in September no one there will know that they ever stuck out.
If you can't get the parents of the bully to accept that it is their problem too (whether through not believing it of their child or not treating it as a serious problem) it can be very hard to deal with.
I hope it all improves for your DS Larisa, and remember we are here for you to vent at as required.
Lizzy
InspirePoint website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.