This summer, my girls have spent an inordinate amount of time planning their weddings.Of course, they're thirteen and fourteen (oops...almost fifteen), have no boyfriends or prospects of boyfriends on the immediate horizon, and if they showed up with fiances anytime soon, I'd kill the lot of them.
Despite all of these obstacles, the weddings are being planned without all that pesky worrying if there will actually be grooms available for the big day. (I suggested "Rent a Groom," which did not amuse them)
Tonight DD and I were watching a television show that mentioned the Mecca of all that is tacky, South of The Border. (If there are worse places, I don't want to know about them) South of the Border, in South Carolina, goes beyond campy to simply disgusting. Apparently, this place features "$99 wedding specials," which include your wedding, a room for the night (with waterbed, can't forget that) and breakfast the next day. Ooooh, just what I'd want - a wedding under a giant cement sombrero.
I mentioned that such a wedding wouldn't be to my taste, but I'd be more than willing for DD's wedding to be there -- considering how expensive her education will be, a $99 wedding is about all her Daddy and I can afford. Giving me that disgusted look that only a thirteen year old can muster, she coolly stated, "Are you kidding, Mama? My wedding is going to be at the Four Seasons."
I rolled about for about ten minutes, laughing hysterically. Finally, catching my breath, I told her that if she'd like, we could drive the car past the Four Seasons on the way to Burger King. DD was Not Amused.
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A few days ago, the girls were sitting around with a bridal magazine, planning all the details of their big day. P/T D, who is Irish, unlike the rest of us, would like an Irish-themed wedding. I've also been invited to pay for that, too. I plan to politely decline that offer. :-)
P/T D was going on and on, dreamily telling me about having bagpipers serenade her and her fantasy groom, and shamrocks at each table, and I don't know, leprechauns throwing gold (at my expense) to the guests.
"And as we're leaving the church, I want everyone to throw "Lucky Charms" instead of rice," she said, picturing this incredible dream wedding.
Again, I was so amused that my Diet Coke gave my sinuses a real workout. "What? You want people to throw cereal at your wedding?" I guffawed. (In the immortal words of Sooz, HAW!)
P/T D looked at me as if I were dim. "Kathy, not just any cereal. Lucky Charms -- you know, with the leprechaun on the box? It's so Irish!"
Oh yeah, that makes all the difference in the world. OTOH, with a 50% divorce rate, maybe throwing Lucky Charms is an idea whose time has come.
Kathy N-V